To everyone that has already done so, thank you for the birthday wishes! I really appreciate it, and would like to take a few moments in this post to reflect on my 24th year and the blessings I've had...
Over this last year, I look back and see so many tragic moments in my heart where I've struggled and fought with God over what in the world He wants me to do. So many nights where I've been brought to tears because of uncertainty of direction and unanswered prayers...or so I thought...
God has blessed me beyond belief, and I am taken back at how He has answered the little prayers as well as the big ones.
I've prayed for boldness, and have seen God give me strength to stand out in public with my views and faith. More than normal.
I've prayed for a revelation in my desires, and God opened a door to go back to school.
He has closed doors that I've wanted and shown me there are greater doors and blessings waiting for me.
I've prayed for many little things that God has answered by giving me less to admire the daily needs much more.
That last one really amazes me. I have had more peace this last month in not having as much for me...and seeing how God has given me exactly what I need every day.
I want to share an embarrassing but amazing revelation that happened recently to me...
Last Sunday it snowed. It was so amazing and pretty, I was taken back by it. So much, that I left my purse in my apartment and left everything in it. I was stuck outside with no car keys, no apartment key, and no phone. I will admit, I was a little stressed, but not to the point of tears (which has been my normal). I found myself calmly finding a way to fix this, or at least get to the church and go from there.
My day had gone instantly from having it all planned out and taken care of, to living moment by moment. I would think "Okay God, I'm hear right now, but I don't know how I'm going to get to the next thing after this...I'll just have to worry about it when it's time to. I can't do anything about it now."
It was amazing. As crazy as it was, it was so great to sit back and say "God, I don't know when and how I'll get in my home, but you do and I will be okay." When I did get back in, I started to cry and thank God for the blessings I have in my friends and activities.
My heart has been humbled and broken down little by little to see my need for God over the stuff in my life. It makes me wonder what God has in store for me this next year and the years to come...if He is preparing me to be satisfied with less and less, I do worry (at times it worries me) about where He is taking me, but I know my heart will continue to change for the purpose God has for me.
You are all a blessing to me, and I thank you so much for making this last year so amazing. We serve such a great God who holds us in the palm of His hand, who knows us so personally, and who establishes our steps before us.
May you feel the peace that God has shown me, and find the contentment in where you are as God has reminded me very often (because I need to be frequently reminded).
I love you all. God bless, and thanks again for a wonderful year!
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