Withdraw and Pray

"But when even more the report about him went abroad, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities.  But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray."  

Luke 5:15-16

For a while I had been going and going and going in life on turbo drive.  I have been constantly thinking and working and pushing my tired body around to get the next thing done or serve this person or catch up in my own personal needs.  I would go to bed exhausted and sleep hard all night just to get up and do it again the next day.  This is my natural, my automatic mode I fall into if I am not careful.

After a while, I felt my heart struggling more.  More things irritated me, and especially during my special time of the month, I would see just the kind of person I tried not to be.  Words from friends and sermons stuck with me, but one was given by a dear friend that really solidified everything:

"Sometimes I am spiritually dehydrated and find no time to drink the living water God so freely gives.  Hydrate or die."  

Jesus would retreat to his Heavenly Father to recharge because he delighted and sought that personal time with God the Father. 

In Heaven, they were one.  Then Jesus and the Father "split" when Jesus came to earth.  He craved that unity.  He ministered to the people here as was his purpose, but his real delight was in God the Father and that one-on-one time. 

He did this to set an example for us as his followers in order to stay strong in the face of sin
and to remember the command, victory, and the course he was instructed to follow. 

The above verses in Luke remind me that it is crucial for me to find some place that I can be alone and pray...read...meditate...spend personal time with my heavenly Daddy.  

Our spirits crave this and need this.  We need the recharge, and Jesus gives us an excellent example to follow.  We need to find places away from people to recharge in Him.  Our quiet times should be uninterrupted just like if we were going on a date or out with a very close friend.  It is rude to pull out our cell phones and text while our attention should be on the person we are spending time with.  Why should this be any different with our Heavenly Father?   Turn the phone off, lock the door, do something that will keep your focus fully on your Father in Heaven.

If this is your desire, please pray with me and be prepared to fight for what you know you need to do to survive:

Dear Father, I want to crave that personal time with you.  I want to desire that unity with you.  Help me make the time to go out to a desolate place and spend sweet time with you in your Word and be hydrated in your Spirit.  Lord God it is only by your power that I can be the person I want to be, the person you call me to be.  Only by your power can I be like your Son.  Please help me Daddy.  I want to be with you. 

I love you all. 

Message in Our Marriage

As I am making the plans for our big day, I have found myself hitting several brick walls. 

When Harold and I started courting, we would go out once a week and have date nights.  Many times he would ask me "What do you want to do?" 

I couldn't give him many answers, because I didn't always know what I wanted to do.  I asked "Whatever you want to do, I'll join you." 

When planning life after college, I never really settled on what I wanted to do.  Not to brag on being selfless, but I didn't give much thought into what I wanted to do with my life.  I didn't have a Peace with anything. 

I came to a point in life where my response was "Whatever God called me to do."  I lived day to day, working where I was at, waiting for God to reveal the next area of life. 

Now that I am preparing for marriage with a wonderful, God-fearing man, I am finding this extremely difficult. 

What do I want? 

I have narrowed down a few big things already...you know...like colors, venues, location of wedding, stuff like that.  But in the details, things that don't always matter to me, I am finding it real hard to make a choice. 

Deep down, what Harold and I really want, is for the message of our marriage to be clear.  It isn't about us being served and honored in this time.  It's about how we are committing to serving God.  It's about our proclamation to everyone that our big day is God's day for us.  Our lives after the ceremony shouldn't be were we start to honor God in our marriage, but our preparation and the day itself should be a proclamation of how great our God is.  Our friendship, courting, and engagement should show it. 

That is what I really want.  I want God to be glorified.  I want the details to be given to Him and let God make our day special.  He has provided already with the abundance of support and help we both have received thus far.  In the planning, Harold and I have found many blessings.  I have no reason to complain or be upset with all that God has provided. 

Our big day is God's big day for us, and reflecting on how Harold and I have been called and drawn to each other is nothing but an act of God.  We are being joined to serve Him together.  Our day should honor that above all. 

Above what I want is what God wants.  He will reveal my heart to me in its time.  He already has, and I know He will be faithful to continue to do so.