Not Good Enough

I am not good enough. 

I cannot do anything well. 

I can't make a difference.  

I am not strong enough.  

I have to carry everyone's troubles...no one has time for mine. 

These are all grouped into lies that we usually picture first to break us down, tear our hearts apart, and make us want to scream.  However, this isn't always the case.  These are my common lies:

I am the best.  

No one can do what I am able to do. 

I can't be less than perfect...no one can see that I am less than that. 

I am strong enough to do it on my own.

I can't break down, no one can see me cry.  

This is funny to me...because I am writing a study based on the book of Ruth about how we as women are to flourish in our roles, however my heart does not reflect it all the time.  We women are emotional creatures, but I HATE it when I am "weak."  I need to understand something very valuable...I am not perfect.  I will fail.  It is okay.  (Do you hear this Kat...it is okay to fail.  It is okay to not have all the answers.  It is okay to cry)  Now, I know that I know it, but I don't know it. (did you follow?) 
My head knows the truths, but my heart many times refuses to make it truth.  Both sets of lies are wrong, but they are right.  They are both 100% true to those who know Christ.  

"We are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags [in God's sight]…." Isaiah 64:6

This is so hard for me...so hard.  The reality is that anything good I do is no better than a used tampon.  This is truth.  This verse says it is truth...for those that don't know Christ.  My good works will not get me into heaven.  They are worthless in God's sight and cannot win my salvation.  My good works cannot bring glory because my heart is wicked. (Jer. 17:9) 

So, to an extent, the first set of "lies" are truths to me: 

I am not good enough. 


I cannot do anything well. 


I can't make a difference.  


I am not strong enough.  



But, only through the power of Christ, here is how these truths become absolute Truth...

I am not good enough, but Christ is making me perfect.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." Philippians 3:12

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:13

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." 2 Corinthians 4:7

Christ called me to go make a difference. 
"Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name
of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."  Matthew 28:19

I shouldn't underestimate the power of Christ in me, but I cannot think that this power and ability is my own. 

I can't find this balance alone.  I can't.  I struggle continuously with my insecurity and pride and waiting to become perfect, but I feel that is why we have community.  That is why Christ gave us the Church.  To help each other.  Lift each other up, carry each others' burdens.  We need to give it up and ask for help, and we need to be willing to help others.  Some people get this help from friends.  They are more open and comfortable with it.  Others can post publically and feel better about it.  But others are more reserved with their personal struggles, and they may just need one real close, trusting person, who will be there through thick and thin to help carry it.  Every one is different, but God gives what we need to bring the glory to Him. 


God, I need you, and I need people to help me need you.  Bring people in my life to help me break down the lies and build up the Truth.  I can't do it alone, I need you and I need you to bring me people to help.  Use people to remind me of your calling for me and to just do something...to tell me its okay, bring people to tell me that I can't do it, but through you I can.  Give me people to find this balance, because I can't do it God.  I am not perfect...and even though I don't always want to wait for it, remind me that you are making me perfect.  This is my struggle, but thank you that you have overcome! 

"So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor." 

1 Peter 5:6

I love you all.