Today I had something hit me while I was visiting with a very dear friend in my nursing home. I had a moment where my friend and I were reflecting in prayer, and I had some divine insight that made a connection between a couple passages that I wanted to share with you all.
First off, if you have not read Hosea, please read it. It's not a complete romance book, but it shows a HUGE portion of God's attributes in relation to us, his adulterous bride. I finished a book called "Redeeming Love," which is based on this book of the Bible. The final part of this connection is Psalm 23:6 "Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." I hope you can follow where my heart went as I try to put it into words.
As I closed my eyes during our prayer time, I pictured myself in a house. Just a cute, quaint place that was not my own. It was a safe place, my sanctuary. In this moment of reflection, I was with my husband (God). I was all dressed up prim and proper, working around the house. I reflected on what it would be like to have been prostituted my whole life, and to continually run back to that because it was the life I was comfortable with. Eventually, I learn more and more of this comfort inside this house that I did not deserve to be in. I dwelt and communicated with a man that I didn't deserve to be with. I pictured God pursing me in love and devotion to get me to the place that I was in my daydream. I had a moment of realization that I am living in this "house" now because God has won me over. Now, I still walk outside of this security and begin looking for things that I want to adore, and seek other things other than the One providing this shelter for me, but as a faithful husband, He pulls me back into His embrace.
My big "Aha" moment rested on the fact that this house was not mine, and in reality, if I was in someone else's home, would I feel comfortable bringing things inside of it without the consent of the person that owned it? Was it my place? No, it's not. I want to take control, and sometimes bring my own desires into the 'house' of the Lord. God makes the calls of what comes into His house. I can ask for it as his future bride, but I do not demand it nor do I go and get it for myself.
So, saying this and having pictured where my place was in the "house" of the Lord, I reflected on a couple prayer requests that had weighed on my heart this morning. One I had prayed for others:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us."
Hebrews 12:1
This next one I needed for myself:
"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts
on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and
admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of
praise." Philippians 4:8
What goes on in our hearts dwells there and appears in our behaviors, which become habits and obsessions. Then it's hard to break them. God showed me that I needed to nip it in the butt and start by guarding my heart and keeping my thoughts captive through thinking on these things in Philippians.
This is something that God and I will work on together as I wake up in His 'house' every morning. I pray you all can see this as well, and that maybe you can even let your imagination run wild as you spend time with our Father, who wants to be personal with you.
"Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you." Psalm 143:8
Monday, July 9, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Psalm 23
I couldn't wait to write about this. Last night I was having a Jesus Date at Duos, writing in my journal and having a back and forth conversation with God in my heart. I was reading the Psalm chapter that my young adult group would be reading and praying over, and my heart jumped when I started. I want to share the insight of these 6 verses, and why these play such a huge role in my life. I had been opened to newer ideas, and I can't keep silent about it. I want to share. I am also excited because this is what I would call my prophetic passage. I was given this passage in a dream and draw from this very often.
Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
This psalm takes the whole chapter and titles it one thing, but really there are two different pictures happening in these 6 verses. Verses 1-4 talks about The Good Shepherd, but 5 and 6 don't talk about a shepherd, but a host to his guest. I didn't make this connection until I dug into it more. For now, let me divide the chapter up and highlight where my jump really feels comfort.
"The LORD is my shepherd, I lack no good thing."
What a statement...David starts off saying "God, you are all I need." If I have you, I don't need anything else. And then David explains why this is so true to him.
"He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul."
Looking at this from a sheep/shepherd standpoint, we see that this points to God providing for us our daily needs. Sheep need to graze and drink water. God leads them to a rich supply of that and we can trust that God will lead us to what we need.
Also, I LOVE this visual because it is God leading me to his creation and allowing me to soak in His Peace through that. We get so busy we miss out of God's creation, and here it says "he leads me" I don't go myself. He shows me the beauty. He reveals the glory. He restores me. I love water so much, and sitting beside a running creek or river fills me with absolute peace...the ocean takes my breath away. I feel this section is where David and I really had a heart to heart about what the LORD does within our souls. I feel so full of the Holy Spirit when he makes me quiet down in His creation, reminding me that He gives me all I need.
Also, I LOVE this visual because it is God leading me to his creation and allowing me to soak in His Peace through that. We get so busy we miss out of God's creation, and here it says "he leads me" I don't go myself. He shows me the beauty. He reveals the glory. He restores me. I love water so much, and sitting beside a running creek or river fills me with absolute peace...the ocean takes my breath away. I feel this section is where David and I really had a heart to heart about what the LORD does within our souls. I feel so full of the Holy Spirit when he makes me quiet down in His creation, reminding me that He gives me all I need.
"He guides me along right paths for his name's sake."
Okay...last night was the first time I was really confused with the phrase "for his name's sake." What did that even mean? Did it mean that God was leading us to keep his name from being soiled? Was His divine reasoning for guiding us to keep His name Holy and righteous? Well...heh. He keeps it Holy for sure, but it's deeper than that. God does what He does because that's just they way He is.
"...for his name's sake" For the purpose of his name. For the intent of his name.
I feel this says "it is because of who you are that you act by guiding me in paths of righteousness." It is a great assurance of His Presence and love because it is, Who He is. The phrase makes me think of the part of "You are God Alone" where it says "You are God, that's just the way it is."
"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;"
It doesn't say "I will never walk through the darkest valley." Catch that? As the sheep being led by our Shepherd, we are to trust wherever He takes us...and David isn't promising that it won't get iffy. What he is promising is that the Shepherd will always be with us, so we don't have to be afraid.
"your rod and your staff they comfort me."
These tools of a shepherd are used to guide his sheep along paths and keep them out of harms way. I imagine they are also used to keep pursuing predators away. David understood full well.
"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies."
In these times, when a guest was invited into a man's home, they were held in highest esteem. They were within security and strong protection of the host, assuring them safety as long as they were in that place. Remember Lot and the guests (angels)? Lot offered his own daughters to the angry mob before he turned his guests over. Don't ask me my...
I believe that is what is being drawn in this verse. David is assured that the LORD is offering him divine protection even in the presence of his enemies. He has nothing to be afraid of.
"You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows."
Again, showing high esteem for his guests and providing for them to the fullest.
"Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,"
I read this verse in another translation, and having one word changed made this verse all the more amazing. "pursue" Surely your goodness and love will PURSUE me all the days of my life. (also, see how love and mercy are interchangeable?) When I read follow, I pictured it more like "oh his love is just always with me" But no...His goodness and love GOES AFTER me. Not just sits with me. It full-blown pursues me! It initiates and continually wins me over the things of this world. How amazing!
"And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."
Amen. Just another verse saying "All I know is I'm not home yet, this is not where I belong." What a promise we have to look forward to.
And it's because of Who God is...last night when I was sitting, I was challenged because of the phrase "for his name's sake" to see the attributes of God in everything I read last night. I made lists of who God was in the things He did. So awesome...it really felt like I was delighting in God the way He intended us to do it. Sure, he gives us promises and may show us some amazing things that we can do, but it's beyond that. God is God. We can't understand fully, but what an amazing truth in itself! Look deeper into Who God is by the attributes He reveals in His Word, and prepare to be blown away that this God pursues you all the days of your life.
I love you all.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
You Are God
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. (Proverbs 13:12)
My heart has been struggling and struggling and fighting over and over again with myself and my own desires that I can't point whether they are of an evil or good source...I have hopes that continue to sit inside me, some that I haven't seen much of anything with...and because of that it makes my heart so sick and weary.
Numerous times, I hear Wait my child. And wait I do...but it isn't easy.
I was finally able to express myself better through a song that came to me a couple nights ago...so I want to post the lyrics of that song here. I have also made the realization of the depth of the hope I have is in the fact that I am not home yet...the real hope that is deferred is the fact that I am still sitting in this world full of sin, deceit, and heartache. I realize more and more about how homesick I really am, but I find great joy in reading how much my God wants me and how the real revelation is that He wants to show me my perfection through Christ. It has nothing to do with events down here, but the final perfection I have with Him in His glorious presence.
I could not see this before...my heart was so engrossed on the fact that my hopes would bring about good things down here...desires that could be met now...now I am not saying that some of my desires are bad. I see how we, being in God's image and likeness, mirror His desires. He says he gives us our desires (Psalm 37:4) I look at how the Garden of Eden was before man was tempted. I see how those desires are in fact a beauty in God's eyes...however, those desires don't compare with my promised perfection.
So let us not set our minds on what is down here, pursuing things of this world that will only fade away. Let us strive to not seek anything or desire anything more than seeing Jesus face to face. It is a constant struggle, and I realize that looking deeper into my struggles on the surface, they all reflect this agony that I really want to be in perfection with Jesus.
Set your mind on things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.
I'm running around again
Rearranging the list inside my head
Why do I keep doing this to myself?
It's hard to say no
I really want to have control
But I know it's not my call
I'm giving in...over and over saying
You are God
Only God, your love can make me whole
Because you are God
Holy God, your Son has saved my soul
And made me your own
Tossing in my bed
With a heart full of dread
I just can't seem to ever get over this
It haunts me every night
And I want to make it right
Remind me it's not my call
I need to give in...over and over saying
You are God
Only God, your love can make me whole
Because you are God
Holy God, your Son has saved my soul
And made me your own
I'm on my knees again in your Presence
Pouring out every ounce of pride that I have
I can't bear this on my own
I want you to call me Home
But I'll press on, saying
You are God
Only God, your love can make me whole
Because you are God
Holy God, your Son has saved my soul
And made me your own
My heart has been struggling and struggling and fighting over and over again with myself and my own desires that I can't point whether they are of an evil or good source...I have hopes that continue to sit inside me, some that I haven't seen much of anything with...and because of that it makes my heart so sick and weary.
Numerous times, I hear Wait my child. And wait I do...but it isn't easy.
I was finally able to express myself better through a song that came to me a couple nights ago...so I want to post the lyrics of that song here. I have also made the realization of the depth of the hope I have is in the fact that I am not home yet...the real hope that is deferred is the fact that I am still sitting in this world full of sin, deceit, and heartache. I realize more and more about how homesick I really am, but I find great joy in reading how much my God wants me and how the real revelation is that He wants to show me my perfection through Christ. It has nothing to do with events down here, but the final perfection I have with Him in His glorious presence.
I could not see this before...my heart was so engrossed on the fact that my hopes would bring about good things down here...desires that could be met now...now I am not saying that some of my desires are bad. I see how we, being in God's image and likeness, mirror His desires. He says he gives us our desires (Psalm 37:4) I look at how the Garden of Eden was before man was tempted. I see how those desires are in fact a beauty in God's eyes...however, those desires don't compare with my promised perfection.
So let us not set our minds on what is down here, pursuing things of this world that will only fade away. Let us strive to not seek anything or desire anything more than seeing Jesus face to face. It is a constant struggle, and I realize that looking deeper into my struggles on the surface, they all reflect this agony that I really want to be in perfection with Jesus.
Set your mind on things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.
(Colossians 3:2)
...let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him...
(Hebrews 10:22)
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.
(Psalm 23:6)
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
(I Cor. 13:7)
Do not act like the other nations, who try to read their future in the stars.
(Jeremiah 10:2)
Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.
(I John 3:2-3)
I'm running around again
Rearranging the list inside my head
Why do I keep doing this to myself?
It's hard to say no
I really want to have control
But I know it's not my call
I'm giving in...over and over saying
You are God
Only God, your love can make me whole
Because you are God
Holy God, your Son has saved my soul
And made me your own
Tossing in my bed
With a heart full of dread
I just can't seem to ever get over this
It haunts me every night
And I want to make it right
Remind me it's not my call
I need to give in...over and over saying
You are God
Only God, your love can make me whole
Because you are God
Holy God, your Son has saved my soul
And made me your own
I'm on my knees again in your Presence
Pouring out every ounce of pride that I have
I can't bear this on my own
I want you to call me Home
But I'll press on, saying
You are God
Only God, your love can make me whole
Because you are God
Holy God, your Son has saved my soul
And made me your own
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Courageous
This was today's sermon for Father's Day at Grace. I want to share my notes with you all about what was spoken.
Guys, I hope you find encouragement and perseverance in this, because I am encouraged to know that someday a man like this will stand with me.
Acts 7:54-8:4 Please read.
Courage is defined as "play the man." Courageous, for man, means play the role God has called for your life.
Stephen's story:
-Stephen's trial and witness
-Stephen's reaction in his hour of trial
-Stephen's strength
Verse 57- In a court, the crowd plugs their ears, screams, and charges Stephen...they take him out and in furry begin to stone him...without a death sentence established. This is a mob, out of pure anger and rage.
verse 59...Stephen was calm. Why?
He was gazing at God and Jesus in Heaven.
(Ask yourself men...is this the courage you want for yourself? For your wife? For your children?)
Outside of Stephen, there was chaos! He was being killed, stoned...there was so much noise and anger and furry that he was hearing!
But inside Stephen, we see peace. He was gazing at Heaven. Stones are flying at him, pain inflicted...but he isn't distracted from the glory above Him.
Verse 55 and 56 is shown as that pillar of courage. Want to be strong guys? Want to be bold? There you go. This is how Stephen did it...this is how you can do it.
Stephen saw Jesus, and that brought Him peace...because this is what Jesus was to Stephen:
1-Our Reigning King
2-Our High Priest
3-Our Welcoming Witness
1) Stephen is showing that he is in the midst of our Reigning King through his stoning.
2) Stephen is saying we don't need a mediator down here anymore to get to Heaven. Heaven is here before me!
See, the Jews felt that a priest was necessary to present them to God in the temple. If the temple wasn't there, and if there was no priest to mediate them before God, then it was hopeless. Stephen is saying "That's not needed! Jesus is my High Priest, and I don't have to do anything!"
3) I didn't notice this before...but see that Jesus is standing by the Father. Don't we usually see Jesus sitting? What is being said here when Jesus is "standing" at the Father's right hand?
Witnesses in courts would stand in the presence of their client, or the person they were testifying for. That's what Jesus is doing here for Stephen. He is saying "I am your witness. Welcome home Stephen," and Stephen realized this.
What a story...what a message for Father's Day. Whether you are already a father, or are a soon-to-be or desiring-to-be dad, take heart in this message through Stephen. What about him can you take in order to be a father of great courage?
Have a blessed day! Give thanks for your father and Heaven Father and enjoy your earthly father while you still can.
Guys, I hope you find encouragement and perseverance in this, because I am encouraged to know that someday a man like this will stand with me.
Acts 7:54-8:4 Please read.
Courage is defined as "play the man." Courageous, for man, means play the role God has called for your life.
Stephen's story:
-Stephen's trial and witness
-Stephen's reaction in his hour of trial
-Stephen's strength
Verse 57- In a court, the crowd plugs their ears, screams, and charges Stephen...they take him out and in furry begin to stone him...without a death sentence established. This is a mob, out of pure anger and rage.
verse 59...Stephen was calm. Why?
He was gazing at God and Jesus in Heaven.
(Ask yourself men...is this the courage you want for yourself? For your wife? For your children?)
Outside of Stephen, there was chaos! He was being killed, stoned...there was so much noise and anger and furry that he was hearing!
But inside Stephen, we see peace. He was gazing at Heaven. Stones are flying at him, pain inflicted...but he isn't distracted from the glory above Him.
Verse 55 and 56 is shown as that pillar of courage. Want to be strong guys? Want to be bold? There you go. This is how Stephen did it...this is how you can do it.
Stephen saw Jesus, and that brought Him peace...because this is what Jesus was to Stephen:
1-Our Reigning King
2-Our High Priest
3-Our Welcoming Witness
1) Stephen is showing that he is in the midst of our Reigning King through his stoning.
2) Stephen is saying we don't need a mediator down here anymore to get to Heaven. Heaven is here before me!
See, the Jews felt that a priest was necessary to present them to God in the temple. If the temple wasn't there, and if there was no priest to mediate them before God, then it was hopeless. Stephen is saying "That's not needed! Jesus is my High Priest, and I don't have to do anything!"
3) I didn't notice this before...but see that Jesus is standing by the Father. Don't we usually see Jesus sitting? What is being said here when Jesus is "standing" at the Father's right hand?
Witnesses in courts would stand in the presence of their client, or the person they were testifying for. That's what Jesus is doing here for Stephen. He is saying "I am your witness. Welcome home Stephen," and Stephen realized this.
What a story...what a message for Father's Day. Whether you are already a father, or are a soon-to-be or desiring-to-be dad, take heart in this message through Stephen. What about him can you take in order to be a father of great courage?
Have a blessed day! Give thanks for your father and Heaven Father and enjoy your earthly father while you still can.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Just Do It
I have finished my book, and soon to start another one I got from a friend. In as few words as possible, I want to sum up my lesson through this book, life, and God's Word.
Don't wait, just do it. God isn't going to give me a sign and a wonder...for a while I would read scriptures and say to myself "Wow, God did this, and I know He still can!" So I wait for it to happen. Yes, God can. He does...but why don't I see it now?
Romans 15:4 "For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."
We have the written Word of God before us to show us His power and majesty. Do we need signs and wonders? I believe that God, in His sovereignty, will use something amazing to shake us and make us move. God can do whatever God pleases to do. Who am I to command Him what to do with His power? We need to be careful to not put the Lord God to the test.
This next verse popped up for me within the last few days:
Micah 6:8 "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
God has shown me already what to do...so why should I sit and wait for God to verify something that He has already commanded of me through Scriptures? In your choices, no matter what they are, are you fulfilling what God actually wants of you?
So, back to my lesson...Don't wait, just do it. Every choice you come with, every "huge" decision in your life, evaluate it according to God's actual will for you. Will it mean loving your neighbor? Just do it. Will it bless others? Just do it. Will God's love shine through you? Man, just do it! Can you see yourself acting like Christ in this? Do it! Encourage others to do it if you can't. The apostles in Acts 6 were faced with a problem, but they didn't ignore it. Without giving up their calling, they appointed and called someone else to aid in the problem. If you are already consumed with a calling, seek others who can help. Encourage others to help meet the need. You don't have to do everything, and you aren't expected to. We are a Body of course (Ephesians 1:23 and Romans 12:5)
Don't expect Him to speak to you in a dream to do something. Don't expect Him to give you warm fuzzies, don't expect Him to move the mountains at your command. He can...don't limit God's abilities to speak to us. I'm just saying that I have shifted from expecting signs from God to admiring His promises already spoken to me in His Word. He has so much He wants you to know...and so much I've missed because of my warped mind-set.
Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't miss out on the beauty and value of the Scriptures as God's true Word to us. That's all we really need.
Don't wait, just do it. God isn't going to give me a sign and a wonder...for a while I would read scriptures and say to myself "Wow, God did this, and I know He still can!" So I wait for it to happen. Yes, God can. He does...but why don't I see it now?
Romans 15:4 "For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."
We have the written Word of God before us to show us His power and majesty. Do we need signs and wonders? I believe that God, in His sovereignty, will use something amazing to shake us and make us move. God can do whatever God pleases to do. Who am I to command Him what to do with His power? We need to be careful to not put the Lord God to the test.
This next verse popped up for me within the last few days:
Micah 6:8 "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
God has shown me already what to do...so why should I sit and wait for God to verify something that He has already commanded of me through Scriptures? In your choices, no matter what they are, are you fulfilling what God actually wants of you?
So, back to my lesson...Don't wait, just do it. Every choice you come with, every "huge" decision in your life, evaluate it according to God's actual will for you. Will it mean loving your neighbor? Just do it. Will it bless others? Just do it. Will God's love shine through you? Man, just do it! Can you see yourself acting like Christ in this? Do it! Encourage others to do it if you can't. The apostles in Acts 6 were faced with a problem, but they didn't ignore it. Without giving up their calling, they appointed and called someone else to aid in the problem. If you are already consumed with a calling, seek others who can help. Encourage others to help meet the need. You don't have to do everything, and you aren't expected to. We are a Body of course (Ephesians 1:23 and Romans 12:5)
Don't expect Him to speak to you in a dream to do something. Don't expect Him to give you warm fuzzies, don't expect Him to move the mountains at your command. He can...don't limit God's abilities to speak to us. I'm just saying that I have shifted from expecting signs from God to admiring His promises already spoken to me in His Word. He has so much He wants you to know...and so much I've missed because of my warped mind-set.
Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't miss out on the beauty and value of the Scriptures as God's true Word to us. That's all we really need.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Hidden Blessings
I hate watching people suffer and not being able to help them. I hate doing my best, and it's not good enough. I hate that feeling...I hate feeling like a failure.
At work recently, I have had 3 cases, 3 different people whom I have felt this way towards. For one lady, it was out of pure confusion and I just couldn't help redirect her back to reality. She was so set on her ways, and I wasn't able to help.
Another lady I've known a while, and have seen her to be this peppy, spunky, brilliant woman. Now, her disease has brought her to become this bed-bound, cynical, bitter, dirty mouth that won't accept anything from anyone. On occasion, this woman has called out everything I do for her as "bull shit" and sends me out of the room in a hurry. I want to help her, I want to bring her peace and a joyful spirit...but I can't, and I hate it!
One more individual I work with was just told of a chronic disease that no one can do anything about...and we just have to wait it out before his life is taken from it. This man is no doubt, one of my favorites. He is very independent and pleasant, but can have an attitude and temper like none other. He gives me a good laugh, and always has amazing stories to tell about where he's been.
Today, I sat with the latter two of these people. The lady's husband was here visiting, and I only prayed that he saw his wife in that cynical mess somewhere...he sat by her bed this afternoon, and their family told me that he is just at peace to see her and be with her. (God, please bless me with a man that will sit by my bed-side even when my mind has gone)
My other gentleman with the chronic disease came out to all my activities today, and after BINGO I sat briefly with him and asked how he was doing...he started to cry. I gave the man a hug...and almost started crying myself...because I couldn't help him. I couldn't do anything to save him...I had been in this mind-set all day, and it was getting to my interactions with my co-workers. This inability to help...this failure...was soaking into my attitude and lifestyle that others were seeing. Mel was concerned, and I swallowed pride and filled her in.
One song had been my prayer for a while..."Make Me a Blessing" Now, another song entered into my heart again that I needed to meditate on: "Count Your Blessings"
Obviously, this is something I struggle with..not being good enough and failure. God shook me and made me realize the little blessings in each day that I wasn't seeing because I was so absorbed on the failures.
When I told Mel about my struggle, another co-worker who worked on floor-care overheard me. She said "Well, I know one person's life you've really touched today..." She proceeded to tell me how that one gentleman (with chronic disease) was so uplifted to be out in the activities earlier that day, and how he was telling all the other staff about it. "I've never seen him get so excited and passionate about something like he did about the things you did with him today."
Thank you God. He is making me a blessing to someone, but instead of being burdened with a load of care, I should cast all cares unto God, because I know He cares for me and everyone I work with.
I know I want to succeed, and I want to be all the best I can be, but I take heart in knowing that I don't have to be perfect...I don't have to try and pretend to be the best ever...to God, I'm good enough, and He will use me to do what He wants me to do...and I need to remind myself that it's not everything.
I tend to overload myself, but I truly want to be a blessing to someone today. I want to pray for others to be blessed, and then ask God how I can do it. I have been given so many gifts and opportunities...how can I use them to help others?
I am single, young, healthy, and free. So many people don't have all of this...they don't have the time that I do because I'm single (I need to keep telling myself that this is a good thing for now). They don't have their health or their youth anymore...they are trapped and limited. How can I help them? I seek this out often...especially with people who aren't able to move around like they used to. It never seems like much, but I really encourage you all to seek out an elderly individual who may just need the door held open, or needs an extra arm to carry a few things to their car. It's such a blessing to them...be made a blessing today.
At work recently, I have had 3 cases, 3 different people whom I have felt this way towards. For one lady, it was out of pure confusion and I just couldn't help redirect her back to reality. She was so set on her ways, and I wasn't able to help.
Another lady I've known a while, and have seen her to be this peppy, spunky, brilliant woman. Now, her disease has brought her to become this bed-bound, cynical, bitter, dirty mouth that won't accept anything from anyone. On occasion, this woman has called out everything I do for her as "bull shit" and sends me out of the room in a hurry. I want to help her, I want to bring her peace and a joyful spirit...but I can't, and I hate it!
One more individual I work with was just told of a chronic disease that no one can do anything about...and we just have to wait it out before his life is taken from it. This man is no doubt, one of my favorites. He is very independent and pleasant, but can have an attitude and temper like none other. He gives me a good laugh, and always has amazing stories to tell about where he's been.
Today, I sat with the latter two of these people. The lady's husband was here visiting, and I only prayed that he saw his wife in that cynical mess somewhere...he sat by her bed this afternoon, and their family told me that he is just at peace to see her and be with her. (God, please bless me with a man that will sit by my bed-side even when my mind has gone)
My other gentleman with the chronic disease came out to all my activities today, and after BINGO I sat briefly with him and asked how he was doing...he started to cry. I gave the man a hug...and almost started crying myself...because I couldn't help him. I couldn't do anything to save him...I had been in this mind-set all day, and it was getting to my interactions with my co-workers. This inability to help...this failure...was soaking into my attitude and lifestyle that others were seeing. Mel was concerned, and I swallowed pride and filled her in.
One song had been my prayer for a while..."Make Me a Blessing" Now, another song entered into my heart again that I needed to meditate on: "Count Your Blessings"
Obviously, this is something I struggle with..not being good enough and failure. God shook me and made me realize the little blessings in each day that I wasn't seeing because I was so absorbed on the failures.
When I told Mel about my struggle, another co-worker who worked on floor-care overheard me. She said "Well, I know one person's life you've really touched today..." She proceeded to tell me how that one gentleman (with chronic disease) was so uplifted to be out in the activities earlier that day, and how he was telling all the other staff about it. "I've never seen him get so excited and passionate about something like he did about the things you did with him today."
Thank you God. He is making me a blessing to someone, but instead of being burdened with a load of care, I should cast all cares unto God, because I know He cares for me and everyone I work with.
I know I want to succeed, and I want to be all the best I can be, but I take heart in knowing that I don't have to be perfect...I don't have to try and pretend to be the best ever...to God, I'm good enough, and He will use me to do what He wants me to do...and I need to remind myself that it's not everything.
I tend to overload myself, but I truly want to be a blessing to someone today. I want to pray for others to be blessed, and then ask God how I can do it. I have been given so many gifts and opportunities...how can I use them to help others?
I am single, young, healthy, and free. So many people don't have all of this...they don't have the time that I do because I'm single (I need to keep telling myself that this is a good thing for now). They don't have their health or their youth anymore...they are trapped and limited. How can I help them? I seek this out often...especially with people who aren't able to move around like they used to. It never seems like much, but I really encourage you all to seek out an elderly individual who may just need the door held open, or needs an extra arm to carry a few things to their car. It's such a blessing to them...be made a blessing today.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
God's Will
I said that I would wait until I finished my recent reading to blog about it, but I really can't. I feel that this hurdle was such a huge one for me to jump that I really need to share this with everyone (there goes Kat's passion again...watch out world!)
I want to tell you all what God's will for your life is. Yes, I know what it is. And guess what...it has everything to do with where you will work, where you will live, and yes...even who you will marry. Trust me, this is huge.
I will give you four points explaining God's will for us.
1) That we live holy, set-apart lives (I Thess. 4:3)
2) That we always rejoice, pray, and give thanks (I Thess. 5:16-18)
3) That we are to bear fruit and know Him better (Col. 1:9-12)
4) That we are filled with the Holy Spirit (Eph. 5:17)
There you have it! God's will.
"But what does this have to do with your points above about who I will marry and where I should live?"
Well I'm glad you asked! It has nothing to do with those questions, but it has everything to do with it as well. You see, God doesn't care about the details of our choices as much as He does about us as His children. If you look up those verses, can you see that all those points are focused on us rather than the world? God's will is reflective most in us, rather than where we are. To quote my book, "God's will consists of living a sober life, living in the power of the Holy Spirit, and offering praise & gratitude to God for His goodness."
There is no divine message needed. God's will means "we bear fruit, grow in understanding of God, are strengthened with power unto patience, and joyfully give thanks to the Father." It doesn't matter so much what I do, where I live, who I marry...as long as I am becoming more like Christ through everything I am doing. If I choose to stay in Waverly IA all my life, I better do it to become holy. If I marry a man around here, I better marry him to become more holy. If I work at Western Home forever and ever, I better be doing it so I can become more holy. The Father wants us to be like His Son. So, I don't take this as I can do anything I want...but I feel that any choice I make has to reflect these aspects. If not, it's not God's will.
Because really, is little me going to ruin the master gameplan of our Creator? Am I great enough to make a "wrong choice?" Not at all! My fear has held me back from making the "right" choices. From loving my neighbor unconditionally. From living my dreams while I am in my gift of singleness. From taking a chance in life! God will close doors, because I've seen Him do it quick.
So friends, please pick up and read Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung. It is a book I needed to read, and even if you think you've got God's will all figured out, you don't. I don't...but I understand it much better than I did before.
The big question I reflect on is toward my single friends...especially you guys out there. We want "the right girl" or "the right guy." Some of you are waiting for that magic feeling that says "That's her." You may not get it...or worse yet...you do and you talk yourself out of it. Guys, you're the ones we want to lead us closer to Christ. You're the ones we want to stand under and support. At least for me now, I want my man to take the first step because if I do, I'm pulling the reigns in the relationship. We really want you to. You gotta take a chance...please.
I long for everyone to feel deep intimate love that will last. No divorce, no more affairs, no more prostitution. What man and woman should be should reflect Christ and us...
So guys, Christ pursued us. Christ did not sit back, he gave up everything for us. He wasn't held back. He wasn't afraid. He didn't hesitate. He trusted His Father. We are waiting for strong and brave men to pursue us. If you are waiting for a "feeling" or because of a "feeling," stop it. I don't want a boy...I want a man of God. If you see a girl that you can see yourself being more holy with, what is holding you back? God's will includes your continuous change to be more like Christ. If you see a woman before you to fulfill this will, GO FOR IT! What is so wrong about that? Sorry for my urgency, but I really want you all to be blessed...not just myself. If fear or uncertainty is holding you back...please shake it. For your own blessings to come...shake it men. If this wakes up my husband, then so be it. If not, that's okay too. If it wakes up someone, then I will feel blessed to have been used in that manner.
"He's calling you, please answer. He's pulling you, please move. Jesus wants you to take this chance. I know you'll be great at what He calls you to do." -from "He's Calling You" by Me.
"Until that day, until you're heart can see that you and I were planned to be...here I'll wait. Here I'll wait, for you." -from "Here I Wait" by Me.
I love you all.
I want to tell you all what God's will for your life is. Yes, I know what it is. And guess what...it has everything to do with where you will work, where you will live, and yes...even who you will marry. Trust me, this is huge.
I will give you four points explaining God's will for us.
1) That we live holy, set-apart lives (I Thess. 4:3)
2) That we always rejoice, pray, and give thanks (I Thess. 5:16-18)
3) That we are to bear fruit and know Him better (Col. 1:9-12)
4) That we are filled with the Holy Spirit (Eph. 5:17)
There you have it! God's will.
"But what does this have to do with your points above about who I will marry and where I should live?"
Well I'm glad you asked! It has nothing to do with those questions, but it has everything to do with it as well. You see, God doesn't care about the details of our choices as much as He does about us as His children. If you look up those verses, can you see that all those points are focused on us rather than the world? God's will is reflective most in us, rather than where we are. To quote my book, "God's will consists of living a sober life, living in the power of the Holy Spirit, and offering praise & gratitude to God for His goodness."
There is no divine message needed. God's will means "we bear fruit, grow in understanding of God, are strengthened with power unto patience, and joyfully give thanks to the Father." It doesn't matter so much what I do, where I live, who I marry...as long as I am becoming more like Christ through everything I am doing. If I choose to stay in Waverly IA all my life, I better do it to become holy. If I marry a man around here, I better marry him to become more holy. If I work at Western Home forever and ever, I better be doing it so I can become more holy. The Father wants us to be like His Son. So, I don't take this as I can do anything I want...but I feel that any choice I make has to reflect these aspects. If not, it's not God's will.
Because really, is little me going to ruin the master gameplan of our Creator? Am I great enough to make a "wrong choice?" Not at all! My fear has held me back from making the "right" choices. From loving my neighbor unconditionally. From living my dreams while I am in my gift of singleness. From taking a chance in life! God will close doors, because I've seen Him do it quick.
So friends, please pick up and read Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung. It is a book I needed to read, and even if you think you've got God's will all figured out, you don't. I don't...but I understand it much better than I did before.
The big question I reflect on is toward my single friends...especially you guys out there. We want "the right girl" or "the right guy." Some of you are waiting for that magic feeling that says "That's her." You may not get it...or worse yet...you do and you talk yourself out of it. Guys, you're the ones we want to lead us closer to Christ. You're the ones we want to stand under and support. At least for me now, I want my man to take the first step because if I do, I'm pulling the reigns in the relationship. We really want you to. You gotta take a chance...please.
I long for everyone to feel deep intimate love that will last. No divorce, no more affairs, no more prostitution. What man and woman should be should reflect Christ and us...
So guys, Christ pursued us. Christ did not sit back, he gave up everything for us. He wasn't held back. He wasn't afraid. He didn't hesitate. He trusted His Father. We are waiting for strong and brave men to pursue us. If you are waiting for a "feeling" or because of a "feeling," stop it. I don't want a boy...I want a man of God. If you see a girl that you can see yourself being more holy with, what is holding you back? God's will includes your continuous change to be more like Christ. If you see a woman before you to fulfill this will, GO FOR IT! What is so wrong about that? Sorry for my urgency, but I really want you all to be blessed...not just myself. If fear or uncertainty is holding you back...please shake it. For your own blessings to come...shake it men. If this wakes up my husband, then so be it. If not, that's okay too. If it wakes up someone, then I will feel blessed to have been used in that manner.
"He's calling you, please answer. He's pulling you, please move. Jesus wants you to take this chance. I know you'll be great at what He calls you to do." -from "He's Calling You" by Me.
"Until that day, until you're heart can see that you and I were planned to be...here I'll wait. Here I'll wait, for you." -from "Here I Wait" by Me.
I love you all.
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