Reflection on Waiting

I will be blunt....waiting sucks. 

I think someone prayed for patience with me, because I can sit and reflect on how impatient I am feeling on many different things that I think I can see coming together in my life. 

To name a few things, I have been waiting for a solution for my acne.  After waiting months with appointments and blood work, I can finally start on this medication (that is going to take some time before it actually starts to take away my blemish).  So, still waiting. 


I had been waiting and waiting for a reply from this job, whether it is a phone call asking to accept the job or a letter of rejection.  I find myself needing to refocus and trust in God's plan in my life regardless of this job status. 

I am still very much waiting for my main "weakness," but it's more of a delayed promise than a weakness.  I know I am being prepared and equipped for the one God is wanting me to join with, and I know it will happen...in God's timing.  I so badly want to be a wife, and watching my sister's daughter celebrate her first birthday...I want to eventually be a mom.  There is still something in me that needs to click before I can be expected to live that part of my life...and both myself and my future husband will know when it's clicked for both of us. 

I can't help be keep reflecting back to Acts 1 where Jesus tells His disciples to wait.  I have to keep putting myself in that place.  Jesus/God is telling me to wait..and then lists all these things I need to wait for.  (and these are just reasons that I feel God is placing on my heart while the waiting is happening)

Wait with this acne, because I need you to learn more about the beauty you have inside of you rather than the beauty you are wanting on the outside.  

Wait with this job, because you need to be thinking and refreshing that part of your life as a certified professional so that you may better glorify me.  I may have use for you at your current job and it's not time to leave that yet.  

Wait with your husband, because I have plans that you need to accomplish as a single woman.  I have tests to prove to you if you are emotionally ready for it.  I have weaknesses to be made stronger so you can better serve your household that I will raise up for you.  I need to you think about now, because that's where I need you to work. 

These lyrics are from John Wallers song "While I'm Waiting"

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

Dear Heavenly Father, 
I am waiting...patiently (or as patient as I can be) I will wait for these requests to be accomplished in your time.  My acne won't vanish overnight, this job may or may not happen, and my husband may be far from ready for me as I am for him.  When will I know who?  Maybe I already do...I am just waiting.  Maybe I am wrong.  I accept either answer...as long as there is an answer Father.  "A hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."  (Proverbs 13:12)  I pray...no...I beg for this tree of life. 
"He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin." (Proverbs 13:3)  I don't want to be rash God...teach me to be patient.  Teach me to wait.  I have no choice right now.  Teach me to be patient effectively.  In Acts 1, the disciples waited by praying constantly.  I want to be in tune with you constantly God...because I don't want to miss your answers and wait longer.  Help prepare my husband just as you are preparing me.  I want to be my husband's crown (Proverbs 12:4).  I want my husband to have full confidence in me, and trust me (Proverbs 31:11)  I want to be constantly looking up and asking for your guidance (Proverbs 31:30).   I love you Lord, and I lift my voice to worship you.  Oh my soul rejoice.  Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary, pure and holy.  I am waiting.  I am waiting on you Lord, and I am hopeful.  I am waiting on you Lord, though it is painful...but patiently I will wait.  
Please Lord, do not delay these requests any longer than needed...but help me to make this quicker in any way I can.  I trust you God, completely.  
Love you Dad.  I pray this in your Son's holy and precious name...Amen.