An Experiment

I am going to try something different for this blog post.  I am going to have this first part of my blog be the questions that are in my head right now.  The troubles that I need help with, and the moments in my life that are really sticking out to me in my current state. 

-My brother in basic (he is repelling this week, and learning to operate guns next week)
-My job being so wonderful to me!  Oh the great affirmation and love I feel of Jesus every single day I work!
-Keeping this feeling in everything I do.
-The honor and the worry I have with the increasing responsibility I am being given.
-My relationship with my parents, especially my mother.  I neglect calling and catching up with her and want to be a better daughter.
-Finding a way to make my desires unite with God's, and being very alert in knowing when that unity is supposed to come about...I realize more and more that whenever my desires get in the way of God, then I know it's not of God.  When they unify with the peace I feel with God is when I know that's supposed to be there. 

Now, I am going to read passages that I have lined up next in my section of studies that I try to accomplish weekly:

Matthew 19 and 20 -I didn't get through 19 from Young Adult Bible study last week-
Proverbs 24
Ezekiel 23:4-44
Genesis 1-3 
Judges 6-9

The following is what I hear God saying to me through these passages: 

Matthew 19
Pharisees use religious laws to trick Jesus.  The wicked one uses scripture to catch us off guard...so we must guard our hearts, know and understand God's word, and listen to Jesus.
Me missing young adult group with this passage was affirmation enough for me to realize something about my own struggles and God's plan for my life right now. 

Verse 9= So, my parents were right with God despite my views of their marriage...I don't want to be a good wife in spite of my parents' marriage anymore...now I want to be a good wife because of the fact my parents could stay right with God and themselves and be committed...even though it wasn't the most loving marriage ever...they didn't give up.  I won't either.

Jesus calls those to be alone and single if it is revealed to them.  Some can handle it, some cannot.  If I must stay single, I can't argue with it.  It will be revealed to me in time.  Right now, I am at peace with where I am. 

What keeps me from being with God, and is this keeping His children away as well?  Now being part of Pulse, I can't have this happen.  I can't be someone that will block others from getting to Christ. 

I must have my motives right with God.  I can't be giving my life away to be recognized or noticed by those down here, but because I want God's rewards in Heaven.  If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of itself. 

Chapter 20

God is generous to all who accept His "work and labor"...no matter where we start, we will all receive the same.

Verses 17-18= Jesus- "Bad will happen and I will suffer, but I am going to win!"
Our lives as Christians are going to be rough, and we will have hard times.  Jesus conquered death, so will we conquer our biggest wars through God.

Now, James and John's mother was very bold and passionate...but not wise.  I feel this is me right now.  Personally, I have a HUGE heart to be with God and follow Him, but I find this to be run on emotions and feelings most of the time.  I have a heard time using my brain in my walk with God.  Sometimes I can, but my mind already has a hard time retrieving information quickly and effectively a majority of the time.  I don't want to be rushing around on passion alone and make this mistake. 

There is no high place for me down here on Earth.  No matter what roles I am put in, and no matter what leadership I develop into, I am no ruler.  I am still a servant, and shall remain that. 

Verses 29-34= I need to fight against the crowd because I know what God can do.  I will not run into something because others are pushing it greatly, but rather because my desires are at peace with God's. 
Jesus had compassion on the less fortunate when others were disgusted...how can I be like Jesus in my work?  By having constant compassion for them.  Being a servant every day, and being a tool for God.

Proverbs 24 (A few verses here and there that really stuck out to me)

Verses 5-6 "A wise man has great power, and a man of knowledge increases strength; for waging war you need guidance, and for victory many advisers."
Verse 10 "If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!"
Verse 12 "If you say, 'But we knew nothing about this,' does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?   Does not he who guards your life know it?  Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?"
Verse 24 "Whoever says to the guilty, 'You are innocent' peoples will curse him and nations denounce him."
Verse 26 "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips."
Verse 32 "I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw"

Ezekiel 23:4-44

Oholah and Oholibah were prostitutes stuck in their ways.  Oholah was so blinded by her sin that it killed her.  Oholibah "bore her sister's cup" (verse 32).  Do I lust enough to where I will be handed over to it?  Was my lust for a boyfriend so great, that I had been given into it already?  Desecrated because of my desires?  Was I already handed over to my desires, and now been delivered just as God continuously delivered the Israelites?  I would believe so.  I cannot let this happen again.

*Due to my exhaustion and lack of concentration for the rest of my biblical studies in depth, I will continue this experiment in the near future.