2012: Normal's Not Cutting It Anymore

The following are sections of books I am engrossed in right now.  Ponder the message and challenge within these statements.  Would you dare this?

"We have a choice.  We can settle for casual devotion to Jesus, sitting comfortably in our nice church buildings, where we are insulated and isolated from the inner city and the spiritual lostness of the world.  We can give a tip of our hats to the purpose of Christ in the world while we go on designing endless activities that revolve around us.  We can retreat into our nice, cozy communities where we can live nice, decent lives while we pretend the starving millions do not exist.  We can hide behind our catchy phrases and our easy prayers that dilute the awesome reality of who Jesus is and what it means to follow him.  We can spend our Christian lives sitting comfortably in the nurseries of our churches while drinking spiritual milk. 

Or we can decide that Jesus is worth more than this.  We can decide that he has created us for a much greater purpose.  We can decide to die to ourselves and our dreams and our plans, and we can decide to let our hearts be conquered by a superior ambition.  Ultimately, we can decide to sacrifice our lives, our gifts, our skills, our time, our families, and our resources to make the great worth of Christ known amid urgent spiritual and physical needs in all the world.  Here's what I want to say to my brothers and sisters in America: let's sacrifice it all!  For the glory of Christ among a billion people who have not even heard the gospel...

For the sake of men, women, and children who are starving, suffering, and dying every single day...

For the millions in your city and my city who do not know Christ and are headed for a Christless eternity...

For ourselves, for our churches, for our families, for our children who will come behind us.  For all of this and more, let's sacrifice it all!"  

The Radical Question, What is Jesus Worth to You?

"If you let him, if you choose not to coast along the world's wide-open road but rather to blaze a narrow trail with Jesus as your guide, then you'll never settle for normal again.  You'll want only one thing.  The God kind of weird." 

Weird

Profile of the obsessed: 
"People who are obsessed with Jesus:

• Aren't consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. 
• Give freely and openly.
• Live lives that connect them with the poor in some way or another.
• Are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status quo.
• Knows that the sin of pride is always a battle.
• Do not consider service a burden.
• Are known as givers, not takers.
• Thinks about heaven frequently.
• Is characterized by committed, settled, passionate love for God, above and before every other thing and every other being.
• Are raw with God.
• Have an intimate relationship with Him.
• Is more concerned with  his or her character than comfort.
• Knows that the best thing he can do is be faithful to his Savior in every aspect of his life, continually saying 'Thank You!'"

Crazy Love 

As 2012 comes closer, I am given a heavy challenge on my heart from God.  These statements all hit me at roughly the same time.  God wants me to give Him everything: my time, money, energy, attention, love, body....everything!  In Acts, that's how the Church functioned.  We all have different gifts, and with each part of the church body working together, we can function the way God intended.  I want to see our churches working together, collaborating our gifts together so the Church body goes somewhere.  If we all sit still, nothing is going to happen.  I want us to get out of our comfortable church building, financial security, ignorant lifestyle and take a chance!  God calls us to take a chance!  If He wants us to take a risk, we need to trust Him!  Normal isn't working anymore.  Normal has taken us to be safe, comfortable, and dependent on man.  Our Church needs weird.  In 2012, I want to see weird.  I want to live crazy.  I want to be a radical like Jesus told me to be.  I want people to turn their heads and wonder what is wrong with me.  I want them to see how my 'reckless' lifestyle is actually more peaceful then theirs.  I want to live as if Heaven starts tomorrow.  My life means nothing without Christ, and I want people to see what they are missing and what God really provides. 

This is my passion for the coming year.  Don't just read this and consider it.  Join me.  Take a risk.  Let 2012 begin a new direction for our Church: a narrow path full of uncertainty and peace that surpasses all understanding.

Give This Christmas Away

There are only a couple days left til Christmas. 

You know...when we were younger, we were so excited about the stuff.  The bigger the present, the more excited I got!  I would even get sneaky and try to peak at my presents without damaging the wrapping. 

Now, I could care less what I get...in fact I would be content if I didn't get anything from anyone.  Isn't that strange how our hearts change?  Or, isn't that how it should be?  I know people around me who are older than me and are still worried about the stuff of Christmas.  How do we change from this?  How do we have more contentment with Christmas? 

First off, we need to really understand that we love Christmas because of God's gift to the world...His Son, which led to our eternal salvation and assurance of where we will be after this life. 

Second, by knowing this we need to understand what pleases God.  We need to accept this gift...but how do we really accept this gift from God?  Francis Chan's whole idea in his book Crazy Love is how we can really fall in love with God again.  Our attitudes are so robotic...how do we really look like we love our God?   I found a couple examples of how we can please God this holiday season.

Hebrews 13:16 says, "And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased."

Colossians 1:10 says, "And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God."

Proverbs 3:34 says, "He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble."

Reflect on these verses and let God tell you what this means to you this holiday season.  Don't miss His instruction and direction.  For me, it meant to make numerous home-made gifts this year and give every bit of it away...much of it to people I don't even know.  It was encouraging to have others join me in this and allow them the delight in giving beyond the norm this holiday season as well.  What does this mean for you?  What are you willing to do?  If we all just gave this Christmas away, what would that look like? 

I heard this song on the radio after I made my choice this holiday season, and it was God letting me know "You've got it." 

What if I told you?
You have the power
To give someone hope
Far beyond their wildest dreams
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricenter.com/e56544-matthew_west~give_this_christmas_away_lyrics.html ]
What if I told you it's right there in your hands?
In your hands

It's hard to imagine
How something so small
Can make all the difference
Tear down the tallest wall

What if December looked different this year?
What if we all just

Give this Christmas away
If there's love in your heart
Don't let it stay there
Give this Christmas away
And your life will be changed
By the gift you receive
When you give this Christmas away

It's feeding the hungry
It's serving the poor
It's telling the orphan
You're not forgotten anymore

It's doing what love does
Even when no one's watching you

Give this Christmas away
If there's love in your heart
Don't let it stay there
Give this Christmas away
And your life will be changed
By the gift you receive
When you give this Christmas away

For God so loved the world, He gave His only son
So we could be His hands, His feet, His love
His love

What if I told you?
You have the power
To give someone hope
Far beyond their wildest dreams

What if December looked different this year?
What if we all just

Give this Christmas away
If there's love in your heart
Don't let it stay there
Give this Christmas away
And your life will be changed
By the gift you receive
When you give this Christmas away
Give this Christmas away
You have the power
Just give it away

Merry Christmas, and God Bless.  

Living Recklessly

I am, for lack of better terms, intoxicated with the teachings of Francis Chan right now.  God has been opening my eyes to be seeing like this man is speaking.  As I read a chapter tonight, I kept underlining and commenting in the margins...I want to quote a few sections that I probably could have highlighted in 5 different colors...this is all from his 7th chapter of Crazy Love, "your best life...later":

"Having faith often means doing what others see as crazy.  Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers."

"If we allow ourselves to live recklessly for Him, then we, too, will see His glory.  We will see Him do the impossible.  Christians today like to play it safe.  We want to put ourselves in situations where we are safe 'even if there is no God.'  But if we truly desire to please God, we cannot live that way.  We have to do things that cost us during our life on earth but will be more than worth it in eternity."

"When it's hard and you are doubtful, give more."

"Pride tells you that you've sacrificed more than others.  Fear tells you it's time to worry about the future." 

"Jesus was forcing His disciples to trust Him.  God would have to come through for them because they had nothing else to fall back on.  This place of trust isn't a comfortable place to be; in fact, it flies in the face of everything we've been taught about proper planning.  We like finding refuge in what we already have rather than in what we hope God will provide.  But when Christ says to count the cost of following Him, it means we must surrender everything.  It means being willing to go without an extra runic or a place to sleep at night, and sometimes without knowing where we are going."  (Amen!  This is a way to live!)

"But God doesn't call us to be comfortable.  He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through."

"The thing that matters most is how we use what we have been given, not how much we make or do compared to someone else.  What matters is that we spend ourselves." 

Today, I talked with my coworkers about our weekends.  I shared that my church small group/prayer group had come to deliver Christmas cards that we made.  I remember the expression on my co-worker's face when I told her how sick the 2nd floor was...and that it didn't stop us.  She was shocked that the nurses let us even come to that floor.  I was almost scolded for being so reckless...but I sit here still unharmed with the flu.  You know why?  Because my God is bigger than any flu bug, and He can keep me healthy.  There is no way in the world I couldn't have gotten it with all the exposure I've had to it...but God is amazing! 

I want to be able to walk down a dark alley alone and know God is protecting me.  If He called me to walk alone in a risky trailer park, I want to trust Him to keep me safe.  I want people to look at me as "reckless" as long as I am doing it for God's glory.  I don't know what God is preparing for me, but the more I reflect on where I have been, the more excited I get for where I'm going to go next! 

Are you willing to risk it all for God?  Are you willing to give of your gifts and talents to a flu-infested environment?  How about to strangers in an area you've never been before?  Would you take the call to love on people this holiday season that need extra loving?  If you answer the call, God will get you through it.  You have nothing to fear when you know that the worst possible outcome is that you come out clean and live another day down here on earth...the best outcome is your Heavenly Father takes you home into His presence.  With an ending like that, how can you say no? 

"If we allow ourselves to live recklessly for Him, then we, too, will see His glory.  We will see Him do the impossible."   Take a chance of faith today. 

John 14

 "Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God, trust also in me."

Dear Heavenly Father,


Use me.

Show me where to go.

Thank you for being "The way, the truth, and the life."

"If you love me, you will obey what I command."  Help me obey God...grant me courage and discernment to know which voice I need to obey.

I ask for faith that can make a difference..."I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing.  He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."

In your name, I make my requests: "And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.  You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."

Thank you for preparing a place for ME.  So I can be in your presence...I am floored Jesus that you want me.  Thank you.

May we all feel your love and peace this holiday season...and not just keep it to ourselves.  Let us share it with everyone around us!  When we find you, let us give away what we need to to keep it.  May others find this joy this season:  "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Give joy, peace, and love away today....and all the days to come.  God bless.

24 Years

24 years ago, my mother was delivering her 3rd child. 
I was at that point, known to the world as Katherine Elizabeth Bell. 

Before that, I was an idea.  I was a fetus, a no name.  No one knew what I would become.  My parents had dreams and ideas, but they really didn't know what life that little baby was going to hold.  They didn't know where that precious girl was going to end up, where she was going to travel to. 

24 years later, that girl sits at her computer in Waverly IA with a heart that has been completely changed.  She is no longer a girl, but a woman.  A woman dedicated to letting her life go.  A woman that reflects on where she's been, but is very excited and oblivious to where she is going to be a year from now.  Who would have thought 24 years ago that precious baby girl would turn into the woman she is today?  Who knew this in advance? 

Only the One who made her perfect in His sight.  The only one who made her pure again because of His Son.  She's not perfect...the potter is continuously molding this piece of clay.  There are still some rough spots to soften and smooth out.  He keeps working on them.  This clay jar becomes more beautiful and usable each passing year.

Thank you God for blessing me with 24 years of life.  Thank you for the memories and experiences in those 24 years to make me the woman I am today.  If it weren't for you, I don't know where I would be...but it wouldn't be here.  I will continually live my future years for your glory as best as I can.  I don't know what the future holds, but I know that you knew my plans before I was born.  I trust you, and am excited to see what this coming year unfolds for my 24th year of life. 

I love you Father.  Thanks for letting your daughter live a life that's indescribable. 

Women...Honestly?

Yes, two posts in one day, but my other post had nothing to do with this and I didn't feel like these were two topics to connect in one post...

Tonight I had heard a comment that made me slightly ticked. 

A young couple had been together for some time now, but the women had told her boyfriend, "If we aren't engaged by this time, I am going to break up with you." 

Ladies...since when did we feel it was a good idea to take such a stand against our men?  When was it OUR call?  To me, I felt "okay, if she's flinging this around, what's to say she won't fling divorce papers later?"  Doesn't sound like true love to me...because doesn't the Bible say "love is patient...love is kind?"  

1) If you loved your boyfriend, you'd wait as long as it took and would be content in that. 
2) When do we have that authority? 

It's hard to take this stand in a society where women are being so empowering.  We want to rise up and take charge and show the men around that we can do everything they can do too.  But the reality of this ladies is our men are being intimidated and actually stepping down from their roles because of us.  I am not saying we aren't better...I'm saying we need to back off. 

Eve took a stand and told Adam what to do.  Adam was intimidated, and obeyed her.  Outcome?  Sin was born. 

Sarai (Sarah) took a stand with Abram (Abraham) and told him to sleep with her maidservant Hagar.  She was promised a child, but saw no answer fast enough to satisfy her...so she took matters into her own hands.  Abram stepped down and obeyed her...Hagar was born a son, but abuse and rejection followed that because of Sarai's hasty and authoritative decision. 

Rachel had a moment where Jacob's other wife, Leah, was bearing children while Rachel remained barren.  In her frustration, she approaches Jacob and says, "Give me children, or I'll die!"  Now finally I see a man stepping back up and rebuking saying, "Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?"    It wasn't until later when it reads in Genesis 30:22 "Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and opened her womb." 

Lot's wife was so consumed with her luxuries that she turned to a pile of salt because she couldn't obey and listen to the men around her. 

In Judges we see Deborah and Barak.  Deborah asks Barak to lead the army to victory, but Barak was intimidated and would not do it alone.  Because of this, the victory would rest in the hands of a woman.  Guys, yes we can be intimidating at times...and we may be called to roles like Deborah had, but what she did was noble.  She gave a man the opportunity to lead.  Ladies, are we quick to provide this encouragement and opportunity for the men, or do we just do it ourselves because we are able to? 


For examples of women who had it right, read about:
Ruth
Esther (7:1-6)
Abigail (I Samuel 25)
The Virtuous Wife (Proverbs 31:10-31)

Ladies, we have so much worth to us.  I am not saying we aren't good enough...for we were created because "it is not good for man to be alone."  We are needed by the men around us, and they are needed by us.  It is not our place to take authority from them, for we see what happens when we do. 

We are instructed numerous times through Paul to submit to our husbands.  Let's begin to practice that today.  Join me ladies in encouraging our men to stand back up and lead while we support and encourage them with all the love we can. 

Filthy Rags

Tonight while I was sitting and reading Crazy Love by Fancis Chan, I came across a new perspective. 

(I will be slightly graphic, so if you are uncomfortable with graphic discussion I advice you to keep reading because it's an accurate realization.  I am not ashamed to say it this way) 

Isaiah 64:6 reads "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away." 

...all our righteous acts are like filthy rags...nothing we do can cover up the filth that is sin in our lives. 

I have had friends come up to me and argue "I just can't believe a God would be loving enough to send a good person to Hell."  Who are we to make that judgment call?  As God tells Job throughout the last few chapters of his book...we don't even measure up to that position of authority. 

"As it is written: 'There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.  All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.'" Romans 3:10-12
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

We are all filthy.  Just how filthy?? 

Francis compared "filthy rags" to menstral garments...tampons or pads in our time today. 

Let me ask you something...(ladies mostly, but guys pay attention)...would you use a tampon if it had even a speck of menstral on it?  Of course not!  That's so gross!  yuck...why would I put someone else's filth....menstral inside me??

No matter the sin, it stains us like menstral on a tampon.  After even a speck is put on it, it has lost its use.  So is sin on our hearts in God's eyes.  One lie taints us forever.  One little theft has created a speck.  It's sick to us to think of menstrating everywhere, but for God to think of sin is just as gross to Him.  We need to look at His perspective as best as we are able to. 

So, for those of you that keep questioning God's love in sending "good" people to Hell, instead reflect on His love for you in sparing you that fate.  We all have menstration on our hearts.  Our sin is SICK to God....but he paid the price to clean that bloody mess from our tampons.  Thank Him for that.  Instead of get upset at why "good" people are cast out, praise God that He saved you!  Our tampons are clean and usable because of Jesus.  As gross as that analogy is, it puts my mind in perspective to where God is coming from.  God is loving to save me...and because of Him I can be used instead of thrown away. 

Thank God for using you.  Not as a tampon, but as His beloved child.  We are precious in His sight and worthy of His presence because of Jesus...and that's the only way we can get the menstral out of our lives.  I don't care how "good" you are...without Jesus we all have the same fate. 

Breath of Heaven

Each Christmas season, I think about the gift we receive that is our Savior Jesus Christ...but I also think about how it came to be that this gift could come to us.  Now, I'm not Catholic, but I feel Mary's situation needs to be considered.  I love Mary, mother of Jesus.  When she was conceived with the Divine Spirit, she was only a teenager...about 15. 

15!!!   Now I know there are shows out there that really elaborate on topics like unusual pregnancies...but this still blows my mind.  When I was 15, I wouldn't have even THOUGHT about having a child...let alone the perfect child of God. 

Can you picture Mary when the angel told her this amazing news?  Do you realize what she went through with her family and fiance when she was conceived?  Joseph almost left her because he thought she wasn't faithful.  Her family and neighbors looked down on her because she was pregnant...which meant she had sex and broke the covenant she made with Joseph as his fiance.  They couldn't believe this...they probably wouldn't. 

Okay...and I worry about my problems today?  I worry about getting everything done to the point where I am overwhelmed and stuttering in everything I do.  I fear not getting things done right...I fear what man thinks of me.  Mary sacrificed so much...including her reputation. 

I heard this song today at work, which put me back into this mindset of Christmas.  God has it all together...and sometimes in our hustle and bustle...we need to step back and breathe deep...really calm down and feel God's breath from heaven. 

I try, but it's not hard for me to be overwhelmed...oh how much I just want to nod and do what I'm told, but I sigh and make a brief scene so you can all pity me.  God wouldn't choose me to bear His Holy Child.   So, as this holiday season comes closer and my life gets busier because of it, I will step back and celebrate the real reason for Christmas...that we were blessed to have the Christ-child among us to provide a way for us to be with our eternal Father.  Mary was a special woman.  Put yourself in her position (guys it's hard I know...but try) and tell yourself if your sufferings are so bad anymore? 

I have traveled many moonless nights,
Cold and weary with a babe inside,
And I wonder what I've done.
Holy father you have come,
And chosen me now to carry your son.

I am waiting in a silent prayer.
I am frightened by the load I bear.
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now.
Be with me now.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.

Do you wonder as you watch my face,
If a wiser one should have had my place,
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan.
Help me be strong.
Help me be.
Help me.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.

It's Okay, It's Clean...Pure

Does God change His mind?  How does me make you change yours?  Would you believe that God can tell you something now and then change it later?  Isn't God supposed to be unchangeable?

Yes, and He is.  So...why the change in messages?  Let me reflect on something that I was really hit with during the Bible study I'm part of Sunday nights. 

Acts 11:9  "The voice spoke from heaven a second time, 'Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.'"

Here's a little back story:
Peter saw a vision from God:
A large sheet came from heaven and on it where animals that were considered 'unclean.'  God says to eat it and Peter refuses (honoring the laws that we can read about in Leviticus).  Verse 9 is the response to Peter's refusal. 
The meaning of this vision, as Peter explains later in the chapter, shows that the Gentiles should also be hearing the Gospel message and that they weren't to be considered "unclean" or "impure" in hearing the good news. 

Although this is a powerful message we all need to remember in our lives, I want to take of part of this idea and elaborate on it...why did Peter say "No" to God in this vision?  Was Peter being stubborn?  Did Peter doubt? 

We have seen mighty happenings occur through this bold man...I don't feel Peter was any of these things.  Peter thought he was being obedient.  God had ordained a law, and Peter was following it.  It appears that Peter was so stuck on the law that he didn't see past the obvious right away; he was engrossed in what God had instructed him before that he didn't see the new thing God was telling him right away.  God appeared to be telling him "eat this" when really he was saying "It's okay, it's clean...pure." 

I believe God can do this for us.  He can hold us off from something...but it doesn't mean "No, never."  Jesus was known as the King of the Jews, but the Gospel was meant for more than the Jewish population.  His direction changed, not His plan. 

God may have told you to wait or take a different route, which may have had you interpret that answer as "No, never," when really He was saying "No, not now."  Well my friends, are you able to hear God tell you when something goes from unclean to clean?  Are you hearing God say "It's okay, it's clean...pure?"  I believe the laws in Leviticus were written not just for pure obedience...but for health reasons as well.  There was a purpose for those laws that made sense in those days.  As time went on and civilization advanced, some of those laws weren't necessary.  The direction changed.  The plan was still in working progress. 

Stop and pray about anything God may be trying to catch your attention with, and ask Him to help you understand the new things He is sharing with you.  I had been asking God to make sense of a few things in my life, and the following passage has come up to me supernaturally.  So, I broke it up and interpreted it by sections based on the direction God is taking me now.  Maybe my answers fell between the lines.

Either way, ask God to show you what you may be able to pursue now that you couldn't before.  Ask Him to reveal to you the things that are pure now that weren't pure before.  Don't let the stubbornness of "Well, God said this first!" keep you from advancing in your faith and receiving His beautiful blessings. 
  
Psalm 23

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want...
There is only you Heavenly Father...I am your sheep in need of leading
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul...
You captivate me by the wonders you show me in your creation...it fills my heart and energizes me.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake...
You bring me to crossroads and instruct me of the right way...the way that is pleasing to you
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me...
If you are for me, who can be against me?  I walk down paths that seem hopeless and I can't see the end...but I'm not afraid.  The evil one is on pursuit...but I will not be scared...for you are with me. 
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies...
You supply for me and protect me in the face on danger...I am taken care of in the midst of temptation and trials
You anoint my head with oil...
You anoint me with your Holy Spirit...you have anointed me with a purpose, and in due time will it be revealed...I am being prepared for it in everything you bring me to.
My cup overflows...
You give to those who ask for more until they overflow with your words, mercy and love. 
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life...
Despite everything else going on, all I need is your goodness and love in my life.  I am blessed to have that.
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."
I will forever be in your presence when my days down here are done...I can't wait...
  

What am I truly Thankful for?

I celebrated Thanksgiving at my aunt and uncle's in Ida Grove today.  All the guys went downstairs to watch football on my uncle's projection TV in his "man cave" while us ladies stayed upstairs and shared fun coffee ideas...then we experimented.  My aunt has a mini version of an espresso machine with steaming wand.  I had made some whip cream that was intended to be put on the dessert...but it didn't go there! 

We made so many concoctions with my almond-flavored whipped cream on top...and it was amazing!  Such a good time!  We sat down with our drinks and watched a movie or two until the guys came up from their game. 

I will admit, there were times when I dreaded family times because I felt like my life was so far from theirs...I felt like I couldn't connect or that I was just there to be there...I wasn't part of anything.  I see a huge difference in my relations with everyone as this last year progressed...which encourages me that what happened last year was a God thing.  I see blessings in my healed relationships in my family. 

At one point, I looked outside and saw a beautiful sunset progressing...I was so blessed.  I felt so blessed to be here.  God deserves the praise in everything I have.  He deserves the praise in everything that I will be going through.  He deserves the praise with my life in general. 

In this time of thanksgiving, I hope to be even closer to God...I hope to be quieting my life so I can hear Him speak more to me.  I hope to be obedient and reflect the woman in Proverbs 31.  I want to be hard-working.  I want to be intelligent in my choices.  I want to fear God above all else and not care what my appearance should be based on social standards. 


Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for everything you give me.  Thank you for a family who is so willing to help me, thank you for the privilege that I have to be your daughter.  Thank you for using me.  I couldn't do anything alone, and I need you to be the air I breathe.  I need you to be my lover, and I your beloved.  I need you to be my Father.  I need you to be my King.  Thank you for hearing my prayers Lord.  Help me remember to be humbled in my low position compared to you and not to command you to do anything.  Who am I to tell the Creator what to do?   I don't even deserve to come before your very presence...but thanks for making that possible through your Son, Jesus Christ.  It is through His name that great and amazing things happens before us today.  It is through His name that we receive power through your Holy Spirit.  It is through His name that hearts are changed and relationships begin.  It is through His name and obedience to your will that we have a home in Heaven waiting for us.  Thank you. 

If the grace of God doesn't make you feel thankful this holiday season, shouldn't you be asking yourself why that's the case?  Why isn't that in your hearts?  God is real.  His presence is real.  His Word is true, and His intervention in our lives is no joke or hallucination...or even coincidence.  If you don't believe me, ask Him to show Himself in all His glory in your lives.  God won't hesitate...He wants to know you and if you are seeking Him with all your heart...He will meet you there. 

So ask Him...I dare you.  Ask Him to do the impossible.  Ask Him to show His glory so you may grow stronger in your faith with Him.  Seeing isn't always believing...sometimes you need to believe it before you see it. 

Thanksgiving Reflection Time

As Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself thinking about this last year...I remember a year ago now I was getting more acquainted with people at Grace, I was pushing through a full-time internship and an almost full-time job...and I was hit with a devastating break-up.  It was hard for me to find things to be thankful for...but somehow I did see a brightness in that break-up.  It was the start of something...that moment started my growth in a whole new way.  It changed my perspective on the bad things that happen to me.  God was loving, but His love doesn't just come in what we picture as His blessings.  In fact, I realized how fast I clung to God when I went through this.  I didn't have time to cry.  I didn't have time to vacate from life.  Life was still happening rapidly, and my life outside my personal life showed no mercy on me.  I needed God to get me through it, and He showed me just what I could do when He took my heart back. 

Gradually, He had been taking my heart back more and more.  Hosea's picture in chapter 2 took my breath away... "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her."  God wanted to allure me.  God wanted to speak tenderly to me after the one thing I really clung to was taken from me (yes...I will admit my relationship ran my life over God).  It ruled my life.  I based my life on that relationship...and I needed to be cut from it. 

The story of Ruth had changed with me as well, and here were the main themes that I had gone through with Ruth:

-A love story based on boldness in initiation
-A love story based on waiting and trusting
-A love story based on loyalty and devotion to loved ones and God

All these were points I saw with Ruth...but the bottom line reflects on that last point I made.  Yes she was bold...yes she trusted and waited...but it's because she was loyal to the person that told her to.  Naomi had told her to "uncover Boaz's feet."  Naomi told Ruth to "wait until you find out what happens."  Ruth followed Naomi after her husband had passed away, saying "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.  Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God...."  She says more along these lines...THAT is loyalty.  She loved Naomi and Naomi's God. 

What does that mean for me?  What has God really been doing within me this last year when it came to my devastation and growth from it?  How am I still the Ruth character in this love story God is writing for me? 

Basically, I need to love God.  I need to be loyal to God above all else, even if it means leaving the area I am comfortable with.  If He really means that much to me, I would give up everything like Ruth did to follow Naomi and serve God.  I need to give my heart up to God continuously and stop trying to put it into other guys' hands.  I need to let my true Kinsman-Redeemer give it away when it's the right time.  "Wait until you find out what happens.  For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today."  God will give my heart to a man who is looking up to receive it.  If he is looking up and searching for it through God, He will grant it. 

In the mean time, God is showing me some amazing things that I wouldn't see if I was so intoxicated with a relationship like I had.  God knows when my heart will be ready to be handed off into the arms of another man, whom I trust will become my husband.  He is preparing me for it, and no matter how hard life gets I know it's a blessing in disguise...so I embrace it.

Thank you God for the tests and trials...for the tests are truly tests to show me how far I've gone.  It shows me what I've learned and what I need to learn more of.  The hard times bring me closer to you.  Thank you for healing relationships with those close to me, and for softening my heart to those that I need to be closer to.  Thank you God for friends that love you and are used by you to guide me and encourage me.  Thank you for revealing yourself to me as the powerful, gracious, and fatherly God you are.  Thank you for taking me as your adopted child, your beloved bride, and your closest friend.  Thank you for holding my heart safe, and I trust you will give it away.  Thank you for reigning in your throne in Heaven, and still allowing little me to come before you. 

Reflect on the blessings in your life and be thankful for where God has brought you. 

Have a blessed Thanksgiving all. 

Dear Eternal God,

"Hear, O LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.  Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.  You are my God; save your servant who trusts in you.  Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I call to you all day long.  Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O LORD, I lift up my soul.  You are forgiving and good, O LORD, abounding in love to all who call to you.  Hear my prayer, O LORD; listen to my cry for mercy.  In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me. 

Among the gods there is none like you, O LORD; no deeds can compare with yours.  All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, O LORD; they will bring glory to your name.  For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God. 

Teach me your ways, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.  I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.  For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave. 

The arrogant are attacking me, O God; a band of ruthless men seeks my life--men without regard for you.  But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.  Turn to me and have mercy on me; grant your strength to your servant and save the son of your maidservant.  Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me."

(Psalms 86)

Speak to me Lord, for your child is here...listening...unveil my eyes let me see you...unveil my heart let me know you. 

There's a raging sea, right in front of me.  Tries to pull me in, brings me to my knees....so let the waters rise, if you want them to.  I will follow you...I will follow you. 

"Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  (Isaiah 40:28-31)
 
"Hold on just a little bit longer, the pain ain't going to last forever...believe me this is going to make you stronger."

"The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

Trusting

How far would you trust God? 

"In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias.  The Lord called to him in a vision, 'Ananias!' 

'Yes, Lord,' he answered. 

The Lord told him, 'Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying.  In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.' 

'Lord,' Ananias answered, 'I have heard many reports about this man and all the hard he has done to your saints in Jerusalem.  And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.'

But the Lord said to Ananias, 'Go!  This man in my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel.  I wills how him how much he must suffer for my name.'

Then Ananias went to the house and entered it.  Placing his hands on Saul, he said, 'Brother Saul, the Lord--Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here--has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.'" 

(Acts 9:10-17)


How far would you trust God? 

If He brought you to a situation that seemed completely hopeless...then told you to pursue it...would you?  

What if...by your knowledge of a situation...you knew it could harm you, maybe kill you? 

What if it didn't appear to be in sync with what you are seeing? 

...would you trust God enough to do it still? 

Ananias trusted God...but he questioned Him as well because it didn't add up to what he knew of the situation at hand...it could kill Him...this man was risking a lot...or so he thought. 

What is God commanding you to do?  Is it to start a small group?  To introduce yourself to that one person that's just too weird?  To reach out and preach to a dude that looks like he could smother you?  To stand up against what your friends are saying because you know it's not right? 

What about opening your heart up to that one person...allowing them to hold your heart and trusting them with your tender treasure?  Maybe God is telling you to be the holder. 

The book of Ruth is all about God/Jesus as our true Kinsman Redeemer...Boaz needed the closest of kin to allow him the property, and the girl.  Is God allowing you to 'redeem'...are you willing to accept it despite the appearance of the situations? 

Whatever your situation...reflect on how far God has brought you...look back on what you were and see the change God has brought before you.  Praise Him for that!  He got you this far.  Now hold that truth...and trust Him more.  Ananias trusted, and witnessed to the chosen vessel for the Gentiles. 

We aren't perfect...and thank God I can say that!  He can still use me!!  He used Saul...the persecutor of the Christians!  Look how far he had gone??  How can I argue with that? 

Now, I will ask one more time....

How far would you trust God?

How Has Your Past Shaped You?

Looking at Michal: David's wife, ex-wife, back to wife


I Samuel 18:20-21; 19:11-17  Michal before  II Samuel 3:14-16

• She was in love and lied to protect her man from her own father

II Samuel 3:14-16

• After being separated from David, he demanded her back after Saul's death
• "Her husband, however, went with her, weeping behind her all the way to Bahurim."  (Verse 16)
  

II Samuel 6:16-23  Michal after  II Samuel 3:14-16

• Judgmental, blunt, disheartening, critical
• "...she despised him in her heart." (verse 16)  

Why the change, here's what has been revealed to me:

Michal was in love, but she was used to hurt David by Saul.  It appears to be punishment, but Michal's marriage with David is ripped from her.  She remarries and has settled down to make her new husband very happy and pleased with her.  David demands her back, and rips from her another part of her heart she gave to her other husband.  After two rips from love (at least this is all that's recorded of her life), she turns into Michal from II Samuel 6. 


Does she have good reasons?  Does she have good defense?  Must not have, for her punishment was she "had no children to the day of her death."  She judged David's heart...when he was fully worshiping.  Do you do this?  Sometimes I do, but I am letting myself break from what people expect to see in worship and do what I am led to do, just like David did.  Now, my words fade.  Let the Spirit make connections in your own heart with what He has shown me. 


Getting Pride out of Prayer  (from a book Empowered to Pray by Woodrow Kroll)


Jesus' Prayer Luke 23:33-43


"Forgiveness is not an emotional response to sin... 

1)  Forgiveness is a choice
2)  Prayer is a choice
3)  Expect others to respond as the mob responded to Jesus' prayer. 

• Be prepared.  People haven't changed.  Do you have friends, neighbors, or coworkers for whom you consistently pray?  When they learn you are praying for their salvation, they may react as these did to Jesus' prayer for forgiveness.  Most will laugh, some will mock, but thank God, some will believe.  Keep on praying.   Some will believe."

"What does it mean to be empowered to pray?  It means feeling the peace of God's forgiveness and the joy of forgiving others." 


"Remember, forgiveness is a choice.  It's up to you.  Jesus chose to forgive; so can you." 


"When the crowd was at its worst, Jesus was at his best."


From the study Anointed Transformed Redeemed: A Study of David 

"Sin will take you farther than you ever expected to go; it will keep you longer than you ever intended to stay, and it will cost you more than you ever expected to pay."   



Paraphrase of part of Kay Arthur's message:  Stop questioning where God was in your hurt relationships, your broken marriages, your deaths, your abuse.  You are God's workmanship, so stop complaining about how you've been molded and let God use you because of it!  Don't question how God had to mold you...just use it.  


To close, these verses are needed in my life right now.  I pray God shows you what you need to see in your life through this blog that He put together.  (Really, it was cool to watch Him show me what to put and how it connected together)



Colossians 4:2 "Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving."

Matthew 5:16 "In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."




Amen....

When My Words are Absent

I love when I don't have a plan to blog...but feel led to anyway.  Let's see what the Spirit moves my fingers to type:

Philippians 4:12-13
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who gives me strength."

John 5:30
"By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me."

No matter what, Paul says that the true secret to satisfaction in any circumstance is to seek God who gives us the true strength.  In the gospel of John, Jesus speaks how even him alone cannot do anything alone.  It emphasizes to me how connected the Trinity really is...without all three characters of God, Jesus wouldn't be able to do anything.  The latter part of John 5:30 really hit me tonight..."my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me."

Oh how sinful we are!  Our motives are so corrupt, and initially we pray and work for our own gain.  We work for the good that will come in our lives.  We pray and ask for blessings because it helps us.  How pure our hearts would be if we'd get out of the picture.  How clear and sound our judgments would be! 

I have been opening to new ways for me to approach God.  I love the levels of prayer we can have.  Jesus calls us to be in a personal relationship with him, and as his beloved I love the idea of having "Jesus dates."  I'd walk around town and find a place where it's just me and him.  I have a casual conversation with Jesus, thanking him for showing me the things that take my breath away.

Then, there are the times when I need more divine intervention.  When I need to not approach God as my lover, but as the King of kings.  The only one that can fulfill my requests.  I need to humble before the Creator of the world, assume my prayer posture, adore Him as the powerful being He is, and bring my desperate requests before Him.

There is one request I had been praying for almost a year now.  God encourages me to be persistent, so I am.  But my prayers have been changing attitudes.  Each time, I notice God showing me another way to pray.  Another part of me that needs to change.  Finally, God just says "Are you asking for your own gain or my gain?  What are you willing to give up for me with this?  How will this glorify my kingdom instead of your selfish desires?" 


To tell you the truth, I have been given answers in this as well, so I can keep praying persistently.  It's interesting how I don't hear "No" from God, but rather I hear "Let me show you more and change you so this can happen for you."  Even people around me haven't affirmed "No" from God.  I pray my heart is prepared in case, and that my love for God is so amazing that I am not even devastated when my prayers aren't answered like I'd hoped. 


Moral of the story...purify your hearts.  Through God's strength can we get through any circumstance, and through God's strength can we have sound judgment and pure hearts when we approach God's throne.  May your prayers and hearts reflect that of the tax collector and not the Pharisee (Luke 18:10-14). 


When you don't have your answer yet, don't give up.  Instead, love what God is doing for you now and embrace the waiting game...He's making you perfect so you may enjoy His answered prayer to the fullest. 


"God, have mercy on me, a sinner." 

Our Callings

This weekend has been so spiritually uplifting.  Oh my goodness...God is amazing!  I got the opportunity to help minister as a volunteer at the Mark Schultz concert in Cedar Falls last night.  As I expected, I was a blubbering mess, crying at every other song.  But I was also yearning inside to do something throughout the whole concert: pray.  I felt led to pray for hearts at that concert.  I prayed for Mark's ministry with us, I prayed for the opening bands.  I prayed for the starving children and individuals that were led to sponsor a child.  I prayed and worshiped all night. 

In our Bible study tonight, we looked at Acts 6.  As short as it is, there was something that really stuck out to me.  Something I want to hold on to: 

Verses 1-6=A need to serve the widows arose.  The 12 apostles met with all the disciples and said "It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables...We will turn this responsibility over to them (7 other men) and give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word." 

Lazy selfish apostles!  Man...putting the dirty work on others so they don't have to do it...wait...

In the passage, it shows that we are all called to do something in this present time.  The apostles saw that they were called to "give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word."  Does that mean that they were being selfish and sinful to pass those duties to someone else?  Not at all!  In fact, if we said yes to everything people asked us to do, we'd be neglecting the true calling(s) that God has for us.  We'd be BUSY (being under Satan's yolk). 

This also shows a demonstration of our body in Christ.  We all serve the same God, but in different areas.  For me, I am used more with worship and prayer right now.  I feel I am being called to be involved in supportive roles, to uplift those that are leading or hurting.  To be passive aggressive.  To be aggressively supportive to those around me. 

Tonight, my group prayed after studying chapter 6.  We lifted up prayer after prayer, then we went on a prayer walk and prayed for the community...and I felt such a peace.  I felt God's Spirit stirring with requests that came to my heart.  I couldn't keep silent...but when I did I felt God's presence even more. 

God is teaching me how to pray.  Today's sermon was from Ecclesiastes 5:1-7.  Verses 1-3 told me "Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.  God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few."  I have had this terrible habit of elongating prayers...even normal conversation and blogging.  I was shown and convicted of how repetitive I can get. 

Verse 7 says "Much dreaming and many words are meaningless.  Therefore stand in awe of God." 

I am being called to support.  I am being told to aggressively pray for those around me.  Pray with few words...let my ears be pierced and dug out so I can really hear God.  Encourage others that are more active in the field...lift them up and nourish them through prayer and music. 

You may have heard a calling, but won't step up to it.  You may be afraid of it, or neglectful by saying "I promise I will do it...tomorrow." 
Ecclesiastes 5:4-6 "When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it.  He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow.  It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it." 
What vows have you made before God?  To those around you?  Have you vowed to obey your calling?  To step out in boldness?  Are you being distracted or discouraged in your own power to do it?  I vowed to start up this prayer meeting soon...but neglected it.  No more waiting.  God is calling me and others around me to meet in prayer.  What are you waiting for....what have you got to lose? 

Fulfill your vows and accept your callings as they come to you today...not tomorrow. 

Who Am I??

I was convinced that I needed to not only rethink myself, but blog about why I had to.  Today was a day where I was torn mostly with events that were distracting and discouraging me from my walk with God.  I felt the evil one really try to bring me away from my woman's Bible study tonight, and emotionally I was struggling to find myself at peace in the study.  These are one of those moments where I needed to pray for the desire to desire God. 

Because of this praying and God taking my heart back after I tried so hard to give it back to Him, I had heard a couple really impacting moments during the study...both revolved around the questions "Who am I??" 

1)  II Samuel 7:1-3 explains how David wants to make a house for the ark (presence of God) rather than it stay in a tent.  4-11 say how God had other plans...in fact He wanted to establish a house for David and his family. 

David's response?  Verse 18-"'Who am I??'"  "Who am I, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?" 
Is that how you deal with man?  Is that what you do God?  Bless us?  Bringing us this far?  Have you had many this far moments, where all you can say is "God, oh God how did you bring me this far??  I couldn't get this far on my own!"  Who are we to be blessed by God bringing us this far, and establishing us in His divine home and purpose on earth?? 

2)  II Samuel 6:1-10 explains how David was bringing the ark back to its place in Israel.  It started to slip and pump around on the trip, so Uzzah reached out and touched the ark to keep it steady.  God's anger struck down and killed Uzzah instantly because of his "irreverent act." 
David was furious against God.  "How could you kill him?  That was uncalled for!"  This anger turned to fear, and David could not bring the presence of God into his city. 

This act of God wasn't what David expected to have happen while he was bringing the presence of God back home.  David really thought he was doing the right thing...but God totally acted out of turn!  God shouldn't have killed Uzzah...he was just trying to steady the ark! 

Let me tell you...nothing throws us more for a loop than when God does not behave like we want Him to.  Honestly....like He needs to behave and obey our prayers to Him.  He can, and promises He will...but when God doesn't "follow the rules" we set up for our lives, we are devastated.  We blame God for not doing it right.  It makes sense for us...why didn't God get it right?? 

And friends, we can't move on unless we get passed this devastation.  We need to move past the disappointment and anger toward God and conquer the fear.  We need to get close to God again and seek Him.  Learn from it...and move on. 

Ask God for forgiveness for the times where you've commanded Him to obey our demands for self gain.  Forgive yourself.  God is able to do everything we ask...but He can still say no.  Or, He will do it another way that takes WAY longer than if He just did it our way.  His way is best.  Acknowledge it and step back from our ways.  Cause really, who are we to command the King of kings, who knows the beginning and the end...to fulfill our selfish desires?  We are privileged to just talk to Him!

Step down...ask with the purpose of furthering God's kingdom on earth...don't doubt His abilities, but don't get bossy with our Heavenly Father either. 

Don't Give Up

Nothing much to this blog...but I want to continue to encourage you all to pray.  Pray constantly.  Lift up prayers of thanksgiving, adoration, and requests.  When you ask for something, pray earnestly for it.  Really believe God can give it to you.   Really root for God to show you how AMAZING He really is. 

My favorite visual I can think of with God is just like a father would react to his son/daughter:
"Daddy, I really want a pony for Christmas!  I love ponies.  I think it would be so good for helping outside around the house and helping me get places faster!"

"Oh my daughter, would you be able to take care of it?   Could you keep up with it?  Would this pony really be worth the hassle?  I know another way that you can accomplish what you want to."

I actually hear Him saying "Oh Kat...wait til I really show you what you need."

Is He saying that to you?  Is it hard to hear?  Trust me...it is.  It's harder to hear "You're right...but wait."
Keep praying.  We may never see the results...but God assures us that our words will never return to us empty.  Our prayers are heard.  They will be answered in God's timing and purpose.

Trust Him.  Love Him.  Talk to Him every day, with every breath you take.  He deserves it, and is capable of doing all we ask and imagine...wouldn't you want to see it?

How Much Power are We Really Talking About Here?

"When Ananias heard this, he fell down dead..."  Acts 5:5
"At that moment, she [Sapphira] fell down at his [Peter] feet and died." Acts 5:10

"As a result, people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on the beds and mats so that at least Peter's shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by."  Acts 5:15

"'Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus.'  After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken.  And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly."  Acts 4:30-31

 The context of the first set of verses revolves around Ananias and Sapphire lying to the Holy Spirit about not giving all they were instructed to.  Their punishment?  Sudden death.  Literally.  They just died.  Probably very healthy individuals.  We may ask ourselves "Well God, that's harsh."  It actually looks more like our God we see in the Old Testament, with His sudden and questionable actions.  But honestly, it shows and reminds us that our "lovey dovey" God more seen in the New Testament is still the God we see in the Old.  He never changes.

So, let me ask this...if God never changes, should His Holy Spirit?  Reread the verses and reflect on the power.  Friends, this same Spirit is in us!

How do we see this today?  Do we see the miraculous healing?  I have heard about some.  One friend said that we aren't praying big enough for God.  It's like asking a professional piano player to play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."  He sits there and goes "That's all you want?  I am capable of doing so much more...are  you sure you don't want anything a little bigger?"

Do we trust God's power in us?  Is our faith needing to grow so we can really believe in the power that's in us?  Would you walk up to someone and say something with full assurance that God would do what you said?  Is our fear and faith in God that strong?

Now it's more than just believing God is strong enough...it's getting out of the way so His power radiates all the more.  If you really believed it, wouldn't you want to get out of the way?  If you really tasted God's goodness in your life and felt the fullness of His power in you, wouldn't you want to desire that all the time?

So friends, my challenge to you is to reflect on the power that dwells in you.  Reflect on who is living in you and the credit He deserves for the amazing things He does do and can still do today.  Would you be willing to see Him work today like he did back then?  What do you need to do in your heart to prepare yourselves for that?  I don't know about you, but I want to see God's power today.  I want the earth to shake after praying. 

Include a statement like the following in your prayers.  Pray that God reveals Himself to you more and more each day.  Pray God's power can be used through you.  Even Peter's shadow was precious because the Holy Spirit's power was so great in Him!  Is that true with us?  Are we ready to see the Holy Spirit's full power?  Are we willing?  Do we have so much trust in man and our progress throughout the years that we don't see a need to have these miracles anymore?  I have heard doctor's say that someone should have been dead and can't explain why that person is still alive.  Sounds like even when we try to perform the miracles, we can't.  We still need God to do it, and we need it in our world today. 

"Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus."  Help us to believe, because we don't want to miss any miracles.  

Two Warrior Mothers

I am going to make use of a sick day and blog about the woman/women that I am studying in my devotional.  They are Deborah and Jael  (Judges 4-5)

Something that really inspires me about this warrior woman is that she carried so many roles:
Deliverer
Judge
Prophetess
Wife
With all these hats she wore, she did not go by any of them.  She chose to hold the title "a mother in Israel" (5:7)  She also called upon a man, Barak, to lead the army to victory against the oppression of Sisera.  Barak requested that Deborah join her or he will not go.  With this, Deborah said that Sisera will be handed over to the hands of a woman because of this man's lack of confidence in himself, Deborah's instincts, his army, and God.  However, the two worked together amazingly during the battle and after the victory was won. 

Deborah's prophesy of Israel being handed over to a woman landed on one of a nomadic lifestyle.  Her name was Jael.  After Barak advanced against Sisera, the ruler fled and arrived at the tent of this peace-seeking woman.  Jael's first instincts looked as if she was in Sisera's best interest.  She played a mother role, taking care of this man injured from battle.  However, the tides turn when Sisera sleeps and Jael takes the opportunity to slay him with a tent peg. 

Both these woman could be seen as treacherous and bloodthirsty, but really they were mothers ceasing an opportunity to fulfill God's promise, whether they both saw it that way or not.  Jael's intentions could have easily been to stay on the side of the winning team so she would survive, but whatever her intentions were...the children of Israel were saved again and Deborah's prophesy was fulfilled. 

Girls:
Does this encourage us that we can play both roles of warrior and mother?  We can be a hero while nourishing those around us?  Our lives don't have to be as 'adventurous' but we for sure can be used to fight for those around us through prayer and leadership. 

Something I see here is that Deborah called upon a man to lead the army rather than herself.  Can you see something that may be significant to hold toward a marriage?  Even one of the strongest of women called a man to go before her to fulfill God's plan.  This really speaks to me.  But also, we need to cease the chance ourselves to fulfill God's plan as Jael did.  Pray for discernment so you know when each scenario is necessary.

Guys:
Are you embarrassed with Barak's story in this?  Would you be embarrassed if a woman gave you commands?  Would you be afraid, or would you be able to trust a woman's instructions as if they were from God himself?  Society today has woman taking more leadership, but men seem to be simply stubborn and prideful.  Would you break this to hear God's voice behind your wife?  Girlfriend?  Close female friend?  How much does God have to break your pride men?

After the victory, Deborah and Barak praised God in song.  Chapter 5 is all about praising and singing to God.  Do we regularly praise God through worship with everything He does for us?

I urge you to pray for discernment to hear God's voice, whether it come from man, woman, the Bible, songs...God can use anything to reach you with His instructions.  Does your relationship with God sound like you are trying to focus on two songs at the same time?  It's hard...and if other voices are getting in the way of God's, it's not any different for our spiritual ears.  What of yourself is getting in the way?  Pride?  Fear of man?  Confidence that you don't need God?   You are missing the opportunity that Jael got if you aren't ready.  I pray for your hearts to be prepared for God's calling.  Whether it be to prepare yourself for teamwork like Deborah and Barak, or individual conquering like Jael...God uses everyone and everything.  Equip yourself, and be ready.  Don't miss it when He summons you to lead an army.

Fearing and Hearing

God has thrown songs and verses at me this week that just has made me so excited that I'm hearing it!
I am staying brief and to the point....trying something new.  =) 
Here are my daily bread verses I had this week, and the main messages I got outside that. 

9/18-Revalation 1:8-"I am the Alpha and the Omega..."
God is the beginning and the end, He is there now, He was there, and He will forever.  In my fearing God, this is a good reminder.
9/19-James 2:17-"In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by actions, is dead."
This was the Monday after my retreat...and God had told me to have more faith...this was an addition that I couldn't just believe I would get a job or get what I believe I would receive...but I had to act on that faith.  It won't just happen if I'm sitting around and only waiting. 
9/20-Revelation 22:12-"Behold, I am coming soon!  My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done."
This was for my elderly friend..it will be soon. 
9/21-Luke 11:1-4-Luke's version of the Lord's Prayer
I love the Lord's prayer...just a reminder. 
9/22-Luke 12:15-"Then he said to them, 'Watch out!  Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."
God is breaking me from my financial comfort.  Time to cut back and think more ministry and necessity with money rather than personal gain and comfort. 
9/23-James 5:7-"Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming.  See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains."
Another verse for my elderly friend.  To elaborate briefly, the farmer is waiting for my friend's crop to yield all its valuables before the harvest.   
9/24-John 10:16-"I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen.  I must bring them also.  They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd."
This is my favorite one...we did our pancake outreach, and it didn't work out like we planned.  We were seeking a certain group of people...but this verse coming up on this day made me feel so confident that those sheep weren't the ones you needed us to reach.  There were other sheep, and they heard your voice that night.  I believe it. 
9/25-Matthew 24:35-"Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away."
Everything you have told me this week and in the past will forever be in my heart...I don't have to doubt or question it anymore. I will try not to. When we hear your words, let's act and not question. 

I had been praying very hard for my elderly friend to find deliverance from her struggles and for God to take her home.  Now I realize that I need to keep this focus, but I need to be encouraging her that this struggle is making her complete.  This song has been popping up on the radio constantly, and I hadn't ever heard it this much in 2 days EVER.  So, God's telling me something...He's telling me what to tell her.

Stronger-Mandisa
Chorus: 
"When the waves are taking you under, hold on just a little bit longer.  He knows that this is going to make you stronger.
The pain ain't gonna last forever.  Things can only get better.  Believe me this is going to make you stronger."

I have so much else I can write about, but I am working on keeping my blogs shorter and more compact.  I challenge you to find one verse a day, whether it's in a devotion or randomly opening your Bible to one.  How is God using that verse for you today?  Ask Him, seek out the answer.  If you listen, He will tell you.  Don't hesitate, just do it.  You don't want to miss it if you're on the verge of a miracle. 

Lead Me

Tonight, I prayed "Lord, give me a song that I need to hear now.  Give me a song that people need to reflect on.  Lead me to a song tonight that I can use as a prayer."  (I do this often...and the result is pretty amazing)

A song by Sanctus Real came up on my iPod shuffle.  Here are the lyrics.  Granted, I'm not a man...but I can plug myself in as the one who needs to lead and the one who needs to be led.  It was appropriate for me.

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames, I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling, but on the inside

Oh, I can hear her saying

Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent, but on the inside

Oh, I can hear them saying

Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh Father, show me the way
To lead them

Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me 'cause I can't do this alone

Answered Prayer and Affirmation

My apologies...this is going to be longish, but I hope worth the read.

I had asked for brokenness.  There were parts of me that I knew weren't complete, and there were parts of me that I knew I wasn't giving up to God fully.  I prayed with three main things in my heart that God would either a) reveal and answer b) make it happen c) change my heart and lift it off my chest

God did all three of those things...in a way I wasn't expecting.  During my retreat, the main message revolved around relationships.  In three sessions, we talked about our relationship with ourselves and God, first through loving our personality, our body, and God.  We girls are always being told to not listen to the stereotypes of the world and love ourselves for who God made us.  We've heard it all before, and I've heard it since I was younger (Junior High)...but this change of heart doesn't happen over night.  We can desire to fully want this, but in God's time will He really reveal this.  I love the fact that I am outgoing and spontaneous...but also reserved and adaptable.  I naturally look out for others before myself...to the point I neglect myself.

We need to find an even balance of this, because it's important to keep ourselves strong and taken care of before we can offer anything to anybody else.  We need to treat ourselves with the same respect we feel we treat others.  "Treat others as you ought to be treated."  "Love your neighbor AS yourself."  

I'll give you a visual...you are out with a friend, and your friend forgets his keys in the car.  He says out loud "Man, I can't believe I did that!"  What's your natural response?  "Oh dude it's fine.  We'll just go back and get them.  It's not too much trouble."  What if you were by yourself and you left your keys in the car?  Is your response the same to yourself as it is to your friend?  How do we treat ourselves...and is this a healthy relationship?

Finally....loving God.  One thing I really took from this section was that in those times where God feels distant, it's not always because He is, but because we put things in His way.  We build up boulders.  We clutter our lives with things because we are worried and need to take care of it ourselves.  Really...live and let God...it's the easier way to do it, and He has taught me this GREATLY this weekend.  God is driving...and I am going for the ride having fun.  I am taking advice and listening for His call to act on this deeper faith, because faith without actions is dead.  I can't just sit...I need to act when I am supposed to and trust it's the right thing to do.

I had realized some huge things this weekend that revolved around two words...faith and patience.  Faith that God is greater than what this world says I need to trust in, and patience for His answers to happen in His time with His resources.

Let me just share a few other things that have really set in my heart what God is showing me...

My woman to study this week is Deborah...a woman judge who led and summoned a man to conquer and set Israel free yet again.  Her faith overshadowed the doubt of every other man that couldn't stand up to the opposition, and in the end, her and Barak worshiped and sang together over the victory they achieved.  Through faith, something amazing is going to happen in my life.  In the end of it, I will be jumping around and worshiping when my answers finally play out.  I want to be singing, especially with a man that I will fight along side of...someone that sings the same song I sing.

One thing I do to get affirmation is to call my Mom.  Last night, my mom and I talked for 2.5 hours...and I got nothing but affirmation with what I was being shown this weekend.  My mom gets these senses, and if hers and mine match up I am usually confident that God is there too.  Too many times our senses don't match...so when it does it's a big thing...a God thing. 

At young adult Bible study, we went through Acts 3.  This reflected around a lame man begging for money.  Peter along with some others were walking to the temple and met this man.  He asked for money, and Peter's response kicks me every time.  "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I will give to you."  Money isn't what I need right now...another job isn't what I need right now...free evenings is what I need.  Time for me to do what makes me happy is what I need...not more money to buy more stuff.  I trusted money to get me through...God is telling me that money isn't what He has for me.  It's something greater than that.  What could I possible have to worry about?  God knows exactly what I need...and I doubt that?  Why do I argue with Him?  God knows when I sit and when I rise...He formed me in my mother's womb...I am perfectly and wonderfully made, in His image.  God knows me and my life backwards and forwards...and I deny Him the privilege of blessing me with what I actually need?  Not anymore God...you got me this weekend hard.

Dear Father, you answered prayers, and you broke me.  Help me to trust you, and act on my faith in you.  Help others to do the same.  Breaking hurts, but it's needed.  I pray this breaking happens for my close friends, and even for my future husband.  I am single, and so is he because we are not broken and equipped enough.  Break both of us and equip us to be ready like Deborah and Barak.  Let us act on faith and strengthen each other to conquer when others fall away.  Let us sing together and praise you for your amazing accomplishments and blessings on our lives.  Let us both love ourselves enough to be able to love and take care of each other...and may our personalities and gifts enforce each other so a great purpose can come about...and may we both be so engrossed in you that we don't miss the signal of approval, that we are ready to start our journey together.  


God I pray I continue to break.  I pray my faith grow stronger in you, and that I will continue to see you working like Peter in Acts 3.  Let me accept it when you don't give me what I ask for, and be thankful and excited to see what is actually better for me.  Help me act on my faith and stand firm in what you are telling me.  I would rather turn from my Gideon ways of second guessing your messages, and go right to Deborah who stood firm the whole way through.  I know your promises thus far for my life, and even though some are still in the waiting process, I know it will happen.  I trust it will.  Let my career be mapped before me in your time.  Let my future husband feel what I feel, and may he be as certain as I am of this.  

Use me Jesus, I trust you much more that I did before.  Let me love unconditionally by first truly loving myself and giving you the credit for making me absolutely gorgeous...you got it right.  I don't want to doubt that anymore.  I appreciate your creation in nature, and you made me just as beautiful as the sunset and starry nights.  Thanks Dad.  Thanks for everything.  Keep it coming.  I am not afraid.  It's going to be a great ride.  

Your daughter, servant, and ever-seeking friend, 
Kat 

A Need for Brokenness

Those that read my blog, I ask for prayer.  I would usually put these things on my other blog (which you should follow and add comments of prayer requests to so I can pray for you as well), but this time I want to address a personal prayer request on here. 

My spirit has been tried and tested greatly in so many ways these past few weeks.  I can almost feel God's hands around me, morphing me and molding me.  It hurts...a lot.  James says to take heart when I face trials of many kinds...and I assume he also means when they all hit at once. 

Here are a few things right now you can pray for me with.  Submitting without losing the heart of my worshiping, the multiple waiting processes I am going through (career and love life), and submitting myself completely with the absolute fear of God that I am intended to have.  Today I came before God and asked for Him to just break me.  Whatever it took, I want to be broken.  I am not afraid of the costs, I just want to be done with this struggle.   

Some have been around a few days, some weeks, and another for long and hard months...years.  I am being equipped for something amazing.  I just don't know what yet.  Right now it is a constant process that I haven't fully vocalized for prayer...I truly believe that if two or more are gathered in God's name in agreement, God is there as well.  I also believe that if multiple individuals come together in constant prayer that God hears that just as much and acts in POWERFUL ways.  I don't ever want to be having a pity party, but I want to address my requests before God and peers so that through prayer I can overcome any pride and weakness that is keeping me from doing God's plan. 

These three passages were in my daily woman's devotional.  It was needed for me, and it assures me that God knows exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it. 

Isaiah 40:29-31
Acts 4:13
2 Corinthians 12:10

Just like Rehab turned from her prostitution and trusted God above her own mighty fortress of a city, I want to turn from my fortress of security and look to God's in more depth.  Thank you friends.  Prayer is amazing...please use it. 

Challenge for My Generation

Brothers and sisters in Christ,

In a previous blog, I addressed a question regarding how we want to be viewed as the church and Church.  Folks, we are the next generation to run the Church.  We are going to be the ones who will carry on traditions and abolish others.  We will be the crowd that eventually will be the face of the church and Church.  How are people going to see us? 

What do people see when they see us?  What have you heard people say about us?  Do they see Christ?  Is it uplifting and glorifying God?  If not, how do we change this? 

According to Acts 2, we are given a list of things that the first church body did.  Reflect on these things and continue.   

What things are you missing?  How can you accomplish these things in your church?  Let me encourage you with some ideas.  I am blessed to be part of an amazing bible study of young adults who have a heart for setting this world on fire.  Together, we are trying to pray more.  We have ideas set up for outreach to populations in and out of our church.  We are gathering together with a purpose set to glorify God through loving others. 

Something else I would encourage...think of how many people are on social networks like facebook.  We see statuses that reflect things from waking up in the morning to complaining about how terrible our day has been.  How many people are on facebook and see this?  Think about this goal...go a day without posting anything negative.  If that's easy, go a week.  If that's easy, a month.  So on and so forth.  Now...something else.  What if you glorified God in your facebook?  What if your facebook page was so free from turmoil and strife that people are wondering how in the world your life is so fulfilling??  What if your facebook page became the most powerful witness you had to the world?  How would you start that?  What would you need to change?

When people see us, are they turning their heads and saying "Oh...it's those hypocritical Christians" or "There is something different about them...and I want to know what it is" ? 

The Lord's prayer says "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven."  This starts with ourselves.  Let's leave a witness and change lives by changing ourselves.  Join me with this. 

What are you going to do? 

Reflection on Waiting

I will be blunt....waiting sucks. 

I think someone prayed for patience with me, because I can sit and reflect on how impatient I am feeling on many different things that I think I can see coming together in my life. 

To name a few things, I have been waiting for a solution for my acne.  After waiting months with appointments and blood work, I can finally start on this medication (that is going to take some time before it actually starts to take away my blemish).  So, still waiting. 


I had been waiting and waiting for a reply from this job, whether it is a phone call asking to accept the job or a letter of rejection.  I find myself needing to refocus and trust in God's plan in my life regardless of this job status. 

I am still very much waiting for my main "weakness," but it's more of a delayed promise than a weakness.  I know I am being prepared and equipped for the one God is wanting me to join with, and I know it will happen...in God's timing.  I so badly want to be a wife, and watching my sister's daughter celebrate her first birthday...I want to eventually be a mom.  There is still something in me that needs to click before I can be expected to live that part of my life...and both myself and my future husband will know when it's clicked for both of us. 

I can't help be keep reflecting back to Acts 1 where Jesus tells His disciples to wait.  I have to keep putting myself in that place.  Jesus/God is telling me to wait..and then lists all these things I need to wait for.  (and these are just reasons that I feel God is placing on my heart while the waiting is happening)

Wait with this acne, because I need you to learn more about the beauty you have inside of you rather than the beauty you are wanting on the outside.  

Wait with this job, because you need to be thinking and refreshing that part of your life as a certified professional so that you may better glorify me.  I may have use for you at your current job and it's not time to leave that yet.  

Wait with your husband, because I have plans that you need to accomplish as a single woman.  I have tests to prove to you if you are emotionally ready for it.  I have weaknesses to be made stronger so you can better serve your household that I will raise up for you.  I need to you think about now, because that's where I need you to work. 

These lyrics are from John Wallers song "While I'm Waiting"

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

Dear Heavenly Father, 
I am waiting...patiently (or as patient as I can be) I will wait for these requests to be accomplished in your time.  My acne won't vanish overnight, this job may or may not happen, and my husband may be far from ready for me as I am for him.  When will I know who?  Maybe I already do...I am just waiting.  Maybe I am wrong.  I accept either answer...as long as there is an answer Father.  "A hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."  (Proverbs 13:12)  I pray...no...I beg for this tree of life. 
"He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin." (Proverbs 13:3)  I don't want to be rash God...teach me to be patient.  Teach me to wait.  I have no choice right now.  Teach me to be patient effectively.  In Acts 1, the disciples waited by praying constantly.  I want to be in tune with you constantly God...because I don't want to miss your answers and wait longer.  Help prepare my husband just as you are preparing me.  I want to be my husband's crown (Proverbs 12:4).  I want my husband to have full confidence in me, and trust me (Proverbs 31:11)  I want to be constantly looking up and asking for your guidance (Proverbs 31:30).   I love you Lord, and I lift my voice to worship you.  Oh my soul rejoice.  Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary, pure and holy.  I am waiting.  I am waiting on you Lord, and I am hopeful.  I am waiting on you Lord, though it is painful...but patiently I will wait.  
Please Lord, do not delay these requests any longer than needed...but help me to make this quicker in any way I can.  I trust you God, completely.  
Love you Dad.  I pray this in your Son's holy and precious name...Amen.   

An Intro to Acts-How to Wait

I had taken a few notes last night from my young adult Bible study, and went back to review my thoughts today.  We are going through the book of Acts, and started our focus with how we (my generation) wants to portray the church as well as the Church.  We looked into a few questions, but here's one that I want you to ponder. 

How do we (church and Church) want to be viewed? 
**For those wondering, church is referring to our local community (building church) and Church is the entire body of Christ (Christian brothers and sisters)**

In my generation, are we sitting here going with the motions because we are comfortable with it, or are we really seeking to go out and "set this world on fire"?  Personally, I want to draw people into the church by showing them how much the Church means to me.  I thought more about this, and realized that I won't do this effectively by verbally making statements to everyone.  Instead, I am showing them how much I love being part of the Church by how I live.  I want people to stop and go "There is something different about her...and I want to know what it's about."  I want the Holy Spirit to season me with salt and make me a flashlight that points to God.  That's how I want to be viewed as a Church body.  They will know FOR SURE we are Christians by our love. 

My other notes I made from my study last night can all be connected:

Acts 1
Verse 6-The disciples asked about Jesus' kingdom yet again.  Was it okay to ask this?

Verse 1-5-the evidence and proof of Jesus
   Actually, 40 days worth of proof...how much proof do you need?

Verse 4-God tells them to wait.  Why? 

Verse 14-They prayed constantly.  Why?  

It's okay to ask God to make sure of something.  If you don't ask, how will you know?  Ask with eagerness and pray constantly because you don't want to miss what God is going to show you when He wants you to know and act.  God has given you all the proof you need to follow and do what He is saying...how much more proof do you really need?  Knowing all this, wait.  Wait in prayer.  Wait with eagerness.  Wait with assurance because God has given you all the proof you need.  Doesn't matter what you are waiting for...some things are harder than others.   

Now, my questions for you....we have two instructions from Jesus that I will bring up.  In his great commission, he says to "Go."  Here he says to "Wait." 

If you are waiting, how do you know when you are supposed to go and act?  Do you respond?  Are you scared?  Is waiting easier because waiting keeps you from harm or distress? 

When God says wait, follow what the disciples did in Acts 1.  When God says go, remember what the writer of Hebrews said, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." 

If fear is keeping you from going, "The Lord is my strength and my salvation, of whom shall I be afraid?" 

Wait with eagerness...but when you need to move, do it with full assurance.  How much proof do you really need?