To God Be the Glory

Salvation...no matter how extravagant or simple your story is, it is still an awesome thing.  Some people (our friend Paul) may have turned from a life of persecution to a life of fearless evangelism.  Others may have "just prayed a little prayer in a normal, good Christian home." 

How it happens doesn't make it any more or less awesome.  We need to remember that our souls have been saved from eternal damnation.  We have been spared from the eternal wrath of God.  It doesn't matter how it happened here, because what matters is IT HAPPENED!

But after the fact, it is so cool to see how God has changed you because of His Son.  It is really neat to step back and see how far you've come.  Don't get caught in the past however, remember to keep striving forward.  But...sometimes it's really neat to see how God has done a work in you so far.  You really see the kind of person that God has saved you from, and it makes Him more glorified in your life! 

A could Sundays ago, I prayed to be more vulnerable and to open up more to people and ask for more help...
During the sermon this Sunday, God filled me with terrible behaviors and instances of my past, and told me "I opened your eyes numerous times...remember?"  And I started to play the "What if..." game.  Thankfully, I don't have to think "What if"  because I now know what my future will be thanks to my awesome Savior.

I prayed about it, acknowledging this isn't part of me anymore, and I was called to share with you all a few things that has happened in my life that I am so glad God saved me from, because I don't know how I would have turned out if those little things didn't occur as they did and if God didn't open my eyes to change.  To God be the glory. Sorry it's long...but I hope it's worth it. 

I was saved at a young age, 4 or 5 years old as I prayed a prayer at my bedside with my Mom.  Around that young age, a “friend” would hang out with me and show me some ways to pleasure myself and him.  In my innocence, I didn’t think anything of it.  This kid would lay on top of me, French kiss me, and show me how I could do other things alone to myself.   He would get more physical the more he knew I would allow him to show me, and finally my dad was catching on to this kid.  He found us and chased this kid off our yard thinking he stopped the problem.   Had my dad not cared, I wonder what would be different in me today…

Those images and feelings haunted me.  I wanted the pleasure, and being young I tried to do that to myself.  My mom caught me and scolded me, so I just got sneaky.  But as I grew up, I knew this wasn’t right.  I knew I didn’t want to be wanting this, but those images kept haunting me.  Images of this guy on top of me consumed me…

I struggled with being alone so young.  Before high school, I was obsessively into one of my youth leaders…to the point that I would stalk the poor guy.  He knew I was doing this, and he tolerated it, but he never really told me to stop it.  I lived pretty close to him, and I would sit on the corner a few houses away from his house, waiting for him to come home or come outside so I could stare at his very lean and fit body.  This man was 10 years older than me…and I was only about 13.  

When I got to high school, my youth group went to a nation-wide event called Challenge.  It was held every 4 years in Salt Lake City Utah, and I was able to go with my group.  Here, another crush of mine (only a few years older than me this time) was with us.  I am not sure where we were, but it was dark outside and him and I were out talking.  I was still haunted by those images as a kid, and for some reason it was consuming that night.  I fell to my knees *dramatically* but my friend took the opportunity to lay his hand on me and pray for me to be released…and I was.  I was not haunted by those images, nor have I had any occurring images run through my head since then…but the pleasure seeking spirit was still there to be struggled with. 

Numerous other times I would have crushes, some with close friends.  I would get impatient and initiate discussions of relationships, hoping they would return feelings for me, and none of them did.  I was devastated, wondering what was wrong with me and telling God that he didn’t make me pretty enough.  Nobody wanted me.  Nobody wanted to love me.  I had a hard time loving myself.  

But then, after my freshman year in college, someone did love me.  A younger boy, only a Sophomore in high school.  I worked with him over the summer and developed a good friendship with him, and stronger feelings followed from both ends.  The last day before I would head back to Wartburg that year, we went for a walk…and again…I started the conversation of my feelings…but this time he echoed my words back.  I cried with him as he held me that night…a feeling I had been longing for so long.  

That relationship lasted 3 years…talk of marriage arose between us.  My life was planned to live near him when I graduated and wait for him to finish school.  That would have brought me to Sioux City Iowa after I was done at Wartburg and my internship.  My parents knew something was wrong, but I refused to give in.  I began to think that he and I were against my parents.  Distance rose between me and my family emotionally.  I would feel out of place.  Family holidays happened, and I felt I didn’t belong.  They didn’t like him, and it made me mad.  I tried to get him to go to church with me, but he didn’t want to.  He didn’t want to dig deep into God, and I eventually became okay with this.  I tried to change him…I really never gave him reason to think he was good enough…

Then I compromised more physically…he and I wanted to be alone…and the more we got alone, the deeper into each other we got.  At this point, I suppose I only knew how to physically please, so that’s what I wanted to do, compromising more and more my original stand for my purity.  Finally, after dated over 2 years, I had broken the one promise to my future husband that I couldn’t take back.  I lost my virginity.  At the time I didn’t think it a huge deal, because I was set on this guy being my husband anyway.  As I said, my life was based around him.  He gave me a promise ring and everything, so I thought I was okay.  

Then God changed this guy’s heart to another girl.  We broke up, and I was shattered.  Not only was my life completely lost now, but I no longer had that precious jewel in me.  Reality hit me hard the couple days after he broke up.  I am no longer a virgin…(this is not easy to say, please understand that).  

Now my ponder moment, what if God didn’t send my dad to stop my younger friend?  What if God didn’t answer my friend’s prayer to release me of those memories?  What if God didn’t break me of my relationship?  Would I be pregnant now?  What would I be doing?  How many would I have been with?  Friends, I see God has saved me, but I also see a lesson…I see that the majority of the guys I fell for were Christians, but not Jesus Lovers.  I didn’t date because God knew I wasn’t ready.  For so long I had begged God to give me someone…and I was willing to really take anyone that would return my love.  He gave me someone to show me something valuable, even though it hurt me.  He showed me the value of my family by having that suffer.  He showed me the value of my purity by having me lose my virginity.  He showed me the kind of guy I really needed by giving me what I was asking for.  God has really opened my eyes through these circumstances, but something deeper happened after the break-up and even up to today.  God showed me that HE is the one that can fill me.  He was the one I was seeking all this time.  However, I payed a huge price because in losing my virginity, my heart aches even today.  I was looking through some of my journals in finding what I wanted to share on this post, and I came across this section:  

December 4, 2011 – Breaking Free Mission Trip Reflection

….We loved on people…We loved these women that for their whole lives hadn’t known what real love was.  Then it hit me.  My past came back.  My imperfect soul and body.  The fact I was not a virgin killed me.  But God grabbed my heart with a verse (referred to a sermon shared that Sunday).  To me, my sexual sin made me tainted and unworthy of a godly man who was waiting.  I felt that a godly man was being dangled in front of me to taunt me.  “He is so rare and in love with God…this man…I could entrust my everything to him…but he deserves more.  He is looking for something I don’t have anymore.  He is wanting someone who waited. I blew it with him…”  These are my lies.  I am not bound by this person anymore.  Yes, I made a mistake, and no longer have the treasure called “virginity,” but I am made pure again through Christ.  I am “forgetting was is behind and straining for what is ahead.”  

I see now that in order for me to see the real beauty of Jesus, God needed to break me by “giving in” to my desires only to take it away and show me that He is still there when everything else crumbles before me.  He planted a pain in my heart that aches for other girls that are struggling like I did and still do at times.  I had to pay a huge price before I would be able to see past my pity party of being forever alone.  And I take that today by asking God to soften my heart to hear Him more and by getting more of myself out of the way.  Today I dig on the promises of His unfailing love and pursuit for me.  I see how Rahab was blessed and forgiven, but I also see how those that resist temptation more than I could receive a higher reward, hence why a virgin was appointed to carry the Son of God.  The prostitute and tainted woman is used to show our relationship with the Father, and the cool thing is that we will be completely clean of our past and presented as a beautiful bride before our Lord.  What a promise that is for me!   I hope that the man I marry will still see a precious jewel before him on his wedding day, and that God would renew that in me for his sake.  I also pray that this man and everyone reading this will see the power and love of God working through me, and that this will open your eyes more in making connections of God’s hand in your lives.  

Genesis 2, when Adam was made and alone, God said “It is not good for man to be alone.  I will make a suitable helper for him.”  

That is me…I am my husband’s suitable helper, designed for him…and somehow this past of mine, this impurity of mine, this change was used to really grip me and make me just that.  I know he will see that when God opens his eyes, I just have to trust beyond my own being.  The biggest change I see is based on the lie Satan planted in me saying “This is how you please a man,” which led to my fall.  Not anymore…God is showing me how I can really please the godly men around me, and even my husband beyond the physical.  The rest comes later, in the marriage bed.  Then I can unleash everything.  

This time, I will wait.  Thank God for second chances. 

Food for Thought

There are just a few quotes I want to post up here from a book I am slowly making my way through called Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer.  I read a little last night, and these quotes really made me stop and ponder.  I was really taken back with the quote from Chapter 12, but all these are good points to ponder. 

"It is heartening to learn how many of God's mighty deeds were done in secret, away from the prying eyes of men and angels.  When God created the heavens and the earth, darkness was upon the face of the deep.  When the Eternal Son became flesh, He was carried for a time in the darkness of the sweet virgin's womb.  When He died for the life of the world, it was in the darkness, seen by no one at the last.  When He arose from the dead, it was 'early in the morning.'  No one saw Him rise.  It is as if God were saying, 'What I am is all that need matter to you, for there lie your hope and your peace.  I will do what I will do, and it will all come to light at last, but how I do it is My secret.  Trust me, and be not afraid.'" (Chapter 11-The Wisdom of God)   So if something doesn't seem to be happening, take comfort that God regularly works in ways we don't always see right away.

"Science observes how the power of God operates, discovers a regular pattern somewhere and fixes it as a 'law.'  The uniformity of God's activities in His creation enables the scientist to predict the course of natural phenomena.  The trustworthiness of God's behavior in His world is the foundation of all scientific truth.  Upon it the scientist rests his faith and from there he goes on the achieve great and useful things in such fields as those of navigation, chemistry, agriculture, and the medical arts." (Chapter 12-The Omnipotence of God) I saw on the news that this drought we are experiencing can last as long as til Halloween before we see any relief for our land.  We are able to predict this based on past weather patterns and dissecting the atmospheric movements over time.  So my question for you all, which I am very intrigued with further discussion....do you feel it odd that God would make a 'pattern' to make his works predictable, or would you feel this to be part of the Fall?  Feedback welcome. 

"When the psalmist saw the transgression of the wicked his heart told him how it could be.  'There is no fear of God before his eyes,' he explained, and in so saying revealed to us the psychology of sin.  When men no longer fear God, they transgress His laws without hesitation.  The fear of consequences is no deterrent when the fear of God is gone."  (Chapter 13-The Divine Transcendence)  I am going to make a bold claim and connect this passage with our current state in America...Just ponder this connection.  Again, personal discussion on this topic would be amazing.  I encourage input, both to fill me and to overcome a fear of confrontation and debate. 

"The certainty that God is always near us, present is all parts of His world, closer to us than our thoughts, should maintain us in a state in high moral happiness most of the time.  But not all the time.  It would be less than honest to promise every believer continual jubilee and less than realistic to expect it.  As a child may cry out in pain even when sheltered in its mother's arms, so a Christian may sometimes know what it is to suffer even in the conscious presence of God.  Though 'always rejoicing,' Paul admitted that he was sometimes sorrowful, and for our sakes Christ experienced strong crying and tears though He never left the bosom of the Father (John 1:18)."  (Chapter 14-God's Omnipresence)  Amen....

Calming Peace

Two posts in one day is really cool, cause it means that God has really laid things on my heart to share with everyone. 

Today at work, I had an afternoon free for one-on-one visits to people in their rooms.  I walked by one gentleman's room and walked in.  His wife usually comes and sits with this man every afternoon.  He is progressing far enough in a disease where he becomes very confused, agitated, even sometimes aggressive.  Today, he was that.  He was twitching around, couldn't relax, and he had a grip that could break my hand.  (His wife was very concerned for me)

I sat by this man's bed and held his hands, gently stroking them to try and calm him down.  Him and I were having this conversation that I fully didn't even know what it was about...but many times you go off of what the resident talks about and try really hard to meet them where they are at that very moment.   

This guy and I were having quite a time, and at many points he was squeezing my hands and pulling my fingers around enough that I probably could have had them broken off.  But surprisingly, never once did I get uptight.  Never once did I worry.  His wife rose her voice a couple times to tell the guy to let me go, and I felt bad hushing her to keep the atmosphere calm.  He calmed down if there wasn't any reason for him to feel threatened, and I kept my calm.  The wife went to try to get a nurse to give him a pill, but the guy wouldn't take it.  So instead, they rubbed a gel on his arm that would help to call him down.

Then the miracle hit...I felt the urge to start singing to him.  I sang "How Great Thou Art" to this man, and his grip INSTANTLY loosened and he let me go.  He stared off, calm as could be as I went through the first verse and chorus.  Because of the gel, this man was able to stay calm for the rest of the afternoon, from what I could see anyway as I'd pass by his room after that. 

I believe that the peace of God flew from that song, and radiated inside of me to help me keep my calm no matter what.  So cool to see what happens when we just let God fill us.  We are able to fully rest in Him.  We can keep fighting Him, or we can submit again and again to His promises and continue to be filled with Peace. 

Thank you God...I needed to experience and ponder on this. 

Vulnerable Moment

I love having this blog, because it serves as both an outlet for me to encourage and maybe teach…but it also allows me to show how human I am and to pray that my story and weakness can bring you hope in your life.  I feel it necessary to share one of the lowest points of my life on here, both to vent it out and let it go…but to also show you all that you can overcome your low points as well.  I hope to shed some light of how God speaks in those low times, and how you can still hear Him even when you don’t want to. 

This Wednesday night, my friend Mel sent me a verse saying “God has really put it on my heart to send you this verse right now.”   

Revelation 3:8  I know your deeds.  See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut.  I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.

I took this to heart, praying for God to open my eyes and show me what this verse is pointing to in my life.  I had asked some very wise people what it means to them or what they feel I would need to hear about it. 

Thursday came about, and after work that day, I had gone to the bank to check my account, waiting to see if an important check had cashed and if I had enough in my checking to actually keep the check from bouncing.  In my frustrations in my bank account and myself, I had realized that I goofed again with irresponsibility and my whole being went rampant.  I am thankful that the Spirit of the LORD never leaves us today, but I really felt like He did with how much hatred filled my heart.  I sat at Duos to be around people, and I couldn’t stay there for more than 5 minutes because of anger and hatred that I had for myself and others around me.    We all struggle with lies, and I have pushed lies aside and had hopes for God to pull through on so many things…but Thursday I was done waiting.  I was done going through and seeing nothing happening.  I was done not being able to supply, to live, to see changes, to provide what I promised other people around me.  I stayed in my apartment alone Thursday, hysteric.  I was crying, kicking around, screaming to God “I am done doing your way!  I see nothing happening!  I see nothing!  I am sick of waiting, and I don’t see how you are even trying to do anything with this!”  I wanted to hurt myself.  I really wanted to hurt myself, to hurt God.  My heart was sick…I tried to make myself puke, I reached for knives a few times but never grabbed them…I curled in a ball on the floor and just screamed silently through sobs.  But no physical harm happened to me…I couldn’t do anything to myself.  I felt the urge to hurt myself…but I felt held back.  I couldn’t reach for anything, I couldn’t do anything, because the arms of God were holding me back.  I had fear and some common sense in me to say “I would regret this later.”    God kept me safe.  He says He will.  God never let me go.  He never left me Thursday night. 

For the rest of the week, I really struggled with finding joy in Christ like I did before.  I was hardened to God.  My passion was gone, and love for His Word was gone.  Yes, sometimes it is tough, and we in nature are rebellious and independent.  Folks, we don’t want to be told what to do.  We don’t naturally want to submit every waking moment.  I acknowledge that I am very stubborn and very rebellious to God.  It is by my sinful nature that I am that way.  I wanted to make my own way, but I knew my way would fail.  I know God’s way is perfect, even if it’s not happening now.  

However, there are promises in God’s Word that I couldn’t let go of.  My heart was so sick and apathetic to my beautiful Savior, but I still heard promises of deliverance and promises that I had seen happen.   I remembered that it is part of God’s character to fulfill what He calls to happen.  I tried to find time to spend with God.  I slowly saw glimpses of good times with God again, but rebelled the next minute.  This morning, I was challenged to stay part of the worship service and I prayed for God to give me joy again.  While I sang and tried to praise God, I felt God’s Presence fill me again.  

Tonight, a big thing that we shared about was trust.  Trusting God fully.  Trusting His timing.   Trusting His promises.  Trusting His Divine Plan over our little snippets of instant wants.   Trusting Him because of Who He is.  My Psalm of choice was Psalm 30 this week, and please read it for yourselves.   

Little snippets of this Psalm however:

O LORD, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit. 

For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. 

Oh LORD, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.  

God hears every care you have, and He will deliver you.  God instructs us to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind.  This week, I didn’t have any heart…so I had to see how to love God with my mind.  

And I know God acts like this.   My Sovereign God has the ability to change hearts, and changing a heart does not mean He is changing His mind.  Saul was converted to Paul in time.  Saul was forever going to be God’s chosen instrument, but when it would happen was going to be an act of God alone.  It’s the same for you, and I pray knowing it can happen…that’s my hope.  You may not know what you are called to be, but I promise you that God will call you to be that and no one can hinder that, not even yourself.  So stop trying.  =)  (easier said than done)  

Again, Revelation 3:8  I know your deeds.  See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut.  I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.

When times get tough, and your heart just isn’t in it, do you still persevere to God because you know His promises are true?  You know His holiness is real?  I am SO thankful for people around me who challenged me to look to God as He is, not what He does.  It was so easy to be caught in a moment, but my week could have looked a little different if I was trying to persevere toward something I couldn’t feel anymore.  Wisdom is beautiful, and God really showed me how.  

Hope in the LORD.  Pray as if He will answer your prayers.  Seek discernment on whether or not this door before you is locked by God, or held open by God.   I know I am…but I hope in the LORD.  I hope in God to make this desire in my heart happen.  I trust God to not let my heart fall into the depths of the pits.  I trust that no man can shut this door before me, and I need God to REALLY keep me sane when some rebel against their calls that could be keeping me waiting.  

Pray for myself and for others around you, for we are all fighting some sort of battle, and what is happening to us is nothing new.  We aren’t alone.  We can help each other, and pray for each other. 

I love you all.  Keep hoping. 

When I Can't Do It Anymore

Please God, makes these words true in my heart again...

Powerful, so powerful, your glory fills the sky.  Your mighty works displayed for all to see.  The beauty of your majesty awakes my heart to sing, how marvelous...how wonderful you are!  Beautiful one I love, beautiful one I adore...beautiful one my soul must sing! 

We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.  In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.  May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.  Psalm 33 (verses 20-22)

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.  Psalm 32 (verse 7)

My eyes are even on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare.  Psalm 25:15

Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth.
I love the house where you live, O LORD, the place where your glory dwells.  Psalm 26:2-3, 8

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.  For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.   Psalm 27:4-5


It is Well With My Soul http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FECouIUrh0

Beauty from Pain  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGe89Euc6Bk

Dwell in the House of the Lord

Today I had something hit me while I was visiting with a very dear friend in my nursing home.  I had a moment where my friend and I were reflecting in prayer, and I had some divine insight that made a connection between a couple passages that I wanted to share with you all. 

First off, if you have not read Hosea, please read it.  It's not a complete romance book, but it shows a HUGE portion of God's attributes in relation to us, his adulterous bride.  I finished a book called "Redeeming Love," which is based on this book of the Bible.  The final part of this connection is Psalm 23:6 "Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." I hope you can follow where my heart went as I try to put it into words. 

As I closed my eyes during our prayer time, I pictured myself in a house.  Just a cute, quaint place that was not my own.  It was a safe place, my sanctuary.  In this moment of reflection, I was with my husband (God). I was all dressed up prim and proper, working around the house.  I reflected on what it would be like to have been prostituted my whole life, and to continually run back to that because it was the life I was comfortable with.  Eventually, I learn more and more of this comfort inside this house that I did not deserve to be in.  I dwelt and communicated with a man that I didn't deserve to be with.  I pictured God pursing me in love and devotion to get me to the place that I was in my daydream.  I had a moment of realization that I am living in this "house" now because God has won me over.  Now, I still walk outside of this security and begin looking for things that I want to adore, and seek other things other than the One providing this shelter for me, but as a faithful husband, He pulls me back into His embrace.  

My big "Aha" moment rested on the fact that this house was not mine, and in reality, if I was in someone else's home, would I feel comfortable bringing things inside of it without the consent of the person that owned it?  Was it my place?  No, it's not.  I want to take control, and sometimes bring my own desires into the 'house' of the Lord.  God makes the calls of what comes into His house.  I can ask for it as his future bride, but I do not demand it nor do I go and get it for myself.  

So, saying this and having pictured where my place was in the "house" of the Lord, I reflected on a couple prayer requests that had weighed on my heart this morning.  One I had prayed for others:

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us."  
Hebrews 12:1

This next one I needed for myself:

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.  Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."  Philippians 4:8

What goes on in our hearts dwells there and appears in our behaviors, which become habits and obsessions.  Then it's hard to break them.  God showed me that I needed to nip it in the butt and start by guarding my heart and keeping my thoughts captive through thinking on these things in Philippians. 

This is something that God and I will work on together as I wake up in His 'house' every morning.  I pray you all can see this as well, and that maybe you can even let your imagination run wild as you spend time with our Father, who wants to be personal with you.     

"Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you.  Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you."  Psalm 143:8

Psalm 23

I couldn't wait to write about this.  Last night I was having a Jesus Date at Duos, writing in my journal and having a back and forth conversation with God in my heart.  I was reading the Psalm chapter that my young adult group would be reading and praying over, and my heart jumped when I started.  I want to share the insight of these 6 verses, and why these play such a huge role in my life.  I had been opened to newer ideas, and I can't keep silent about it.  I want to share.  I am also excited because this is what I would call my prophetic passage.  I was given this passage in a dream and draw from this very often.  

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

¹ The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
²     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,^[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

 This psalm takes the whole chapter and titles it one thing, but really there are two different pictures happening in these 6 verses.  Verses 1-4 talks about The Good Shepherd, but 5 and 6 don't talk about a shepherd, but a host to his guest.  I didn't make this connection until I dug into it more.  For now, let me divide the chapter up and highlight where my jump really feels comfort.  

"The LORD is my shepherd, I lack no good thing." 

What a statement...David starts off saying "God, you are all I need."  If I have you, I don't need anything else.  And then David explains why this is so true to him.  

"He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul."

Looking at this from a sheep/shepherd standpoint, we see that this points to God providing for us our daily needs.  Sheep need to graze and drink water.  God leads them to a rich supply of that and we can trust that God will lead us to what we need. 
 
Also, I LOVE this visual because it is God leading me to his creation and allowing me to soak in His Peace through that.  We get so busy we miss out of God's creation, and here it says "he leads me"  I don't go myself.  He shows me the beauty.  He reveals the glory.  He restores me.  I love water so much, and sitting beside a running creek or river fills me with absolute peace...the ocean takes my breath away.  I feel this section is where David and I really had a heart to heart about what the LORD does within our souls.  I feel so full of the Holy Spirit when he makes me quiet down in His creation, reminding me that He gives me all I need. 

"He guides me along right paths for his name's sake." 

Okay...last night was the first time I was really confused with the phrase "for his name's sake."  What did that even mean?  Did it mean that God was leading us to keep his name from being soiled?  Was His divine reasoning for guiding us to keep His name Holy and righteous?  Well...heh.  He keeps it Holy for sure, but it's deeper than that.  God does what He does because that's just they way He is. 

  

"...for his name's sake"  For the purpose of his name.  For the intent of his name.  

I feel this says "it is because of who you are that you act by guiding me in paths of righteousness."   It is a great assurance of His Presence and love because it is, Who He is.  The phrase makes me think of the part of "You are God Alone" where it says "You are God, that's just the way it is." 

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;" 

It doesn't say "I will never walk through the darkest valley."  Catch that?  As the sheep being led by our Shepherd, we are to trust wherever He takes us...and David isn't promising that it won't get iffy.  What he is promising is that the Shepherd will always be with us, so we don't have to be afraid.  

"your rod and your staff they comfort me."  

These tools of a shepherd are used to guide his sheep along paths and keep them out of harms way.  I imagine they are also used to keep pursuing predators away.  David understood full well.  

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies."  

In these times, when a guest was invited into a man's home, they were held in highest esteem.  They were within security and strong protection of the host, assuring them safety as long as they were in that place.  Remember Lot and the guests (angels)?  Lot offered his own daughters to the angry mob before he turned his guests over.  Don't ask me my...

I believe that is what is being drawn in this verse.  David is assured that the LORD is offering him divine protection even in the presence of his enemies.  He has nothing to be afraid of.  

"You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows."  

Again, showing high esteem for his guests and providing for them to the fullest.  

"Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,"  

I read this verse in another translation, and having one word changed made this verse all the more amazing.  "pursue"  Surely your goodness and love will PURSUE me all the days of my life.  (also, see how love and mercy are interchangeable?)  When I read follow, I pictured it more like "oh his love is just always with me"  But no...His goodness and love GOES AFTER me.  Not just sits with me.  It full-blown pursues me!  It initiates and continually wins me over the things of this world.  How amazing!  

"And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

 Amen.  Just another verse saying "All I know is I'm not home yet, this is not where I belong."  What a promise we have to look forward to.  

And it's because of Who God is...last night when I was sitting, I was challenged because of the phrase "for his name's sake" to see the attributes of God in everything I read last night.  I made lists of who God was in the things He did.  So awesome...it really felt like I was delighting in God the way He intended us to do it.  Sure, he gives us promises and may show us some amazing things that we can do, but it's beyond that.  God is God.  We can't understand fully, but what an amazing truth in itself!  Look deeper into Who God is by the attributes He reveals in His Word, and prepare to be blown away that this God pursues you all the days of your life.  

I love you all.