Last night I had the opportunity to babysit some amazing kids for a couple hours. I will admit, I'm pretty "out of practice" with babysitting kids. I got slightly nervous about the whole deal, but saw how silly it was for me to be nervous as the night went out.
These kids were so good, and I honestly enjoyed putting these kids to bed. One of these little kids didn't really want to get any sleep while there were new people in the house with her! She wanted to keep getting up and be with us. However, it was very precious to be on her bed with her reading her a story and talking with her to try to get her little eyes weary, even if it was more than once.
As I lay there with her, praying with her, I couldn't help but think of when this would be my girl. As I put the little boys down, I couldn't help but think when my little boy is going to sleeping under my care.
As I was home with my parents, talking about their parents, I couldn't help but think about them as the grandparents of my children....and how much I wanted to give them more little kids that they would watch grow up and be a valuable part of their lives as their parents were to me. Both my granddads did not live long after I was born. My mom's dad passed away a couple days before my 3rd birthday, and my dad's dad didn't live much longer after that. My last grandma passed when I graduated high school. I hold such great memories with her, but wonder what my grand dad's were really like.
I pray my kids won't have these questions in their lives, because I really pray my parents can have a chance to spoil my kids and give them amazing memories that we can share together when they get older. This is just one more excuse for me to get antsy and anxious about my future, but I need to keep remembering these valuable lessons that Jesus teaches me:
Do not be anxious about anything, but offer everything to Him in prayer (Phil. 4:6-7)
God is making everything beautiful in it's time (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
God is always working, and sometimes I have not because I ask not...If I have faith and remain in Him, I know He will come through for me (John 14-16)
I also wanted to share an awesome visual I read last night...picture yourself in this:
It's a hot day out here in this wasteland. As you ride along on the ranch, you begin to gather the cattle in the area. You are out on this task alone, but as you ride around looking for all of your herd, you look off in the distance and see a giant rock that could be seen for miles. You remember the voice of your father saying "Do not be afraid. If you ever get lost, go to that rock. Stay there, and I promise you we will come for you."
You keep riding, and eventually lose track of time and location. As you turn back, you see the rock from a distance. You aren't afraid, you remember what your father said. You begin to ride toward the rock and hide in it's shade to keep yourself from the beating sun. Hours go by, but you continue to wait because your father said he would come.
Then, in the distance, you see your father coming for you...just like he promised.
How awesome is that? God is described as our rock and our refuge. I felt this was an amazing way to visualize what that would be like for us. God provides us with his ultimate protection, and whatever promises He has placed in your life, He will keep those promises. While you wait for Him, He also promises to keep you safe. What comfort!
I am sitting on this rock while I wait for God to come make me a wife and mother, and I am also sitting on this rock while I wait for God's promise to bring me in His presence...and I have to remember to stay on this rock as I wait. Someday I'll see Him coming to fulfill so many promises and desires to me, but what a comfort to know the refuge I am in as I wait. He is good and kind and gentle in Spirit, and He never fails.
Let your imagination run wild with this fact of our loving Savior. His love never fails, never gives up, never runs out of you. He is patient, and He makes all things beautiful in it's right time. Trust Him, and take refuge in Him every day.
Clear sky, stars twinkling above. Nothing around you but open land. You're sitting on a huge rock, resting in it's protection as it hides you from unwanted critters in the night. You look up to the heavens and close your eyes "Here I am Lord. Here I wait, for you. You will come, you promised."
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