As Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself thinking about this last year...I remember a year ago now I was getting more acquainted with people at Grace, I was pushing through a full-time internship and an almost full-time job...and I was hit with a devastating break-up. It was hard for me to find things to be thankful for...but somehow I did see a brightness in that break-up. It was the start of something...that moment started my growth in a whole new way. It changed my perspective on the bad things that happen to me. God was loving, but His love doesn't just come in what we picture as His blessings. In fact, I realized how fast I clung to God when I went through this. I didn't have time to cry. I didn't have time to vacate from life. Life was still happening rapidly, and my life outside my personal life showed no mercy on me. I needed God to get me through it, and He showed me just what I could do when He took my heart back.
Gradually, He had been taking my heart back more and more. Hosea's picture in chapter 2 took my breath away... "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." God wanted to allure me. God wanted to speak tenderly to me after the one thing I really clung to was taken from me (yes...I will admit my relationship ran my life over God). It ruled my life. I based my life on that relationship...and I needed to be cut from it.
The story of Ruth had changed with me as well, and here were the main themes that I had gone through with Ruth:
-A love story based on boldness in initiation
-A love story based on waiting and trusting
-A love story based on loyalty and devotion to loved ones and God
All these were points I saw with Ruth...but the bottom line reflects on that last point I made. Yes she was bold...yes she trusted and waited...but it's because she was loyal to the person that told her to. Naomi had told her to "uncover Boaz's feet." Naomi told Ruth to "wait until you find out what happens." Ruth followed Naomi after her husband had passed away, saying "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God...." She says more along these lines...THAT is loyalty. She loved Naomi and Naomi's God.
What does that mean for me? What has God really been doing within me this last year when it came to my devastation and growth from it? How am I still the Ruth character in this love story God is writing for me?
Basically, I need to love God. I need to be loyal to God above all else, even if it means leaving the area I am comfortable with. If He really means that much to me, I would give up everything like Ruth did to follow Naomi and serve God. I need to give my heart up to God continuously and stop trying to put it into other guys' hands. I need to let my true Kinsman-Redeemer give it away when it's the right time. "Wait until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today." God will give my heart to a man who is looking up to receive it. If he is looking up and searching for it through God, He will grant it.
In the mean time, God is showing me some amazing things that I wouldn't see if I was so intoxicated with a relationship like I had. God knows when my heart will be ready to be handed off into the arms of another man, whom I trust will become my husband. He is preparing me for it, and no matter how hard life gets I know it's a blessing in disguise...so I embrace it.
Thank you God for the tests and trials...for the tests are truly tests to show me how far I've gone. It shows me what I've learned and what I need to learn more of. The hard times bring me closer to you. Thank you for healing relationships with those close to me, and for softening my heart to those that I need to be closer to. Thank you God for friends that love you and are used by you to guide me and encourage me. Thank you for revealing yourself to me as the powerful, gracious, and fatherly God you are. Thank you for taking me as your adopted child, your beloved bride, and your closest friend. Thank you for holding my heart safe, and I trust you will give it away. Thank you for reigning in your throne in Heaven, and still allowing little me to come before you.
Reflect on the blessings in your life and be thankful for where God has brought you.
Have a blessed Thanksgiving all.
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