While I was working today, I had a good conversation with a co-worker during our lunch period. She was talking to me about a discussion she had with a CNA on her floor about leading people to Christ and nourishing a new Christian. My friend didn't agree with the CNA's approach, and started to tell me that this lady said you have to constantly ask for forgiveness of every sin or it will be counted against your salvation. My friend disagreed and they ended up arguing about it.
Anyway, her and I talked and reflected on the conflict, and I started to look up scripture to find in myself a solution to the argument...or at least I thought I was finding a solution to THIS problem. I will just write down what Paul says in Chapter 8. So many things popped out, I will just write his words and let you all reflect on this within your own lives:
Romans 8:25-31
"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?"
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
An Experiment
I am going to try something different for this blog post. I am going to have this first part of my blog be the questions that are in my head right now. The troubles that I need help with, and the moments in my life that are really sticking out to me in my current state.
-My brother in basic (he is repelling this week, and learning to operate guns next week)
-My job being so wonderful to me! Oh the great affirmation and love I feel of Jesus every single day I work!
-Keeping this feeling in everything I do.
-The honor and the worry I have with the increasing responsibility I am being given.
-My relationship with my parents, especially my mother. I neglect calling and catching up with her and want to be a better daughter.
-Finding a way to make my desires unite with God's, and being very alert in knowing when that unity is supposed to come about...I realize more and more that whenever my desires get in the way of God, then I know it's not of God. When they unify with the peace I feel with God is when I know that's supposed to be there.
Now, I am going to read passages that I have lined up next in my section of studies that I try to accomplish weekly:
Matthew 19 and 20 -I didn't get through 19 from Young Adult Bible study last week-
Proverbs 24
Ezekiel 23:4-44
Genesis 1-3
Judges 6-9
The following is what I hear God saying to me through these passages:
Matthew 19
Pharisees use religious laws to trick Jesus. The wicked one uses scripture to catch us off guard...so we must guard our hearts, know and understand God's word, and listen to Jesus.
Me missing young adult group with this passage was affirmation enough for me to realize something about my own struggles and God's plan for my life right now.
Verse 9= So, my parents were right with God despite my views of their marriage...I don't want to be a good wife in spite of my parents' marriage anymore...now I want to be a good wife because of the fact my parents could stay right with God and themselves and be committed...even though it wasn't the most loving marriage ever...they didn't give up. I won't either.
Jesus calls those to be alone and single if it is revealed to them. Some can handle it, some cannot. If I must stay single, I can't argue with it. It will be revealed to me in time. Right now, I am at peace with where I am.
What keeps me from being with God, and is this keeping His children away as well? Now being part of Pulse, I can't have this happen. I can't be someone that will block others from getting to Christ.
I must have my motives right with God. I can't be giving my life away to be recognized or noticed by those down here, but because I want God's rewards in Heaven. If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of itself.
Chapter 20
God is generous to all who accept His "work and labor"...no matter where we start, we will all receive the same.
Verses 17-18= Jesus- "Bad will happen and I will suffer, but I am going to win!"
Our lives as Christians are going to be rough, and we will have hard times. Jesus conquered death, so will we conquer our biggest wars through God.
Now, James and John's mother was very bold and passionate...but not wise. I feel this is me right now. Personally, I have a HUGE heart to be with God and follow Him, but I find this to be run on emotions and feelings most of the time. I have a heard time using my brain in my walk with God. Sometimes I can, but my mind already has a hard time retrieving information quickly and effectively a majority of the time. I don't want to be rushing around on passion alone and make this mistake.
There is no high place for me down here on Earth. No matter what roles I am put in, and no matter what leadership I develop into, I am no ruler. I am still a servant, and shall remain that.
Verses 29-34= I need to fight against the crowd because I know what God can do. I will not run into something because others are pushing it greatly, but rather because my desires are at peace with God's.
Jesus had compassion on the less fortunate when others were disgusted...how can I be like Jesus in my work? By having constant compassion for them. Being a servant every day, and being a tool for God.
Proverbs 24 (A few verses here and there that really stuck out to me)
Verses 5-6 "A wise man has great power, and a man of knowledge increases strength; for waging war you need guidance, and for victory many advisers."
Verse 10 "If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!"
Verse 12 "If you say, 'But we knew nothing about this,' does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?"
Verse 24 "Whoever says to the guilty, 'You are innocent' peoples will curse him and nations denounce him."
Verse 26 "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips."
Verse 32 "I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw"
Ezekiel 23:4-44
Oholah and Oholibah were prostitutes stuck in their ways. Oholah was so blinded by her sin that it killed her. Oholibah "bore her sister's cup" (verse 32). Do I lust enough to where I will be handed over to it? Was my lust for a boyfriend so great, that I had been given into it already? Desecrated because of my desires? Was I already handed over to my desires, and now been delivered just as God continuously delivered the Israelites? I would believe so. I cannot let this happen again.
*Due to my exhaustion and lack of concentration for the rest of my biblical studies in depth, I will continue this experiment in the near future.
-My brother in basic (he is repelling this week, and learning to operate guns next week)
-My job being so wonderful to me! Oh the great affirmation and love I feel of Jesus every single day I work!
-Keeping this feeling in everything I do.
-The honor and the worry I have with the increasing responsibility I am being given.
-My relationship with my parents, especially my mother. I neglect calling and catching up with her and want to be a better daughter.
-Finding a way to make my desires unite with God's, and being very alert in knowing when that unity is supposed to come about...I realize more and more that whenever my desires get in the way of God, then I know it's not of God. When they unify with the peace I feel with God is when I know that's supposed to be there.
Now, I am going to read passages that I have lined up next in my section of studies that I try to accomplish weekly:
Matthew 19 and 20 -I didn't get through 19 from Young Adult Bible study last week-
Proverbs 24
Ezekiel 23:4-44
Genesis 1-3
Judges 6-9
The following is what I hear God saying to me through these passages:
Matthew 19
Pharisees use religious laws to trick Jesus. The wicked one uses scripture to catch us off guard...so we must guard our hearts, know and understand God's word, and listen to Jesus.
Me missing young adult group with this passage was affirmation enough for me to realize something about my own struggles and God's plan for my life right now.
Verse 9= So, my parents were right with God despite my views of their marriage...I don't want to be a good wife in spite of my parents' marriage anymore...now I want to be a good wife because of the fact my parents could stay right with God and themselves and be committed...even though it wasn't the most loving marriage ever...they didn't give up. I won't either.
Jesus calls those to be alone and single if it is revealed to them. Some can handle it, some cannot. If I must stay single, I can't argue with it. It will be revealed to me in time. Right now, I am at peace with where I am.
What keeps me from being with God, and is this keeping His children away as well? Now being part of Pulse, I can't have this happen. I can't be someone that will block others from getting to Christ.
I must have my motives right with God. I can't be giving my life away to be recognized or noticed by those down here, but because I want God's rewards in Heaven. If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of itself.
Chapter 20
God is generous to all who accept His "work and labor"...no matter where we start, we will all receive the same.
Verses 17-18= Jesus- "Bad will happen and I will suffer, but I am going to win!"
Our lives as Christians are going to be rough, and we will have hard times. Jesus conquered death, so will we conquer our biggest wars through God.
Now, James and John's mother was very bold and passionate...but not wise. I feel this is me right now. Personally, I have a HUGE heart to be with God and follow Him, but I find this to be run on emotions and feelings most of the time. I have a heard time using my brain in my walk with God. Sometimes I can, but my mind already has a hard time retrieving information quickly and effectively a majority of the time. I don't want to be rushing around on passion alone and make this mistake.
There is no high place for me down here on Earth. No matter what roles I am put in, and no matter what leadership I develop into, I am no ruler. I am still a servant, and shall remain that.
Verses 29-34= I need to fight against the crowd because I know what God can do. I will not run into something because others are pushing it greatly, but rather because my desires are at peace with God's.
Jesus had compassion on the less fortunate when others were disgusted...how can I be like Jesus in my work? By having constant compassion for them. Being a servant every day, and being a tool for God.
Proverbs 24 (A few verses here and there that really stuck out to me)
Verses 5-6 "A wise man has great power, and a man of knowledge increases strength; for waging war you need guidance, and for victory many advisers."
Verse 10 "If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!"
Verse 12 "If you say, 'But we knew nothing about this,' does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?"
Verse 24 "Whoever says to the guilty, 'You are innocent' peoples will curse him and nations denounce him."
Verse 26 "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips."
Verse 32 "I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw"
Ezekiel 23:4-44
Oholah and Oholibah were prostitutes stuck in their ways. Oholah was so blinded by her sin that it killed her. Oholibah "bore her sister's cup" (verse 32). Do I lust enough to where I will be handed over to it? Was my lust for a boyfriend so great, that I had been given into it already? Desecrated because of my desires? Was I already handed over to my desires, and now been delivered just as God continuously delivered the Israelites? I would believe so. I cannot let this happen again.
*Due to my exhaustion and lack of concentration for the rest of my biblical studies in depth, I will continue this experiment in the near future.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Uplifting Weekend
Even though this weekend wasn't one of great rest for me, it was a weekend that I truly had a good time with! Friday night I got together with a friend from college and had dinner and a movie. Such a good chance to catch up and just have a good time!
I ended up working at the Western Home Saturday until 3:30, which was amazing. My first activity that day was in the morning, and a lady was having a huge panic/dementia moment where she didn't know where she was and accusing the staff of keeping her family from seeing her. Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled to have her come in. Sure enough, I saw her there. I went up to say hi and asked how she was. She was calm, but very stern in her ways. I asked if she wanted to do the activity and she told me "No. And I don't want you to sit by me, so get the hell away from me." I politely got up and sat with the rest of the group, leaving her slightly out of the circle but still able to join in when/if she wanted.
We did a creative story writing activity (Mad Libs) and they had a BLAST! This lady was even laughing after she swore at me moments before...I was floored. Moments like this happen at least once a day, where I KNOW it wasn't me sitting in that room with the residents. It is so cool to be part of God's wonderful plan in making their lives worth living.
I ended up working Duos later that night, which was pretty slow to say the least. I had a few friends come in and hang out, and I heard about their mission trip weekend. I wish I could have gone, but I realize that I see little glimpses of this in my residents every day. It was good for the youth to see such a HUGE example of service and meekness in an individual whose life was pretty much down to nothing. Praise God for reality checks!
That night after I got off, a friend and I made a random and very impromptu run to Perkins, which was well needed! I hadn't gone out late like that for a while...plus it was a great chance for me to really get to have some girl time (which I was not really used to having).
Sunday, there was church...and I had found myself really pondering Pastor Jim's message on Mark 10. In here, Jesus talks to a very wealthy man who was honestly seeking to follow Jesus. However, he had to give up the one thing that was keeping his heart from fully trusting in God...his riches. The man walked away crushed, because he wasn't sure if he was willing to give THAT away.
What is on my heart that keeps me from really following Jesus? What parts of my life are keeping me from trusting in God? Do I have certain things/people that are keeping my worship away from Jesus? Are my motives being twisted to impress, or do I really...truly worship God? What haven't I given up yet?
Jim asked the question, "What is your greatest treasure?" I want it to be God...but is it that way 100%? I know that's not true no matter how much I am trying and praying for this to be the case. I know I need to "make the treasures in Heaven my greatest possession."
My heart is wicked, and only God can prepare me for His plan that He has already mapped for me. He is just turning me into the right person for this plan. "Change my heart, O God."
Now, in verse 28 of Chapter 10...I found myself relating to the disciples. Peter says, "We have left everything to follow you!" Here, they are saying "Look at us! We have done what you are saying!" I almost get a sense of pride out of this saying. "Look Jesus! We are good! We are just! We left our homes to follow you! We're doing everything!"
I catch myself saying this to God a lot... "I have given you my job, my future, my worries, my present, even my desires!" Sometimes the motive of pride rubs in there... "I am so godly and good! I am so close to you right now because I am doing everything right!"
Verses 29-31 pretty much says "No you haven't...it's not about the giving and sacrificing...it's how you do it." Did I give it up to impress people? Did I give it up because I know the goods things that will come? Jesus does say to seek the rewards of Heaven. Maybe I do. I know though, that by following God I receive an inner feeling of peace. I become more sensitive to those little feelings inside me that push me different directions in my daily life. I become more sensitive to the burdening feeling of Satan attacking me. I even became more sensitive to this happening in others. I can't be proud of this...I should embrace it in humble spirit because of God's endless mercy. All in all...the message today really just let me have a reality check on my life and my attitudes in my spiritual journey.
After church, I had my first Dungeon and Dragon session...which was amazing. I had a good time hanging with some guys in my church and being geeky! I also loved playing a character that I pretty much dreamed of. We will do it again next Sunday, which is awesome because we left the game in a spot where I was on the front edge of my seat.
After that, I ended up missing young adult group to go out and have some girl time for a friend's birthday. We went out to Red Lobster, which was SO good! My goodness...how awesome was this weekend! I am so thankful that God has given me such a wonderful group of people to hang out with! I get my girl fix, PLUS my nerdy geeky fix now with DnD!! How much more affirmation do I need from God to show that I belong here right now?
I know things this weekend for me had really clicked into place, and I began a little booklet that has all the verses that hold a specific purpose in my heart. There are times where I just need to have a set of verses one after the other for me to look at, so I am keeping a book that stays in my purse for those times where Satan is really kicking my butt. One saying that I found has really brought my conflicts into perspective...and now it stays on the front dash of my car. "Having a successful marriage isn't about finding the right person...it's about becoming the right person." This saying brought a sudden peace to my soul when I read it. I had known this and told myself this for so long...but this wording of the idea was what I needed. You tell yourself things like "I need to wait, and I know I need to wait. I have to worry about myself." In all honesty, this saying is how I should think about it. I won't find the right person, if I can't be the right person.
So God, help me to be a person spoken of in I Timothy 6:11..."Be thou, o man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, and meekness." Then I will know how I can be the right person for your wonderful plan for my life. Help me to be less proud of myself, and more proud of you for making me the way I am. Help me to keep looking to you for me...and no one else. Help me to really give you everything willingly, because I know what you can do! I can do this at work, and I can do this financially...but there are parts of me that I still hold on to, or give up and snatch back. Take it all. Jesus Christ, take all of me. I am yours anyway, so just take me! You claimed me when I accepted you, let me be your child 110% of the time.
Should this be your prayer? In the midst of your fun, remember that God is still working and teaching you. I had a full weekend, but found God speaking to me during many moments of it. Keep listening. Paul says to the Philippians in chapter 4 verse 9, "Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you."
I ended up working at the Western Home Saturday until 3:30, which was amazing. My first activity that day was in the morning, and a lady was having a huge panic/dementia moment where she didn't know where she was and accusing the staff of keeping her family from seeing her. Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled to have her come in. Sure enough, I saw her there. I went up to say hi and asked how she was. She was calm, but very stern in her ways. I asked if she wanted to do the activity and she told me "No. And I don't want you to sit by me, so get the hell away from me." I politely got up and sat with the rest of the group, leaving her slightly out of the circle but still able to join in when/if she wanted.
We did a creative story writing activity (Mad Libs) and they had a BLAST! This lady was even laughing after she swore at me moments before...I was floored. Moments like this happen at least once a day, where I KNOW it wasn't me sitting in that room with the residents. It is so cool to be part of God's wonderful plan in making their lives worth living.
I ended up working Duos later that night, which was pretty slow to say the least. I had a few friends come in and hang out, and I heard about their mission trip weekend. I wish I could have gone, but I realize that I see little glimpses of this in my residents every day. It was good for the youth to see such a HUGE example of service and meekness in an individual whose life was pretty much down to nothing. Praise God for reality checks!
That night after I got off, a friend and I made a random and very impromptu run to Perkins, which was well needed! I hadn't gone out late like that for a while...plus it was a great chance for me to really get to have some girl time (which I was not really used to having).
Sunday, there was church...and I had found myself really pondering Pastor Jim's message on Mark 10. In here, Jesus talks to a very wealthy man who was honestly seeking to follow Jesus. However, he had to give up the one thing that was keeping his heart from fully trusting in God...his riches. The man walked away crushed, because he wasn't sure if he was willing to give THAT away.
What is on my heart that keeps me from really following Jesus? What parts of my life are keeping me from trusting in God? Do I have certain things/people that are keeping my worship away from Jesus? Are my motives being twisted to impress, or do I really...truly worship God? What haven't I given up yet?
Jim asked the question, "What is your greatest treasure?" I want it to be God...but is it that way 100%? I know that's not true no matter how much I am trying and praying for this to be the case. I know I need to "make the treasures in Heaven my greatest possession."
My heart is wicked, and only God can prepare me for His plan that He has already mapped for me. He is just turning me into the right person for this plan. "Change my heart, O God."
Now, in verse 28 of Chapter 10...I found myself relating to the disciples. Peter says, "We have left everything to follow you!" Here, they are saying "Look at us! We have done what you are saying!" I almost get a sense of pride out of this saying. "Look Jesus! We are good! We are just! We left our homes to follow you! We're doing everything!"
I catch myself saying this to God a lot... "I have given you my job, my future, my worries, my present, even my desires!" Sometimes the motive of pride rubs in there... "I am so godly and good! I am so close to you right now because I am doing everything right!"
Verses 29-31 pretty much says "No you haven't...it's not about the giving and sacrificing...it's how you do it." Did I give it up to impress people? Did I give it up because I know the goods things that will come? Jesus does say to seek the rewards of Heaven. Maybe I do. I know though, that by following God I receive an inner feeling of peace. I become more sensitive to those little feelings inside me that push me different directions in my daily life. I become more sensitive to the burdening feeling of Satan attacking me. I even became more sensitive to this happening in others. I can't be proud of this...I should embrace it in humble spirit because of God's endless mercy. All in all...the message today really just let me have a reality check on my life and my attitudes in my spiritual journey.
After church, I had my first Dungeon and Dragon session...which was amazing. I had a good time hanging with some guys in my church and being geeky! I also loved playing a character that I pretty much dreamed of. We will do it again next Sunday, which is awesome because we left the game in a spot where I was on the front edge of my seat.
After that, I ended up missing young adult group to go out and have some girl time for a friend's birthday. We went out to Red Lobster, which was SO good! My goodness...how awesome was this weekend! I am so thankful that God has given me such a wonderful group of people to hang out with! I get my girl fix, PLUS my nerdy geeky fix now with DnD!! How much more affirmation do I need from God to show that I belong here right now?
I know things this weekend for me had really clicked into place, and I began a little booklet that has all the verses that hold a specific purpose in my heart. There are times where I just need to have a set of verses one after the other for me to look at, so I am keeping a book that stays in my purse for those times where Satan is really kicking my butt. One saying that I found has really brought my conflicts into perspective...and now it stays on the front dash of my car. "Having a successful marriage isn't about finding the right person...it's about becoming the right person." This saying brought a sudden peace to my soul when I read it. I had known this and told myself this for so long...but this wording of the idea was what I needed. You tell yourself things like "I need to wait, and I know I need to wait. I have to worry about myself." In all honesty, this saying is how I should think about it. I won't find the right person, if I can't be the right person.
So God, help me to be a person spoken of in I Timothy 6:11..."Be thou, o man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, and meekness." Then I will know how I can be the right person for your wonderful plan for my life. Help me to be less proud of myself, and more proud of you for making me the way I am. Help me to keep looking to you for me...and no one else. Help me to really give you everything willingly, because I know what you can do! I can do this at work, and I can do this financially...but there are parts of me that I still hold on to, or give up and snatch back. Take it all. Jesus Christ, take all of me. I am yours anyway, so just take me! You claimed me when I accepted you, let me be your child 110% of the time.
Should this be your prayer? In the midst of your fun, remember that God is still working and teaching you. I had a full weekend, but found God speaking to me during many moments of it. Keep listening. Paul says to the Philippians in chapter 4 verse 9, "Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you."
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
4 Woman
I am doing a study for myself, going through many woman of the Bible and reflecting on how I can be like them. Instead of telling you what I have learned from them, I will give you 4 woman that I have looked at so far that really left a calling in my heart.
Guys...sorry. Maybe you can find something about these ladies you want to reflect.
Girls...soak it in. How can you be like them?
Abigail (I Samuel 25)
Abishag (I King 1-2)
Deborah and Jael (Judges 3:5-5:31)
Leave comments if you feel called to. I enjoy hearing what other people hear God tell them.
Guys...sorry. Maybe you can find something about these ladies you want to reflect.
Girls...soak it in. How can you be like them?
Abigail (I Samuel 25)
Abishag (I King 1-2)
Deborah and Jael (Judges 3:5-5:31)
Leave comments if you feel called to. I enjoy hearing what other people hear God tell them.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Fighting Back
Spiritually worn.
Emotionally weakened.
Mentally sore.
Then you feel him...on your back...playing with your heart.
He's grabbing that weakness and tearing you up.
You are exhausted everywhere, and he noticed....he strikes.
You feel a breakdown....so you run...to pray.
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want."
You wield your sword, and attack. For a moment, the hold on your heart is gone.
You walk back out again...only to be struck down once more with a shear presence.
Again you run to pray. You pray hard, deep...
"I rebuke you Satan, for you are not focused on the things above in heaven, but the things of man."
You slash again, to shake free from his grip.
You now seek community support, church leaders and guidance. You can feel him linger as you desperately listen for advice.
When no one is around, you turn on the radio...songs come up that you remember using the defeat Satan in your life previously. "Voice of Truth" appears....and then you hear static.
"Satan, not this time! Get away from me!!!" ....Static is gone....
"The voice of truth, tells me a different story. The voice of truth says do not be afraid. The voice of truth says this is for my glory."
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.
Emotionally weakened.
Mentally sore.
Then you feel him...on your back...playing with your heart.
He's grabbing that weakness and tearing you up.
You are exhausted everywhere, and he noticed....he strikes.
You feel a breakdown....so you run...to pray.
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want."
You wield your sword, and attack. For a moment, the hold on your heart is gone.
You walk back out again...only to be struck down once more with a shear presence.
Again you run to pray. You pray hard, deep...
"I rebuke you Satan, for you are not focused on the things above in heaven, but the things of man."
You slash again, to shake free from his grip.
You now seek community support, church leaders and guidance. You can feel him linger as you desperately listen for advice.
When no one is around, you turn on the radio...songs come up that you remember using the defeat Satan in your life previously. "Voice of Truth" appears....and then you hear static.
"Satan, not this time! Get away from me!!!" ....Static is gone....
"The voice of truth, tells me a different story. The voice of truth says do not be afraid. The voice of truth says this is for my glory."
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
No Longer In Control
She's sitting in the pew...she's thinking and praying for a direction. She's waiting in silence, listening.
As she walks up to the piano, she breathes and feels her self drift away. Her fingers are out of her control...her inner song is pouring out of her being. The music that is coming out of her motions is nothing that she had imagined, nor fully planned. It was as if...she wasn't even there.
She closed her eyes...she didn't even watch where her hands were going. They were led in a direction that she had no control of...so she let it happen. Her spirit was calm...her worries nonexistent. She became part of the music that she wasn't creating alone. Satan had no grip on her...Satan couldn't break the barrier that was formed through the music. She finally let herself fully go...mistakes happened and she continued. She was filled with the Holy Spirit completely...and didn't care what happened aside from that. She was strong....she was solid....she wasn't going to be beaten.
...Satan got his ass kicked tonight...
When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus
King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath
I'll bring You more than just a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus
Its all about you
Jesus
As she walks up to the piano, she breathes and feels her self drift away. Her fingers are out of her control...her inner song is pouring out of her being. The music that is coming out of her motions is nothing that she had imagined, nor fully planned. It was as if...she wasn't even there.
She closed her eyes...she didn't even watch where her hands were going. They were led in a direction that she had no control of...so she let it happen. Her spirit was calm...her worries nonexistent. She became part of the music that she wasn't creating alone. Satan had no grip on her...Satan couldn't break the barrier that was formed through the music. She finally let herself fully go...mistakes happened and she continued. She was filled with the Holy Spirit completely...and didn't care what happened aside from that. She was strong....she was solid....she wasn't going to be beaten.
...Satan got his ass kicked tonight...
When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus
King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath
I'll bring You more than just a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus
Its all about you
Jesus
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Hold My Heart
Today had been a very rewarding day for me, as well as a very trying day. I was able to share my testimony at Grace this morning, which was really awesome....I had made myself numerous notes of what I wanted to say, but didn't look once at it during my quick talk. The Spirit put on my heart what was important to share, and I felt it take over. I am so thankful for that.
I also felt the Spirit move through the music this morning too, and really had a moment of assurance for how circumstances turned out in my life. However, shortly after this I really felt Satan attacking me on my weaknesses again, dragging me down. When I am of calm spirit, I can hear God's guidance and peace in my heart. This afternoon I couldn't, and I was letting Satan really tear my heart apart. I was giving in, and really needed to cry out to Jesus.
I pulled out chords for the song "Hold My Heart" by Tenth Avenue North, and sang it at the top of my lungs on my electric as if crying to Jesus. I don't know how many times I went through that song, but I needed to keep singing it until I could really feel God's hold on my heart again.
Tonight, I went with some pretty spunky girls to see Awaken in Lake Mills. The garden scene used this same song I just talked about....only it held a much more powerful meaning.
How long must I pray, must I pray to You
How long must I wait, must I wait for You
How long 'till I see Your face
See You shining through.
I'm on my knees
Begging You to notice me
I'm on my knees
Father, will You turn to me, yeah?
Jesus, cried this to His Father. Our mighty and merciful savior...our king of king and lord of lords...cried these words. His time of torture was around the corner, and the pain was overbearing to the Son of the Creator. Think about that.
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the Maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life is all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart?
I always grow a deep passion to understand just what Jesus had to go through for us. I am always in awe at the level of love He has....and the level of pain He went through to have us. Jesus needed His Heavenly Father more than ever...so I don't feel ashamed to sit and cry to Jesus (If You're everything You say You are, would You come close and hold my heart?). My little problems don't feel too big when I keep thinking about what Jesus went through at the garden and his crucifixion. It keeps me in perspective on my life, and reminds me that if Jesus can keep looking up in all of that, I can surely try.
I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye
But if there's no other way
I'm done asking why
I give my heart to Jesus, but I want to keep grabbing it back....I argue with God about what's best for me still. Jesus did, but He ended each argument with "but your will be done" (But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why). I will take my cross in exchange for my heart. Is that such a fair trade?? I gave away my deepest treasure within me....for suffering?
Oh my friends...you have no idea. My heart is in the hands of the greatest artist ever known! The greatest romantic I will ever know...the one who sacrificed EVERYTHING to have me...I think my heart is safe. I can suffer a little so that my heart can stay safe and constantly purified. I can cry to the holder of my heart with tears streaming down, and He will embrace me every time.
Will you let Jesus hold your heart? Trust me....it couldn't be in better hands.
I also felt the Spirit move through the music this morning too, and really had a moment of assurance for how circumstances turned out in my life. However, shortly after this I really felt Satan attacking me on my weaknesses again, dragging me down. When I am of calm spirit, I can hear God's guidance and peace in my heart. This afternoon I couldn't, and I was letting Satan really tear my heart apart. I was giving in, and really needed to cry out to Jesus.
I pulled out chords for the song "Hold My Heart" by Tenth Avenue North, and sang it at the top of my lungs on my electric as if crying to Jesus. I don't know how many times I went through that song, but I needed to keep singing it until I could really feel God's hold on my heart again.
Tonight, I went with some pretty spunky girls to see Awaken in Lake Mills. The garden scene used this same song I just talked about....only it held a much more powerful meaning.
How long must I pray, must I pray to You
How long must I wait, must I wait for You
How long 'till I see Your face
See You shining through.
I'm on my knees
Begging You to notice me
I'm on my knees
Father, will You turn to me, yeah?
Jesus, cried this to His Father. Our mighty and merciful savior...our king of king and lord of lords...cried these words. His time of torture was around the corner, and the pain was overbearing to the Son of the Creator. Think about that.
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the Maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life is all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart?
I always grow a deep passion to understand just what Jesus had to go through for us. I am always in awe at the level of love He has....and the level of pain He went through to have us. Jesus needed His Heavenly Father more than ever...so I don't feel ashamed to sit and cry to Jesus (If You're everything You say You are, would You come close and hold my heart?). My little problems don't feel too big when I keep thinking about what Jesus went through at the garden and his crucifixion. It keeps me in perspective on my life, and reminds me that if Jesus can keep looking up in all of that, I can surely try.
I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye
But if there's no other way
I'm done asking why
I give my heart to Jesus, but I want to keep grabbing it back....I argue with God about what's best for me still. Jesus did, but He ended each argument with "but your will be done" (But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why). I will take my cross in exchange for my heart. Is that such a fair trade?? I gave away my deepest treasure within me....for suffering?
Oh my friends...you have no idea. My heart is in the hands of the greatest artist ever known! The greatest romantic I will ever know...the one who sacrificed EVERYTHING to have me...I think my heart is safe. I can suffer a little so that my heart can stay safe and constantly purified. I can cry to the holder of my heart with tears streaming down, and He will embrace me every time.
Will you let Jesus hold your heart? Trust me....it couldn't be in better hands.
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