Suffocating

I know God leads us all to take risks...and when he tells you to do something, phew you'll know it!  No matter the cost of that though, you should obey.  Each time you do, you notice your heart changing...you see something about yourself you wouldn't have noticed before.  You fully understand the meaning of "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" and how we are molded by the potter's hands.  Not even 2 years ago, I would be crying over so many things that tried my heart...things I depended on too much or was uncertain of.  The truth is, I am getting closer to saying that "I can laugh at the days to come."  I can delight in the sorrows.  Instead of getting mad at God, He provides a peace so I can acknowledge His sovereignty in my life and trust and hope.  I couldn't do that on my own. 

Without God's hands in my life, I would be this girl completely obsessed with how good she looked and how many heads she'd want to turn...I would be this girl crying over every crush that told her no.  I would be sitting up late writing emo poems and listening to songs that made her heart bleed.  I would have no self worth.  I would have settled for far less.  If you know me now...is this the woman you see?

Instead, God allows me to offer thanks in moments when I "should" be crying.  He keeps me calm when I "should" be screaming.  He guides my thoughts clearly when my emotions "should" be flooding them.  Don't let that vicious cycle continually rule our lives.  My heart is a precious gem, molded and created by the one who knows exactly what it needs to look like.  I am wanting to know more about the God I serve so I can fall in love with His character more and more and change more and more into the image of His son, Jesus Christ. 

I wrote this song tonight in reflection of God's work in our lives.  I have another one in progress about another area of my life, but it's too late to work on that one.  Here are the lyrics to the one I completed. 

Suffocating

Sleeping by the sea
Body sinking in the sand.
Tide is flowing in
No desire to stand.

I thought I could hear
So I didn't breathe.
Cause every wave
Was comforting me.

I'm not the same girl.
I am different each day.
It's by the potter's hands
That my life has changed.

Standing on the waves.
While the thunder roared.
Tossed and turned aside,
Struggling for control.
Jesus I know I hear
But it was so hard to breathe.
Cause every wave
Was consuming me.

I'm not the same girl.
I am different each day.
It's by the potter's hands
That my life has changed.

Why fight alone?  Why take control?
Oh God only you can change my soul!

I'll breathe you in no matter the cost
Cause God this heart is no longer lost

I'll breathe you in no matter the pain
Cause I am fearfully and beautifully made.

I'm not the same girl.
You're changing me still.
It's only by your hands oh God
That my life will show your will.