Oh to be a child...to be young again to where all you had to do was walk into a room and everyone would light up. Yesterday while at work, we had some kids from a school (grades 3-5) make May baskets for the residents. They came over with the baskets and delivered one to each person in the Home. I had the privilege of watching the faces of residents light up the world, just because a child walked into the room with a colored box with candy inside. I remembered one lady's face that I will never forget. She stays in her room all the time, is very picky with her food, rejects my invitations to do anything, and sometimes can have a very flat look to her. She has smiled for frequently, but today's reaction almost made me cry with joy.
The child came in, and this woman's first reaction was smiling cheek to cheek. She asked me "Is this your child?" (No...no it wasn't...this kid was in the 3rd grade...and I don't have children...yet). Her face was still beaming and she was so overjoyed with the gift. "This is so nice! Thank you for thinking of me!" She reached out and grabbed the boy's hand. This whole time, he was quiet and maybe said a few words.
To put this feeling I had inside me into words, I felt my heart had melted by the warmth these children had provided, and then exploded with pure joy at seeing my residents with so much life! Just because a child walked into their lives and thought about them for those few minutes. It meant the world to them!
Before this, my friends, Jay and Becky Baker, had their second son...Eli. I had gone over Tuesday evening to see little Eli, and I got to hold this precious little man. I rocked him gently, and began to pray over this boy. I remember looking at his scrunched up baby face, and pondering what amazing plans God has for him. I thought what trials, what tests, what accomplishments this little man would grow from. Just think, Eli may change the world. In some ways, he will.
I also found myself singing quietly while rocking...I felt like a mom. Someday, I will hold my own little boy/girl. I will be pondering if my boy will play varsity in football. I will wonder if my daughter will be as involved with music as I was. I will wonder if this boy will someday leave me for the military. I will be praying for a legacy through Christ to evolve through that little child. I will be nothing but a mom, protecting and nurturing. When I hold my little baby boy/girl, nothing in the world will matter. I will have my world in my hands. I will be filled with absolute peace.
Funny how a child can sit there and breathe, and you are surrounded with an essence of calm. Some rejoice. When we are new-born Christians, the mature ones around you should feel this same calmness. We should be spiritually excited and relieved to have a new child in the family. We should all be spiritual moms and dads to these children. We should be nurturing. If real children didn't grow up knowing their worth, they probably wouldn't grow up. Same way, if baby Christians grow without knowing their worth, they will stumble.
Show all your fellow brothers/sisters, young and old, how much they are worth.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
I Wanna Set the World on Fire!!
I love Easter. I love reflecting on how my God really demolished any fear, burden, pain, struggle...and sin on this day. He cleansed me, and today is when He made it possible for me to be with Him in paradise. This kind of love is rare, and I want as many people to see this kind of love in my life. I know without God I can't do anything, but I really want God to use me to set the world on fire.
This song by Britt Nicole has become one of my favorite songs for the moment. I sang this song at the top of my lungs all the way back to Waverly...(I had other songs going during my three-hour drive of course), and want to sing this at church on a Sunday in the near future.
Easter is about the power that Jesus had over death itself. Satan's main weapon in my opinion...and Jesus crushed it today! Today is a celebration in my heart! I want that to be spread out to everyone. I want to go where Jesus takes me, and I want to be willing to do whatever God wants of me. Yes...I struggle still, and there are some things that I still wish I could have resolved in my heart...but I am a woman that is seeking and trying her very best to give everything to God. He gave His all for me through Jesus, and conquered whatever fear I would put up in my life. Oh death, where is they sting? It's not hear anymore!!
"Set The World On Fire"
I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?
[CHORUS]
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do
I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands
[CHORUS]
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Nothing I cannot do
My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me
I wanna set the world on fire
I wanna set the world on fire, yeah
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I can't do
Nothing I can't do
I'm gonna set the world on fire
Set the world on fire
This song by Britt Nicole has become one of my favorite songs for the moment. I sang this song at the top of my lungs all the way back to Waverly...(I had other songs going during my three-hour drive of course), and want to sing this at church on a Sunday in the near future.
Easter is about the power that Jesus had over death itself. Satan's main weapon in my opinion...and Jesus crushed it today! Today is a celebration in my heart! I want that to be spread out to everyone. I want to go where Jesus takes me, and I want to be willing to do whatever God wants of me. Yes...I struggle still, and there are some things that I still wish I could have resolved in my heart...but I am a woman that is seeking and trying her very best to give everything to God. He gave His all for me through Jesus, and conquered whatever fear I would put up in my life. Oh death, where is they sting? It's not hear anymore!!
"Set The World On Fire"
I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?
[CHORUS]
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do
I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands
[CHORUS]
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Nothing I cannot do
My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me
I wanna set the world on fire
I wanna set the world on fire, yeah
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I can't do
Nothing I can't do
I'm gonna set the world on fire
Set the world on fire
Friday, April 22, 2011
Heart Vomit
First off, this blog post is going to be spontaneous, and probably very long. It is me unloading my heart because there are so many things inside me that I need to let go of. Some, I want you all to hear. Others, I don't mind you reading about. Mainly, my thoughts all reflect on how God is using me and people I love. My heart just wants to burst.
Tomorrow's Funeral and Remembrance:
May God's presence radiate in the lives of those that will be standing in honor of Don...may a peace fill that place as our hero's body returns to his home. May the family and loved ones of Don be comforted by God's presence. May we help to provide that presence, and may we be willing to let God's Spirit move through us.
I had heard about this group of people called Westboro Baptist Church, and I was in disbelief. I had looked up pictures of this certain group of people, and my heart was so troubled at the thoughts of seeing younger kids holding signs reading "God hates Fags." This is how these kids are being raised! This is what God is to them...this is their foundation they are going to hold on to with their faith. I was crushed. I was hardened...I was furious! How would these people miss the purpose of God's coming to earth? How could they call themselves Christians? How can they fall in love and serve a God that, they don't believe, loves all of us?
I had a discussion with my co-workers on this, and I must say I became rather absorbed on the topic. I started to spew word vomit, and soon wasn't able to hold back what was coming out of my mouth. Later that day, one lady that works with me stopped me and hugged me, saying that she was so thankful I had said what I did. Another guy who works with us was in the room, and she told me that he believes that homosexuals are perverts, and would stand up with Westboro's views. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe homosexuality is acceptable...but neither is lying or stealing or murdering. I have no right to judge...so I don't. My man friend here would judge....but he didn't while I was talking. This lady was thankful for my words, and said that if that wasn't me being passionate, she wants to see me unleash my "fury." God used me today with my co-workers.
In all honesty, I don't want to go to this funeral to protest the protest. That was part of my intention...but I want to because this death hits harder to home for me than I realized. I did not know Don, nor any of his family (to my knowledge anyway)...but knowing the age of this man and relating this to my brother...I felt obligated to show my support. If this was my brother, coming home for our country, I would want the support. I would want to know that people really did appreciate his sacrifice...and I would be touched. Do unto others as you would have done unto you...Thank God for men like Don and Dan who are willing to give themselves to the brutality of training for this position...and sacrifice their lives after that.
I get letters from Dan, and he keeps saying "I have conquered." I am so excited to read those words! I remember growing up with Dan...watching him play his sports and try so hard...only to have the boys with "the right name" get to start on varsity. My brother watched most of the games, and was hesitant to really show his true potential. Now, he can...and he has conquered! I am so thankful for my brother! He has taught me so much about fighting and being a marine for Christ...I am so excited when he comes home from training early this next month!
Mime performances:
We had finished our last mime performance tonight, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to be part of a spiritual movement like this. I had battled physical aches...but God put those aside pretty easy. The kicker was my emotional battles. My true weakness...and it still kicks me. I am thankful God can help me to remove myself of that to help others with their attacks, and I have realized more about myself as a woman for Christ through all the attacks and parts I played:
A mother and her child...suffering from grief and the choice of divorce
A lepore, yearning to be healed and touched
An adultress, in anguish of her past sins and judgement
A disciple of Christ, crying at the foot of the cross with His blood dripping
...Dripping for me. I am touched and healed...because of His blood dripping for me.
My past sins have been spared judgement...because of His blood dripping for me.
My grief of emotional and spiritual separation has been spared...because of His blood dripping for me.
My tears have been wiped from my face, because of His blood dripping for me.
That's how much Jesus loves me. To Him, I am irresistible! I am the adultress woman, I am the woman with leprosy. I am yearning to be touched and forgiven, and Jesus did that for me. Jesus came from His paradise in Heaven...His comfort zone with His Father...and He dwelt among us...
Good Friday:
Jesus suffered for me. He put Himself under us, served us...the Son of the Creator Himself came down here to serve us!! That blows my mind. He served us because we messed up. We goofed His perfect plan...and we separated ourselves from God. So...God gave up His Son, Jesus, to humble Himself as a baby and grow up among us. Among the wicked...the ones that messed it all up.
Jesus remained in contact with God, and stayed faithful to His Father's wishes despite all the times He may have wanted to call it quits. He could have just told everyone to screw off as they were testing Him. He could have let Satan win during the temptations. He could have easily told His Father "These people aren't worth this. Even my disciples don't understand me!" ...but He didn't. He stayed true. He fought for us. He went to the cross for us. Jesus was physically tortured as He was whipped and beaten. Jesus was emotionally beaten as He watched Peter deny Him...the same Peter that wanted to walk on the water with Jesus. The same Peter that said He would die for Jesus. He watched His mother cry in pain at the sight of her beloved son. Jesus felt His heavenly Father turn away...and was forsaken. Jesus trembled at the taunts of the crowd while He was on the cross "If you were really the Son of God, come and show us! Save yourself!"
Then, when we didn't think Jesus was going to hurt worse...He took ALL our sin upon Himself. Jesus...for the first time...felt sin in His life...and it was EVERYONE'S.
And Jesus knew this was coming...but He didn't back down. He didn't give in. He fought for us...and with His last breath, finished it. It tells me, I am worth it. I am so worth it...if Jesus could do this for me, I am so worth it. I am not worthy, but Jesus makes me feel beautiful. How many men would do what Jesus did? Probably none. How many men would make me feel like a princess that needed to be saved? None like Jesus.
Through Jesus, I am a beautiful woman, created with a purpose and a hope that can never be taken away from me. I am a mother at heart, and compassionate to those that need me. I am a woman willing to serve. I am a woman willing to love and give of myself. I am vulnerable. I am me because Jesus loves me, and because Good Friday occurred. No man would fight for me like that. Some will, and hopefully one will try his hardest to get me someday...but none will add up to how Jesus won me over. My heart is His.
I will finish my heart vomit with some songs. One is a song that I would love to have blaring as we stand in honor of Don...and will probably share with my brother as he comes home. The second is my heart speaking praises for being so beautiful through Jesus.
"Welcome Home (You)"
When I left home to be who I am
Some people said "No Way"
But I laid it all down, gave everything
In my head rang the words that my father said
You're never far
I will be where you are
and when you come to me
I will open my arms
Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face.
When I look at you holding my heart
I will give to you all that I have
Son I know there'll be times
You will feel all alone
I will share with you the words my father said
Said I've been waiting for that day
Just to feel your warm embrace
Your love has shown
I will never be alone
You will welcome me home
I'll forever be
You will say to me
Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face
When I left home to be who I am
Some people said "No Way"
I stand amazed in the presence
Of Jesus the Nazarene,
And wonder how He could love me,
A sinner, condemned, unclean.
Chorus:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
Is my Savior's love for me!
He took my sins and my sorrows,
He made them His very own;
He bore the burden to Calvary,
And suffered and died alone.
When with the ransomed in glory
His face I at last shall see,
’Twill be my joy through the ages
To sing of His love for me.
Tomorrow's Funeral and Remembrance:
May God's presence radiate in the lives of those that will be standing in honor of Don...may a peace fill that place as our hero's body returns to his home. May the family and loved ones of Don be comforted by God's presence. May we help to provide that presence, and may we be willing to let God's Spirit move through us.
I had heard about this group of people called Westboro Baptist Church, and I was in disbelief. I had looked up pictures of this certain group of people, and my heart was so troubled at the thoughts of seeing younger kids holding signs reading "God hates Fags." This is how these kids are being raised! This is what God is to them...this is their foundation they are going to hold on to with their faith. I was crushed. I was hardened...I was furious! How would these people miss the purpose of God's coming to earth? How could they call themselves Christians? How can they fall in love and serve a God that, they don't believe, loves all of us?
I had a discussion with my co-workers on this, and I must say I became rather absorbed on the topic. I started to spew word vomit, and soon wasn't able to hold back what was coming out of my mouth. Later that day, one lady that works with me stopped me and hugged me, saying that she was so thankful I had said what I did. Another guy who works with us was in the room, and she told me that he believes that homosexuals are perverts, and would stand up with Westboro's views. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe homosexuality is acceptable...but neither is lying or stealing or murdering. I have no right to judge...so I don't. My man friend here would judge....but he didn't while I was talking. This lady was thankful for my words, and said that if that wasn't me being passionate, she wants to see me unleash my "fury." God used me today with my co-workers.
In all honesty, I don't want to go to this funeral to protest the protest. That was part of my intention...but I want to because this death hits harder to home for me than I realized. I did not know Don, nor any of his family (to my knowledge anyway)...but knowing the age of this man and relating this to my brother...I felt obligated to show my support. If this was my brother, coming home for our country, I would want the support. I would want to know that people really did appreciate his sacrifice...and I would be touched. Do unto others as you would have done unto you...Thank God for men like Don and Dan who are willing to give themselves to the brutality of training for this position...and sacrifice their lives after that.
I get letters from Dan, and he keeps saying "I have conquered." I am so excited to read those words! I remember growing up with Dan...watching him play his sports and try so hard...only to have the boys with "the right name" get to start on varsity. My brother watched most of the games, and was hesitant to really show his true potential. Now, he can...and he has conquered! I am so thankful for my brother! He has taught me so much about fighting and being a marine for Christ...I am so excited when he comes home from training early this next month!
Mime performances:
We had finished our last mime performance tonight, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to be part of a spiritual movement like this. I had battled physical aches...but God put those aside pretty easy. The kicker was my emotional battles. My true weakness...and it still kicks me. I am thankful God can help me to remove myself of that to help others with their attacks, and I have realized more about myself as a woman for Christ through all the attacks and parts I played:
A mother and her child...suffering from grief and the choice of divorce
A lepore, yearning to be healed and touched
An adultress, in anguish of her past sins and judgement
A disciple of Christ, crying at the foot of the cross with His blood dripping
...Dripping for me. I am touched and healed...because of His blood dripping for me.
My past sins have been spared judgement...because of His blood dripping for me.
My grief of emotional and spiritual separation has been spared...because of His blood dripping for me.
My tears have been wiped from my face, because of His blood dripping for me.
That's how much Jesus loves me. To Him, I am irresistible! I am the adultress woman, I am the woman with leprosy. I am yearning to be touched and forgiven, and Jesus did that for me. Jesus came from His paradise in Heaven...His comfort zone with His Father...and He dwelt among us...
Good Friday:
Jesus suffered for me. He put Himself under us, served us...the Son of the Creator Himself came down here to serve us!! That blows my mind. He served us because we messed up. We goofed His perfect plan...and we separated ourselves from God. So...God gave up His Son, Jesus, to humble Himself as a baby and grow up among us. Among the wicked...the ones that messed it all up.
Jesus remained in contact with God, and stayed faithful to His Father's wishes despite all the times He may have wanted to call it quits. He could have just told everyone to screw off as they were testing Him. He could have let Satan win during the temptations. He could have easily told His Father "These people aren't worth this. Even my disciples don't understand me!" ...but He didn't. He stayed true. He fought for us. He went to the cross for us. Jesus was physically tortured as He was whipped and beaten. Jesus was emotionally beaten as He watched Peter deny Him...the same Peter that wanted to walk on the water with Jesus. The same Peter that said He would die for Jesus. He watched His mother cry in pain at the sight of her beloved son. Jesus felt His heavenly Father turn away...and was forsaken. Jesus trembled at the taunts of the crowd while He was on the cross "If you were really the Son of God, come and show us! Save yourself!"
Then, when we didn't think Jesus was going to hurt worse...He took ALL our sin upon Himself. Jesus...for the first time...felt sin in His life...and it was EVERYONE'S.
And Jesus knew this was coming...but He didn't back down. He didn't give in. He fought for us...and with His last breath, finished it. It tells me, I am worth it. I am so worth it...if Jesus could do this for me, I am so worth it. I am not worthy, but Jesus makes me feel beautiful. How many men would do what Jesus did? Probably none. How many men would make me feel like a princess that needed to be saved? None like Jesus.
Through Jesus, I am a beautiful woman, created with a purpose and a hope that can never be taken away from me. I am a mother at heart, and compassionate to those that need me. I am a woman willing to serve. I am a woman willing to love and give of myself. I am vulnerable. I am me because Jesus loves me, and because Good Friday occurred. No man would fight for me like that. Some will, and hopefully one will try his hardest to get me someday...but none will add up to how Jesus won me over. My heart is His.
I will finish my heart vomit with some songs. One is a song that I would love to have blaring as we stand in honor of Don...and will probably share with my brother as he comes home. The second is my heart speaking praises for being so beautiful through Jesus.
"Welcome Home (You)"
When I left home to be who I am
Some people said "No Way"
But I laid it all down, gave everything
In my head rang the words that my father said
You're never far
I will be where you are
and when you come to me
I will open my arms
Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face.
When I look at you holding my heart
I will give to you all that I have
Son I know there'll be times
You will feel all alone
I will share with you the words my father said
Said I've been waiting for that day
Just to feel your warm embrace
Your love has shown
I will never be alone
You will welcome me home
I'll forever be
You will say to me
Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face
When I left home to be who I am
Some people said "No Way"
I stand amazed in the presence
Of Jesus the Nazarene,
And wonder how He could love me,
A sinner, condemned, unclean.
Chorus:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
Is my Savior's love for me!
He took my sins and my sorrows,
He made them His very own;
He bore the burden to Calvary,
And suffered and died alone.
When with the ransomed in glory
His face I at last shall see,
’Twill be my joy through the ages
To sing of His love for me.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
"I Am"
I just read these lyrics to a Jill Phillips song, "I Am" and wanted to share this with you.
Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest
The tide can change so fast,
But I will stay
The same through the past,
The same in future, same today
I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
Your heart's desires
Oh weary, tired and worn,
Let out your sighs
And drop that heavy load you hold
Cause Mine is light
I know you through and through;
There's no need to hide
I want to show you love
That is deep and high and wide
I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
Your heart's desires
Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest
Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest
The tide can change so fast,
But I will stay
The same through the past,
The same in future, same today
I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
Your heart's desires
Oh weary, tired and worn,
Let out your sighs
And drop that heavy load you hold
Cause Mine is light
I know you through and through;
There's no need to hide
I want to show you love
That is deep and high and wide
I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
Your heart's desires
Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest
Impressed I Is...Much Growth There Has Been
Something brief and very random, but something that I feel I should share with the world about my personal growth.
The last time I lost my phone, (which was at college) I remember throwing this HUGE fit. I was crying, digging outside in the snow for hours, and getting really impatient with the fact that my lifeline was no longer attached to my hip. I was rather pathetic.
Today, I lost my phone again...but instead of having my blood pressure raised over it, I have been calmly retracing my steps. I didn't break a sweat, and told myself that I could always get a new one, and that the important contacts that I needed in my phone would not be hard to get again. Besides, I need a new phone/plan anyway, so why not now?
My mom facebooks (I love how this is a verb now) me and tells me that a girl calls her saying that she has my phone, so now I am just waiting to be united with it once again.
The moral of the story...in my journey, I have really learned to just let things happen and if things go wrong in my eyes, I know God's always got my back. Even if it is just losing a cell phone. It's material. I can get a new one. It's not my lifeline. It's not as important anymore.
God really worked on my heart in so many ways, and tonight was just Him showing me how I have changed. Nice assurance.
As I wrote this, the girl came into Duos and gave me my phone back. She said "If I ever lost my phone, I would hope that someone would go out of their way to return it to me." I was touched, and she looked like she was only 16. How wonderful of a reminder it was to live a recent version of "The Good Samaritan."
How can you be a Good Samaritan and go out of your way for others? Do unto others as you would want to have done unto you.
The last time I lost my phone, (which was at college) I remember throwing this HUGE fit. I was crying, digging outside in the snow for hours, and getting really impatient with the fact that my lifeline was no longer attached to my hip. I was rather pathetic.
Today, I lost my phone again...but instead of having my blood pressure raised over it, I have been calmly retracing my steps. I didn't break a sweat, and told myself that I could always get a new one, and that the important contacts that I needed in my phone would not be hard to get again. Besides, I need a new phone/plan anyway, so why not now?
My mom facebooks (I love how this is a verb now) me and tells me that a girl calls her saying that she has my phone, so now I am just waiting to be united with it once again.
The moral of the story...in my journey, I have really learned to just let things happen and if things go wrong in my eyes, I know God's always got my back. Even if it is just losing a cell phone. It's material. I can get a new one. It's not my lifeline. It's not as important anymore.
God really worked on my heart in so many ways, and tonight was just Him showing me how I have changed. Nice assurance.
As I wrote this, the girl came into Duos and gave me my phone back. She said "If I ever lost my phone, I would hope that someone would go out of their way to return it to me." I was touched, and she looked like she was only 16. How wonderful of a reminder it was to live a recent version of "The Good Samaritan."
How can you be a Good Samaritan and go out of your way for others? Do unto others as you would want to have done unto you.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Holy One, I Need a Father
Here are the lyrics to two songs we are using in our Mime performance, and they have become songs that my heart has absorbed recently.
Because of what Jesus did, we can run to God as our Father. We have been forgiven of our ugly sins, and now have a special place in Heaven with our Father. Until then, we need to constantly ask for our Father to fill us with His Holy Spirit. He is the Holy One, and we can't do anything in this life without Him.
Ask our Father, whom we need daily, to fill you up.
:I Need a Father:
Hold me somebody
Don't let me be alone
Love me, stay with me
I am dying to be known
My heart cries out
I need a Father
Whose love will never fail me
A friend like no other
Whose trusted arms will hold me
I need a Father
I am wounded
But I tuck the pain away
Free me, heal me
I don't want to be afraid
My heart cries out
Here's my heart
Be tender, please
Let me know your love for me
Here's my heart
I'm on my knees
I will trust
'Cause I believe
You are my Father
Your love will never fail me
A friend like no other
Your trusted arms will hold me
You are my Father
:Holy One:
Face to the ground, I'm not proud
Of all You must see when You look at me
I tremble at first, as You wash the dirt
The dirt from my feet
And I see my need for Thee
You lift me up, holy One, holy One
When I but come, You're enough
You're enough
You fill me up with Your love,
With Your love
To You I run, holy One, holy One
All other noises fade away
Like all of the fear when Your voice I hear
You're beckoning me to come and just be
A child at Your feet
Seeing my need for Thee
You lift me up, holy One, holy One
When I but come, You're enough
You're enough
You fill me up with Your love,
With Your love
To You I run, holy One, holy One
You're enough to satisfy
When the world has left me only dry
Enough to save my life
When the world has left me here to die
You lift me up, holy One, holy One
When I but come, You're enough
You're enough
You fill me up with Your love,
With Your love
To You I run, holy One, holy One
Because of what Jesus did, we can run to God as our Father. We have been forgiven of our ugly sins, and now have a special place in Heaven with our Father. Until then, we need to constantly ask for our Father to fill us with His Holy Spirit. He is the Holy One, and we can't do anything in this life without Him.
Ask our Father, whom we need daily, to fill you up.
:I Need a Father:
Hold me somebody
Don't let me be alone
Love me, stay with me
I am dying to be known
My heart cries out
I need a Father
Whose love will never fail me
A friend like no other
Whose trusted arms will hold me
I need a Father
I am wounded
But I tuck the pain away
Free me, heal me
I don't want to be afraid
My heart cries out
Here's my heart
Be tender, please
Let me know your love for me
Here's my heart
I'm on my knees
I will trust
'Cause I believe
You are my Father
Your love will never fail me
A friend like no other
Your trusted arms will hold me
You are my Father
:Holy One:
Face to the ground, I'm not proud
Of all You must see when You look at me
I tremble at first, as You wash the dirt
The dirt from my feet
And I see my need for Thee
You lift me up, holy One, holy One
When I but come, You're enough
You're enough
You fill me up with Your love,
With Your love
To You I run, holy One, holy One
All other noises fade away
Like all of the fear when Your voice I hear
You're beckoning me to come and just be
A child at Your feet
Seeing my need for Thee
You lift me up, holy One, holy One
When I but come, You're enough
You're enough
You fill me up with Your love,
With Your love
To You I run, holy One, holy One
You're enough to satisfy
When the world has left me only dry
Enough to save my life
When the world has left me here to die
You lift me up, holy One, holy One
When I but come, You're enough
You're enough
You fill me up with Your love,
With Your love
To You I run, holy One, holy One
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Powerful and Selfless Savior
Matthew 21:21-22
Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
Isn't this incredible? I find this statement by Jesus to be truly amazing. We were talking about Matthew 21 in young adult group, and this passage mainly stayed with me as we finished.
The context of this passage falls under a few main things:
1) Jesus is in the middle of His death march. He is days away from fulfilling His ultimate purpose...and knows it.
2) He had just finished cursing the fig branch because it had not grown any fruit on it. The disciples were amazed and asked how that could happen so quickly.
First off, Jesus just caused a fig tree to whither instantly before His disciples eyes. They were amazed. His response to their amazement (passage stated above) pretty much says "through me, all things are possible...as long as you believe."
As long as we believe..." If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Does this mean that we will get anything we want? Do I pray with the intentions of getting what I ask for? That's what Jesus is saying isn't it?
Well, no. Sorry. I have prayed for some things and have not seen my wishes come true in that regard. In fact, I have been close and rejected to many things. Does God ignore my prayers? I can tell you this...He has answered different prayers by waiting with others. Maybe a while ago I asked for patience, or a more independent heart...or maybe even prayed that I can become more submissive to God. I may have encountered an "ignored prayer" by having another one answered because of that. My answer to this prayer may be years away. I just can't see it.
Anyway, what this is saying is that our motives for praying should not reflect on the fact we will get it, but the fact that God can give it. If we believe God can do it, it doesn't matter if He will or won't. We need to remember that God does answer every prayer...we just forget that there are three different answers we will get. He doesn't ignore it. He will answer it. "Yes" "No" Yes, but not now (or No, but maybe later)" If we get a No it doesn't mean God didn't answer our prayer. He did. We just may not like that answer...but He answered it.
God is powerful enough to even make the impossible happen. Rest assured...God may be putting something on your heart to develop patience, endurance, and even draw you closer to Him to avoid your own faults. He may be doing something to keep you aware of a possibility in your life that shouldn't be happening right now...but it might happen later. God's timing is key.
Reflect on how awesome God is for a minute...just how powerful this being really is...
Quick and recent story for me...my parents were in the middle of the huge tornado outbreak in NW Iowa this weekend. My family literally stared at the finger of God measuring about a quarter of a mile wide, heading right for their house. Storm spotters said that the tornado had lifted up just before it hit their place. Their territory was left untouched. The neighbors area however, suffered. Buildings were destroyed (except their house). I serve a God that can wipe out buildings with a finger....barely a finger...but I also serve a God that can answer my prayers to keep my family safe.
When I felt the news about this, I was in the middle of a mad rush at Duos. I barely had time to stop and pray, so I did while I was making coffees. I didn't even get chances to check my phone for results until a few minutes after they were sent. I really felt Satan using this to tear me down, stress me out, and take my focus away on how awesome my God is. It says in Psalms to resist the devil and he will flee from you. So resist. I fully believe, especially after this occurrence, that anything Satan intends for evil God can use for good. Satan was using this disaster to break me down and turn my focus from God. God used it for me to trust Him more and made it more real to me just what kind of God I serve. Satan brings little curve balls in other struggles I go through, and really plays with my heart. God uses it to mold me. God uses it for me to keep seeking and running to Him. John 16:33, Jesus says at the end of that verse "...for I have overcome the world." THAT is how awesome my God is. This God can give me anything I ask for, because He is able to. Doesn't mean He will, but He can and I believe He can.
Do you? Reflect on how awesome God truly is.
Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
Isn't this incredible? I find this statement by Jesus to be truly amazing. We were talking about Matthew 21 in young adult group, and this passage mainly stayed with me as we finished.
The context of this passage falls under a few main things:
1) Jesus is in the middle of His death march. He is days away from fulfilling His ultimate purpose...and knows it.
2) He had just finished cursing the fig branch because it had not grown any fruit on it. The disciples were amazed and asked how that could happen so quickly.
First off, Jesus just caused a fig tree to whither instantly before His disciples eyes. They were amazed. His response to their amazement (passage stated above) pretty much says "through me, all things are possible...as long as you believe."
As long as we believe..." If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Does this mean that we will get anything we want? Do I pray with the intentions of getting what I ask for? That's what Jesus is saying isn't it?
Well, no. Sorry. I have prayed for some things and have not seen my wishes come true in that regard. In fact, I have been close and rejected to many things. Does God ignore my prayers? I can tell you this...He has answered different prayers by waiting with others. Maybe a while ago I asked for patience, or a more independent heart...or maybe even prayed that I can become more submissive to God. I may have encountered an "ignored prayer" by having another one answered because of that. My answer to this prayer may be years away. I just can't see it.
Anyway, what this is saying is that our motives for praying should not reflect on the fact we will get it, but the fact that God can give it. If we believe God can do it, it doesn't matter if He will or won't. We need to remember that God does answer every prayer...we just forget that there are three different answers we will get. He doesn't ignore it. He will answer it. "Yes" "No" Yes, but not now (or No, but maybe later)" If we get a No it doesn't mean God didn't answer our prayer. He did. We just may not like that answer...but He answered it.
God is powerful enough to even make the impossible happen. Rest assured...God may be putting something on your heart to develop patience, endurance, and even draw you closer to Him to avoid your own faults. He may be doing something to keep you aware of a possibility in your life that shouldn't be happening right now...but it might happen later. God's timing is key.
Reflect on how awesome God is for a minute...just how powerful this being really is...
Quick and recent story for me...my parents were in the middle of the huge tornado outbreak in NW Iowa this weekend. My family literally stared at the finger of God measuring about a quarter of a mile wide, heading right for their house. Storm spotters said that the tornado had lifted up just before it hit their place. Their territory was left untouched. The neighbors area however, suffered. Buildings were destroyed (except their house). I serve a God that can wipe out buildings with a finger....barely a finger...but I also serve a God that can answer my prayers to keep my family safe.
When I felt the news about this, I was in the middle of a mad rush at Duos. I barely had time to stop and pray, so I did while I was making coffees. I didn't even get chances to check my phone for results until a few minutes after they were sent. I really felt Satan using this to tear me down, stress me out, and take my focus away on how awesome my God is. It says in Psalms to resist the devil and he will flee from you. So resist. I fully believe, especially after this occurrence, that anything Satan intends for evil God can use for good. Satan was using this disaster to break me down and turn my focus from God. God used it for me to trust Him more and made it more real to me just what kind of God I serve. Satan brings little curve balls in other struggles I go through, and really plays with my heart. God uses it to mold me. God uses it for me to keep seeking and running to Him. John 16:33, Jesus says at the end of that verse "...for I have overcome the world." THAT is how awesome my God is. This God can give me anything I ask for, because He is able to. Doesn't mean He will, but He can and I believe He can.
Do you? Reflect on how awesome God truly is.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Next Step
Jesus, you have given me a foundation to base my life on.
Then you gave me a chance to learn about your love for everyone down here.
Then you took away my comfort and made me find my peace in you alone.
Then you taught me to be submissive to your will no matter what that means.
You have also molded me into a woman that is more passive to your will.
I also learned to feel what it really is like to be your beloved.
Now, you are teaching me about your power and character. You are going to show me how you were back in the Old Testament...and that you haven't changed. You are showing me just what role I play in this crazy warfare...and you are revealing to me my gifts for my other fellow believers. I am a spirit in a body, and I am being molded into your plan as this war progresses. Reveal to me my gifts, and grant me the ones that will better glorify your name. Humble my spirit to understand I can't do everything, but you have a specific role for me in the work I do. Help me to seek that out now as I take my next lap in my run towards you.
Then you gave me a chance to learn about your love for everyone down here.
Then you took away my comfort and made me find my peace in you alone.
Then you taught me to be submissive to your will no matter what that means.
You have also molded me into a woman that is more passive to your will.
I also learned to feel what it really is like to be your beloved.
Now, you are teaching me about your power and character. You are going to show me how you were back in the Old Testament...and that you haven't changed. You are showing me just what role I play in this crazy warfare...and you are revealing to me my gifts for my other fellow believers. I am a spirit in a body, and I am being molded into your plan as this war progresses. Reveal to me my gifts, and grant me the ones that will better glorify your name. Humble my spirit to understand I can't do everything, but you have a specific role for me in the work I do. Help me to seek that out now as I take my next lap in my run towards you.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Pure to....Not so Pure
This weekend was a very VERY intense weekend for myself and a group of individuals involved in our mime, The Great Saga. It's a passion mime, going through the real meaning of the Easter season and explaining as best as we can just how much God loves us.
These past few months have done a number on me, and I can see myself as an entirely different person through all this. Just recently, I had really been taken by a part I play...and honestly act out for like 10 seconds. I can't spoil the whole show...but it really made me think of myself as a mother and wife...and how much divorce really hurts. At one point, I got so into the character that I bawled because it hurt so much to pull my (fake) wedding ring off and even imply that divorce was about to happen in my character.
I sat back and thought about that perfect plan called marriage...that symbolism of God and us as the Church. We corrupt it with divorce. We destroyed something that God made so precious...and I can't do that. It hurt enough to act out, but to have it happen in my life would be unbearable.
Today in our sermon at Grace, my pastor talked about Jesus riding into Jerusalem and turning the tables in the temple. He hinted at how Jesus was using that to symbolize that He would eventually destroy the temple system because it had become too corrupt. What other things has God made so pure and perfect that we corrupt with our sinful natures?
We had the flood to name one...but what about in your own lives? I know that God had placed my past relationship on me with pure intentions...but I was a stupid, needy, and physical woman who ruined that perfect relationship. I had neglected my walk and growth with Jesus, so it was taken away. I wasn't the only one with mistakes, but I wasn't really listening to God anymore.
Marriage was a pure thing that we corrupted with divorce. I hadn't ever really felt the pain about it...in fact I thought for the longest time that divorce should have happened in my family to make it easier to live with my parents. Now I am so sorry I even uttered those words. I am proud of my parents for sticking it out and still being committed...and I am so sorry that I thought something so corrupt would be such a good answer to my problems. It should never be the answer.
I want to avoid divorce by not making the same mistakes I made in my past relationship, and I want to pursue God in everything. I don't want to pursue anything outside of that. I don't want to initiate anything. If anything, I want to be chased and pursued. As Jesus' bride, I realize that I became His bride because He went out of His way and gave everything for me. I want my future husband to do just that...to chase me. I was a very strong woman who wanted to be tough and independent, and even start something. I can't. That's not how God wanted it. I am sitting and pursuing God because He pursued me. He chose me, and chased me. That's how it's supposed to me for me. I have a peace in realizing this.
Reflecting back on the corrupt, what things in your life have been given to you pure, and taken away corrupt? Why did that happen, and how can you keep it from happening again? That is my challenge to you all this week (or until my next blog post). How can we keep the pure from becoming corrupt?
These past few months have done a number on me, and I can see myself as an entirely different person through all this. Just recently, I had really been taken by a part I play...and honestly act out for like 10 seconds. I can't spoil the whole show...but it really made me think of myself as a mother and wife...and how much divorce really hurts. At one point, I got so into the character that I bawled because it hurt so much to pull my (fake) wedding ring off and even imply that divorce was about to happen in my character.
I sat back and thought about that perfect plan called marriage...that symbolism of God and us as the Church. We corrupt it with divorce. We destroyed something that God made so precious...and I can't do that. It hurt enough to act out, but to have it happen in my life would be unbearable.
Today in our sermon at Grace, my pastor talked about Jesus riding into Jerusalem and turning the tables in the temple. He hinted at how Jesus was using that to symbolize that He would eventually destroy the temple system because it had become too corrupt. What other things has God made so pure and perfect that we corrupt with our sinful natures?
We had the flood to name one...but what about in your own lives? I know that God had placed my past relationship on me with pure intentions...but I was a stupid, needy, and physical woman who ruined that perfect relationship. I had neglected my walk and growth with Jesus, so it was taken away. I wasn't the only one with mistakes, but I wasn't really listening to God anymore.
Marriage was a pure thing that we corrupted with divorce. I hadn't ever really felt the pain about it...in fact I thought for the longest time that divorce should have happened in my family to make it easier to live with my parents. Now I am so sorry I even uttered those words. I am proud of my parents for sticking it out and still being committed...and I am so sorry that I thought something so corrupt would be such a good answer to my problems. It should never be the answer.
I want to avoid divorce by not making the same mistakes I made in my past relationship, and I want to pursue God in everything. I don't want to pursue anything outside of that. I don't want to initiate anything. If anything, I want to be chased and pursued. As Jesus' bride, I realize that I became His bride because He went out of His way and gave everything for me. I want my future husband to do just that...to chase me. I was a very strong woman who wanted to be tough and independent, and even start something. I can't. That's not how God wanted it. I am sitting and pursuing God because He pursued me. He chose me, and chased me. That's how it's supposed to me for me. I have a peace in realizing this.
Reflecting back on the corrupt, what things in your life have been given to you pure, and taken away corrupt? Why did that happen, and how can you keep it from happening again? That is my challenge to you all this week (or until my next blog post). How can we keep the pure from becoming corrupt?
Friday, April 1, 2011
Jesus, I'm Listening
I am doing a Bible study with some wonderful young ladies about learning how we can better hear God, and how God speaks to us. We are also touching on submitting ourselves to God, which in itself is a huge way that we can begin to listen to Him.
I am really a fan of Romans chapter 8, and should memorize this chapter honestly. I would like to highlight however, one section outside this chapter:
Romans 1:18-23.
"The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--His eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."
----Everywhere we look, we see something God has done. God's creation is all around us! We are reminded of his divine spirit in everything. How can we look at a tree, the birds, or even a giant F5 tornado and say "God does not exist"? He has made his presence very clear to us.----
"For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles."
----Ever since the fall of man, we have this barrier in our path between us and God...it's called sin. I like to think that in all these verses in the Bible that reflect seeking after God and submitting to Him, that my sin barrier can diminish...but never fully disappear.
Here is an example of a sin barrier growing thicker. If I do not praise God for all the good in my life, I draw further away. If I do not look to God and seek Him in everything in my life, my wall gets thicker. My words are no longer as inspired by the Holy Spirit, and my motives become more focused on man than God.---
Romans 8:5 reads "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires."
What is keeping your sin barrier thicker than it should be with God? What things do you desire that are constantly keeping you distant from God's plan for your life? Do you live according to that addiction, or attraction, or even attention? If so, drop it. Drop it now. The next verse reads "The mind of the sinful man is death..." Seek after God. To love God above all else is to be able to say "I will give up EVERYTHING for you." Not just "Yeah, you're okay, but I really like this better...so I won't give that up for you." I love you Jesus, but I love this sin more. *Sin barrier gets thicker*
And remember, community is very important, but God's company is the best you will ever get. If you keep putting up the barrier, how can you ever feel His peace to the fullest? I am disgusted with the fact I can't...but when I do...I would hope to give up anything to keep that peace. Someday I can give up my body, and let that sin barrier stay behind with it! I hope you all can be as excited about this as I am.
So start busting down your sin barrier today.
I am really a fan of Romans chapter 8, and should memorize this chapter honestly. I would like to highlight however, one section outside this chapter:
Romans 1:18-23.
"The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--His eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."
----Everywhere we look, we see something God has done. God's creation is all around us! We are reminded of his divine spirit in everything. How can we look at a tree, the birds, or even a giant F5 tornado and say "God does not exist"? He has made his presence very clear to us.----
"For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles."
----Ever since the fall of man, we have this barrier in our path between us and God...it's called sin. I like to think that in all these verses in the Bible that reflect seeking after God and submitting to Him, that my sin barrier can diminish...but never fully disappear.
Here is an example of a sin barrier growing thicker. If I do not praise God for all the good in my life, I draw further away. If I do not look to God and seek Him in everything in my life, my wall gets thicker. My words are no longer as inspired by the Holy Spirit, and my motives become more focused on man than God.---
Romans 8:5 reads "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires."
What is keeping your sin barrier thicker than it should be with God? What things do you desire that are constantly keeping you distant from God's plan for your life? Do you live according to that addiction, or attraction, or even attention? If so, drop it. Drop it now. The next verse reads "The mind of the sinful man is death..." Seek after God. To love God above all else is to be able to say "I will give up EVERYTHING for you." Not just "Yeah, you're okay, but I really like this better...so I won't give that up for you." I love you Jesus, but I love this sin more. *Sin barrier gets thicker*
And remember, community is very important, but God's company is the best you will ever get. If you keep putting up the barrier, how can you ever feel His peace to the fullest? I am disgusted with the fact I can't...but when I do...I would hope to give up anything to keep that peace. Someday I can give up my body, and let that sin barrier stay behind with it! I hope you all can be as excited about this as I am.
So start busting down your sin barrier today.
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