A Little Fall of Rain

So many times today, I prayed for release.  I had prayed for things to either resolve or just go away.  I prayed that my heart would just flee from whatever was causing this chaos.  If God wasn't going to do anything with this, I wanted it gone.  All day, I had been fighting within myself.  All day today, I had been lifting up countless times this conflict and concern in my heart...and even if for less than an hour....I got that relief.  

The rain pours down,
Each droplet splats against the ground. 
A run was needed today....
So why not run in the rain?

As I went outside,
Preparing for my usual route,
I was filled with peace
During a very hectic day.

Thoughts ran mad,
Distractions all day long. 
The rain hit my face...
And washed each care away.

I was soaked...
Soaked with peace. 
Soaked with a sense,
Of pure joy.

God was in the rain.
God was in the wind.
God was running down my face
And cleansing my heart within.

If my body let me,
My spirit would run forever. 

Find your release every day.  Flee from ungodliness and run after what God is showing you. 

Where I Belong

My Prince of Peace,

Recently you have given me AMAZING chances to really dig deep into what I am able to do through you.  My music has really exploded out of my being...and I can honestly say it's not all me.  If it was me, I would be hesitant.  I would know I could do it, but it wouldn't work.  Harmonies wouldn't be so clear.  I would be thinking constantly about what I was going to do next, if I was in sync with everyone around me...it just happens Lord.  It's the most amazing feeling in the world.  It almost feels like I'm not even here in the crowd.  When I sing, I feel like I'm not even here anymore.

Sometimes it feels like I'm watching from the outside
Sometimes it feels like I'm breathing but am I alive
I will keep searching for answers that aren't here to find


I know that my walk toward you isn't supposed to be easy, and I know that these musical moments are a spiritual refresh for me to be able to continue doing your will in other areas of my life.  It won't always work out, in fact I will mess it up before I can make it work.  My feelings and emotions run wild, and my heart longs for things that are both from you and not of you...some of them won't come soon enough.  I sometimes feel like I want to crack and give in...but I know it's not worth it. 

So when the walls come falling down on me
And when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me.


Lord Jesus, if there is one thing that keeps me going, one thing that I anticipate most...it's this...


All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong


All things we know here are going to crumble.  Anything we put our trust in that is earthly is going to crack and fall under our feet.  I know where I wanna be. 


When the earth shakes I wanna be found in You
When the lights fade I wanna be found in You

Heavenly Father...I know where I belong.  I sing this at the top of my lungs all day long for the rest of my life.  This is not where I belong.  I wanna come home. 

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

Amen.

Hold Me Jesus

I love Rich Mullins...I heard this song tonight and I wanted to share the lyrics with everyone. 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gBGGX3yvMo


Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace 

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace 

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need 

And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace 

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Perseverance

Exercising is something that I enjoy doing, but only when my body gets into the kick of doing it.  Weight lifting, yoga, Wii Fit...these are things that I've tried and found some pleasure in doing.  My newest form of exercise that has been most successful for me thus far has been running.  Never thought I'd be a runner, and I still don't consider myself to be an avid runner.  I am just doing it to let out some energy and burn some calories (and tone up my body by building endurance). 

When I got done running today, I went to google maps and calculated my distance.  I was never a "good" runner, and am not now...but to me, 3.5 miles without stopping to walk or rest was pretty good!  My best so far! 

I pondered this after I ran.  I remembered the first time I tried this running thing...I was so excited when I could hit 1 mile without passing out!  Now I am at 3.5 and honestly felt like I could keep going.  How did I progress?  What was it in me that was keeping me going?  Why did I keep running almost every day to go from 1 mile to 3.5?  Perseverance.  I wanted to get better.  I wanted to feel better.  I wanted to finish feeling accomplished, and see results. 

How many times do we set goals like this?  We want to feel better, lose weight, get more energy, feel accomplished...and especially see the results.  How often do we set these goals spiritually?  "In 2 months, I want my cholesterol to be down by ___."    "In 1 month, I want to lose 15 pounds." 

What about "In 2 months I want to better understand the love Jesus has for me."?  There is the classic "I want to read the whole Bible in one year."  In my opinion, this is great...but shouldn't you set a more in depth goal?  Just reading is one thing...but God warns us of just reading without meaning (James 1:22-25)  I would suggest setting subgoals under that.  Going through the Old Testament, "I want to understand the importance of those that were in the direct line of Jesus."  or  "I want to see how each person points to Jesus."  It may even be "I want to understand more of what was going on in Old Testament times so I appreciate more of the changes Jesus made in his new covenant." 

Because of our sinful world, we will have days when our runs will just be too humid, or it will rain on us.  Back to my running...yesterday was such a humid day, and I ran my normal distance...finishing strong but really REALLY sweaty and tired...because of that, I was able to run the next day with ease, and much farther.  This is so true with our spiritual runs.  James 1:2-4, 12.  This even hints at a result to our running.  The crown of life...It is a sign of accomplishment.  It makes us feel better, and is our sign of results to our running.  If we are moving a little forward each time, we are progressing.  We develop perseverance because we want to get farther than we did before. 

And like most exercises, you get a routine that when it's broken, you can't get back on.  Just as we are spiritually, if we go away from our routine, we have a heard time getting back with God. 
So, keep running toward Him.  Run a little farther each day.  Set your goals, but set personal goals that allow you to dig deep into your running.  You will see the progress.  I promise. 

Personal Promises

"Standing, standing...standing on the promises of Christ my Savior.  Standing, standing, I'm standing on the promises of God." 

Romans 8:31
"If God be for us, who can be against us?"

Romans 8:28
"We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to your purpose." 

I Corinthians 10:13
"No trial has come to you but what is human.  God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it."

John 16:33
"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble, but take heart!  I have overcome the world."

I John 3:2
"Beloved, we are God's children now; what we shall be has not yet been revealed.  We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is."

Psalm 138:8
"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.  Do not forsake the world of your hands."


Ruth 3:18
"...'Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens.  For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today.'"

Jeremiah 29:13
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."


Heavenly Father, 
Thank you for these promises you give us God.  Thank you for encouraging me in so many areas that I need encouragement God.  I know that the testing of my faith develops perseverance, that I will be made complete, not lacking anything when I overcome these tests.  I know that you won't give me more than I can handle with you by my side.  I know God that someone is out there for me.  You aren't pushing me toward celibacy...thank you for that.  You continue to promise me with hidden messages in the lives of these women...you acknowledge ways I can be a better woman and how I should be interacting with my future husband.  I know he is out there.  I pray for him constantly...many times daily.  He won't rest...his heart won't be at ease until you allow him access to my heart.  I pray for that unity God...sooner than later.  Let our hearts combine because you want it God.  Not because anyone is pushing it, not because I can't be patient and try to take control of it myself...but because your timing is key.  I plead with you God, but I know that all things work out for good. 

Joshua 23:14
"Not one of all the good promises the LORD your God gave you has failed.  Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed."

Psalm 27:14
"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

Psalm 130:5
"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."

"So I wait, for you.  Yes I wait for you.  I'm falling on my knees.  Offering all of me.  Jesus you're all this heart is living for." 
"Take my life and let it be, consecrated all to thee." 
"I sing because I'm happy.  I sing because I'm free, for His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me."

Proverbs 13:12
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."


Lord Jesus, King of kings....Father....Please fulfill these promises so that my hopes may blossom rather than weigh heavy.  

"I love you, all of my hope is in you.  Jesus Christ, take my life, take all of me."

Let this hope in my heart be as I pray it...it hasn't gone away.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you...make this hope a tree of life soon God.  Please.  I know you can do this.  For if I pray, pray without doubts.  

James 1:6-8
"But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."

Faith, hope, and love....and the greatest of these is love...

How God Can and Should be Using Me

Some of my friends had taken this test and posted their results up.  I encourage you all to try this test as well.  It is an excellent way for you to narrow down what strengths God has in your life, as well as find out what weaknesses He can make you stronger in (if He desires that from you).   http://www.kodachrome.org/spiritgift/index.htm

Here is mine.  I hope to hold these dear and have confidence on what God is using me for...and to not doubt anymore.

Tue Aug 16 00:23:03 2011 EST

Score	Graph of Score	Spiritual Gift	Statement / Response
25	==========================	Music	20 = 5	48 = 5	76 = 5	104 = 5	132 = 5
25	==========================	Mercy	17 = 5	45 = 5	73 = 5	101 = 5	129 = 5
23	========================	Faith	9 = 3	37 = 5	65 = 5	93 = 5	121 = 5
21	======================	Exhortation	8 = 5	36 = 3	64 = 3	92 = 5	120 = 5
21	======================	Craftsmanship	4 = 5	32 = 3	60 = 5	88 = 5	116 = 3
19	====================	Writing	28 = 5	56 = 3	84 = 5	112 = 1	140 = 5
17	==================	Hospitality	13 = 3	41 = 3	69 = 3	97 = 5	125 = 3
17	==================	Encouragement	6 = 3	34 = 5	62 = 1	90 = 5	118 = 3
17	==================	Teaching	24 = 5	52 = 3	80 = 1	108 = 5	136 = 3
17	==================	Helps	12 = 3	40 = 5	68 = 1	96 = 3	124 = 5
17	==================	Poverty	22 = 3	50 = 3	78 = 5	106 = 5	134 = 1
15	================	Wisdom	27 = 3	55 = 3	83 = 3	111 = 3	139 = 3
15	================	Intercession	14 = 5	42 = 3	70 = 3	98 = 3	126 = 1
15	================	Pastoring	21 = 3	49 = 3	77 = 3	105 = 3	133 = 3
15	================	Knowledge	15 = 3	43 = 3	71 = 3	99 = 3	127 = 3
15	================	Giving	10 = 3	38 = 3	66 = 3	94 = 3	122 = 3
14	===============	Miracles	18 = 5	46 = 3	74 = 0	102 = 5	130 = 1
13	==============	Leadership	16 = 1	44 = 3	72 = 3	100 = 1	128 = 5
13	==============	Administration	1 = 3	29 = 1	57 = 3	85 = 3	113 = 3
12	=============	Healing	11 = 5	39 = 0	67 = 5	95 = 1	123 = 1
11	============	Apostle	2 = 3	30 = 1	58 = 1	86 = 3	114 = 3
11	============	Discernment	5 = 1	33 = 1	61 = 3	89 = 3	117 = 3
11	============	Evangelism	7 = 1	35 = 3	63 = 3	91 = 1	119 = 3
9	==========	Prophecy	23 = 1	51 = 3	79 = 3	107 = 1	135 = 1
8	=========	Missionary	19 = 1	47 = 1	75 = 0	103 = 3	131 = 3
6	=======	Celibacy	3 = 1	31 = 1	59 = 1	87 = 3	115 = 0
1	==	TonguesSpeaking	26 = 1	54 = 0	82 = 0	110 = 0	138 = 0
0	=	TonguesInterpreting	25 = 0	53 = 0	81 = 0	109 = 0	137 = 0

Purity vs Virginity

I promise this will be shorter...

This is a quick topic I want to hint at...because I have heard many of people (guys and girls) talk about purity and keeping that for their husband.  Don't get me wrong...SEEK PURITY CONSTANTLY.  If you are a virgin, stay a virgin.  Don't ruin that perfect unity with a Mo-Joe person just because it feels right...trust me.  It won't feel so right later.  Even if you think it's the right guy and the right time...the ONLY right time is after you say "I do."  Genesis 2:23-25  How many places in Paul's letters can you find this topic?  Please...stay a virgin. 

One friend I talked to about this said that if she dated someone that didn't wait for her, she would be pissed (and I get this hint from other people as well).  I get the impression that guys and girls will use this as 'the last straw'.  "Oh she couldn't wait for me, so I'm not even going to consider this person." 

Further along in the conversation, another friend said "We wear a purity ring, not a virginity ring." 
Virginity=1. The state of never having had sexual intercourse
Purity=1. Freedom from adulteration or contamination
           2. Freedom from immorality, esp. of a sexual nature

See the difference?   This goes out to those of you who think that individuals who gave into their sexual desires are forever tainted and stained with that curse, or at least aren't good enough to consider because we couldn't wait...isn't all sin equal?  What gives us the right to judge?  Doesn't God still love and use these people?  Let me show you how God tolerates prostitution and sexual immorality when hearts are changed. 

Israel as God's prostitute=Judges 10:6-16
Gomor=God instructs Hosea to marry this prostitute (symbolism between God and Israel) Hosea 1-2
"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.  There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.  There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt.  'In that day,' declares the LORD, 'you will call me "my husband"; you will not longer call me "my master."'"  Verses 14-16
Rehab, prostitute who was greatly used by God despite her sins=Joshua 2
David with Bathsheba=2 Samuel 11:1-17; 12:1-14
"Then David said to Nathan, 'I have sinned against the LORD.'  Nathan replied, 'The LORD has taken away your sin.  You are not going to die.'" (Verses 13-14)

If we really want to, we can change.  Again, purity is defined as freedom from adulteration or contamination and freedom from immorality, esp. of a sexual nature.  Thanks to Christ, we are no longer slaves to our sinful nature...but we have to really desire God over this and completely rid ourselves of this chain through Christ.  (Ephesians 2:1-9, Romans 6:18, Galatians 5:13)  We don't have to remember or dread on them.  God doesn't, if we are really freed from that then we don't...we learn from it and lean on the second chance that Christ gives. 

Why should it still be held against us, and why should these people be judged by that when we have just as much crud on our plate as well?  Evaluate your own slate and life before you pass a judgment on a changed heart.

And friends, thanks for the talks and discussions on topics like these.  It makes for great Biblical research on my part and deep blog posts into my own heart, and hopefully yours as well.  =)   

Love you all as a sister in Christ.

My Pseudo Vacation

I had given myself a few days off my normal day job to enjoy life and branch into things I have not been able to do.  I took this time to reflect on the things that I really enjoyed doing, but didn't even sit back to do.  Song writing was one of these things, and studying different topical questions that I couldn't ever sit down and look into.

Mainly, I wanted to quiet myself.
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."  I Peter 3:3-4 

Okay...I am thinking to myself "Well, I don't think my spirit is actually as 'quiet' as this passage expresses..."  I am a pretty rowdy girl at times...in fact I wouldn't really classify myself as 'quiet' or 'gentle' most of the time.  But really, I sat and thought about this.  What does it mean for me to be quiet and gentle in spirit?   Just because I am not the introverted girl sitting in a corner by herself keeping her voice down to a minimum...am I still quiet and gentle in spirit?  If not, how can I be?


Do I obtain this spirit by not keeping myself busy?  Well, I wouldn't think so.  Let's look at Proverbs 31.  Here are little snippets of this chapter that describes a wife of noble character:
"She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls." (15)
"She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." (17)
"She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." (20)
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." (25)

• This woman is working hard!  Verse 25 already tells me that this girl isn't sitting around looking pretty and petite.  And thank goodness she is laughing!  Especially at the days to come...she isn't worried or fretting.  Maybe this is part of that gentle spirit...

Do I have a quiet and gentle spirit by just...being quiet?  Not sure how I can do this...I am a loud person most of the time...especially when I am around good friends and want to keep a light mood.  Is this such a bad thing?  I don't think me being quiet gives me a "quiet" spirit.  Here is why:

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22
"Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue."  Proverbs 17:28
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Romans 12:15
All the Psalms...just saying. 
"Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.  Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord., always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."  Ephesians 5:19-21
"An evil man is snared by his own sin, but a righteous one can sing and be glad." Proverbs 29:5

Now, when it comes to a quiet and gentle spirit, let me just unload all these verses that I have found that I feel God is telling me to consider with a quiet and gentle spirit...especially the last three characters listed: (Sorry, you'll have to open your Bibles and look these up.  It's going to be too much to write out for me)

Romans 8:25; 12:9-16; 14:1
Colossians 3:12, 15, 17; 4:2 and 6
I Thessalonians 4:11; 5:14, 16
Ephesians 4:2 and 3; 5:22-24
I Corinthians 1:29, 31; 13:4-9
Proverbs 12:25; 29:11; 30:18<=Finding the awe and amazement expressed in these things
Ruth (Ruth 3)
Abigail (I Samuel 25)
Abishag (I Kings 1-2)

Now...what is NOT a gentle and quiet spirit and why, as modeled by woman I have studied in depth so far (just to name a few):

Eve (Genesis 3:1-6)  Her dominance over Adam caused the fall.
Sarah (Genesis 16:1-6) Taking God's promise into her own hands, and mistreating her servant for something she could not control (Hagar honestly couldn't do anything but obey, and was 'punished' for obeying her masters)
Lot's Wife (Genesis 19:26) Couldn't completely part with her materials and comfort and paid the price for it.
Rachel (Genesis 30:1) Really rash and jealous of her sister, even though she was more captivating in appearance and loved far greater than Leah by Jacob.

In summary of my findings, having a quiet and gentle spirit doesn't necessarily come from the fact that I am a quiet individual who appears to be constantly sweet...it reflects my heart.  Just taking a few things from my long list of verses...I need to think less of myself and lose the pride, open my arms to the poor, love unconditionally, be loyal and patient, seek purity, and sing at the top of my lungs with songs of praise and thanksgiving!

Surely brings a great peace to my soul to understand that I can in fact have a gentle spirit...even if it's mostly shown in my loud exclamations and thanksgiving!   

One Anothers

This was described a while back in my church's Sunday school class.  I found it again and wanted to post this to show everyone just what we are instructed to do for one another. 



I John 3:23; 4:7 & 11- Love One Another
Galatians 5:13- Serve One Another
Galatians 6:2-Bear One Another's Burdens
James 5:16-Pray for One Another
Ephesians 4:32-Be Kind to One Another
Ephesians 5:21-Submit to One Another
James 5:16-Confess Sins to One Another
Hebrews 3:13-Encourage One Another
Hebrews 10:24-Gather Together/Provoke Love to One Another
Romans 12:16-Live in Harmony with One Another
Romans 15:7-Welcome One Another
Romans 12:13-Give to One Another
I Thessalonians 5:26-Greet One Another with a holy kiss
Colossians 3:12-14-Forgive One Another/ Put up with One Another
Philippians 2:4-Look at One Another's Interests
Colossians 3:16-Teach One Another with wisdom and Sing and Praise God with One Another.

Remember and act on these One Another's today.

Be Yourself

This is going to come from Genesis 29:1-30  The rest of this story can pose other questions...but the one I want to bring to you all is this...Do you want to be the Rachel in a man's life, or a Leah dressed like the Rachel? 

First, read what happens in this passage.  I don't want to tell the story and keep you from reading the words of God yourself. 

Jacob loved Rachel.  He saw her at the well and kissed her.  He was willing to work for her hand in marriage...and work for a long 7 years!  This is true dedication! 

Ladies, do you realize that godly men do this as well today?  They work for the right girl to come along.  They work for the woman they are expecting to get from God.  They work to be ready for the right woman. They trust God will give it like Jacob trusted Labon to give him Rachel.  (Now obviously Labon is far from God).  Do you want to dress like another man's woman?  Change yourself to fit their obligations and priorities so you look more attractive?  Is that showing real love ladies? 

Here is a random quote that stuck out: "You know you love someone when you want them to be happy even if their happiness means that you're not part of it." -Unknown  (Now the question of whether love was really there is worth arguing...but giving up this urge in your life shows a great amount of respect and trust if not love)

Back to the Bible...what does it say once Jacob finally got his Rachel? 
Verse 30 "Jacob lay with Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah..."  Do you want to be loved ladies?  So why would you pretend to be someone you're not?  In the end, the man won't love you like you want him too. 

Here's the bright side...you are somebody's Rachel.  Someday, you will find your Jacob who will work for you.  Reflect on these two ladies and how Jacob interacted and reacted to both of them.  Wouldn't you want to be the one being pursued?  Be yourself ladies.  Some guy will find that in itself absolutely breath-taking!