So many times I start my prayers with "Dear Heavenly Father." To me, God is my heavenly father. He is the father figure in the trinity, and thus has been that spiritual guide and comfort to hold me when I can't cry to anyone else.
Matthew 6:9 starts the Lord's prayer, saying "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name..."
Psalm 7:1 states "O Lord my God, I take refuge in you..."
Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Luke 18:17 "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."
Ephesians 5:1-2 "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
Like a little girl running to her dad for support and peace, I run to the God Almighty to be that support in my life.
Jesus has always been like my best friend. The guy friend that I call anytime I want and share the deepest desires of my heart to.
Now, I must confess something here. I am a woman that has struggled greatly with relationships...mostly being patient enough to get one. So many friends of mine want to see places and go do things before they are "tied down." I want to be "tied down." I have so many awesome things that I can see outside of the Bible in this present age that I want to share with someone. I want that man so bad, and when I think I've got a good one...I either have to wait excessively for him to take action or get heartbroken when another girl walks into his heart. I have my eyes set, but my inner being is struggling....I am trying to lift this up continuously to God, telling him to just take my desires and tell me what I should be feeling. My feelings have not changed, but my patience is drawing thin.
A wonderful spiritual woman advised me of a way to ease this need in my heart. She instructed to change the way I look at Jesus. Jesus was my best friend, but maybe I needed to take that next step with Him in my life. Maybe Jesus should be that husband figure that I so desperately am searching for. Maybe I should be searching in a way to not just know my friend better, but really learn about my role with Jesus as my husband. This is my new goal, to hopefully better ease my life.
We as the Church are considered to be Jesus' bride. (Ephesians 5:22-33) One part of this passage that I really enjoy is "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands." This is an excellent reference for couples-to-wed, but I also take this into my new look on Jesus. I am part of the Church body as a believer, and I should be able to submit to Christ as my husband, or at least I would think so.
It is a new idea for me, but I feel that this is a constant void in my life that needs to be filled spiritually. I understand that a man down here will not fill this to the capacity that Jesus can, so I will focus on that instead. Then will God "give me the desires of my heart" (Psalm 37:4).
Paul states in his letter to the Philippians in chapter 4 verse 11 "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." I too need to learn to be content with the circumstances. I pray so much that God will just take my life and let it be consecrated to thee. (song reference) Sometimes I still get in the way.
Even today during church worship, I found myself getting caught up in the little parts of the service that shouldn't be hindering my praise and glory to God...especially when He has truly provided an amazing opportunity for me to stay in the area I am in! Why would I let myself get bogged down with things like guitar volume or technology...it kept my heart from screaming his praise.
Later, after the service ended, I heard an amazing testimony that took my heart for a loop! A couple from the church, way before I got there, had shared a story of struggles, emotional pain, and spiritual suffering. As I listened to this story of how this man was separated from his wife in prison, over false accusations, I was reminded of things that are greater than what I can do. God worked in strange ways for them, ways that I couldn't even image going through myself. My mess ups in worship meant nothing after that. My personal conflict meant nothing...it was all about their life, their support, and their growing faith.
Sometimes God puts those people in our lives so we can take a step back and think outside our little box. So much more is happening...if we aren't looking, what will we miss? Tonight in young adult bible study, a question was raised about Matthew 13:58 "And he [Jesus] did not do many miracles there [his hometown] because of their lack of faith." I took this one way, and was told another way...Jesus works in ways that are to help us grow. He performs the miracles so that everyone's faith may expand, not to put on a show. He also kept some amazing work from these people because of their lack of faith. They missed out because of their inability to look beyond themselves at who Jesus really was. Will we do the same?
To wrap this all up, Jesus performed great things in lives to change them for the glory of His kingdom. Who wouldn't want a guy like this as a husband? I strive to find a man down here on earth that can match up to Jesus in these ways: that he will continue to seek God out in the deepest of his suffering (Luke 22:39-44), that he will love me and be willing to nourish me spiritually (John 6:32-33 and Ephesians 5:25-27), he will forgive me for my past sins and compromises (John 8:1-11), grow with me spiritually (Philippians 1:9-10), and promise to never leave me (Hebrews 13:5).
That day will come for me to find my "Mr. Wonderful" on earth, but to fill my void right now, Jesus is that Mr. Wonderful. I will begin my deep and intimate relationship with Jesus in this sense. Maybe then my earthly husband figure will be revealed to me more clearly.
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