Oh...How He Loves...

Tonight, I want to share a few awesome things that have been happening to me recently.  I understand some may read this and say "Yeah, she's totally day-dreaming" or "She just made herself believe this."  Honestly, I didn't.  I can't explain how I know...but I know that everything that happened was put into my heart.  You ever have those moments where you sit and go "Where did that idea come from?"  This is like that, except I know where it all came from.

I felt led to reveal personally what Jesus has been doing for me...I am writing straight from my journal entries the past few days, but I'm not writing everything...only some key points.  I hope this is encouraging to you all, to find yourself in this place of intimacy with your loving Savior and Heavenly Father, who wants to rule in your hearts today.

1-31-12


Tonight in prayer meeting, I asked God to show us what He sees in us.  I asked my Daddy to let me see a glimpse of what His heart sees and feels.  I asked to see God face to face...


2-4-12


I remembered feeling worthless...usually I can approach the throne in prayer...but tonight I felt like I couldn't.  I didn't feel deserving.  I would tell Jesus that I didn't feel like I deserved to see the Father tonight. 


Worship at Ablaze started up tonight.  I closed my eyes, and Jesus stood before me...I held His hands and sang praises to him.  He let me, little me, glorify him.  He looked deep into me the whole time, and I remember being so in love with him right there...my heart sang louder than my voice did for Jesus.  After praising him, we started a series of conversations...questions came to my mind that I asked throughout the message...responses came after. 


What gifts are in me?  What good am I?  As your daughter, what do you instruct me to do? 
--"Live today as you have been shown."  (Acts 17:26B-27)
You have appointed me here, now...so I would seek you and reach out to you.  Reach to you for guidance, but also in thanksgiving that you still use me and call me. 


What is my name?  What do you call me?  What is my heart created for?
What gifts are mine from you? 
--"Patience, music, encouragement, serving, mercy...compassion, creativity, giving, energy...passion (He led me to Matthew 25)  Don't hide these things...as my daughter, use what I give you.  Don't hide your spiritual body...don't bury what I have given you." 


--"Kat, how are you using these gifts?"
In my nursing home, youth group, family, friends, mime...


--"Are they for my glory?"
...I try Lord.


--"What do you desire...truly?"
I want to desire you.  (Psalm 37:4 was mentioned earlier in the evening) I want to delight in you so my desires come from you. 


--"Kat, I want you to come to the Father...Let me show you Him..."


That moment, Jesus picked me up, turned me around so he was behind me, then he held me.  His head resting by mine.  My spirit got restless and I turned around to face him, but he assured me.  He knelt down and began to wash my feet.  As Jesus lifted his head to me, it was so bright I couldn't make out a face.  His body radiated so bright that I could barely keep my eyes open.  I then felt hands touch my face then hold my sides.  "You are not fat, you are beautiful and worth it to me, my child." 

God answered my prayer from the first entry...I saw God face to face...my Heavenly Daddy, and He held me dear to Himself.
We have our struggles, and our revelations about how wicked our hearts are.  I had a realization of how I viewed myself...Proverbs 23:7 made me realize where my spiritual body was at...and it made me feel so wretched...but Jesus wanted to bring me to the Father anyway.  You don't need a boyfriend to really feel and experience passionate, intimate love.  I did two weekends in a row.  If you want to know how the other weekend went I'd love to share that with you face to face.  I won't hesitate to tell you anything you ask about my life.

May this bring you encouragement and rise up a passion to feel this intimacy with God, your Heavenly Father, who wants to take your breath away.  This is why we were created...this is what God desired from the beginning, and this is why Jesus died, so God could have this with us again.  Let Jesus show you the Father today.